Well, ya got trouble, my friend, here, I say, trouble right in River City. Why I'm a billiard player, Certainly proud I say I'm always proud to say it. I consider the hours I spend a cue in my hand are golden. Help you cultivate horse And a cool and a keen eye. Did ya take and try to give An leave to yourself From a three-rail billiard But as I say, It takes judgement, brains, and maturity to In a line game, I say that any kin take And shove a in a pocket. And call that sloth. The big step on the road To the depths of I say, first, medicinal wine a teaspoon, beer from a bottle. An' the next ya know, son is playin' for money In a suit. And to some big out-a-town Jasper Hearin' him tell horse-race gamblin'. Not a wholesome race, no! But a race where they set down on the horse! to see some stuck-up jockey'boy Sittin' on Dan Patch? Make your blood Well, I say. Friends, let me tell you I mean. You got one, two, three, four, five, six in a table. Pockets that mark the a gentlemen and a bum, With a "B," And that rhymes with "P" and stands for pool! And all week long River City Youth'll be away, I say young men'll be frittern! Frittern away their noontime, suppertime, too! Get the in the pocket, Never mind Dandelions pulled Or the door patched or the beefsteak pounded. Never pumpin' any water 'Til your parents are caught the Cistern empty On a Saturday night and trouble, Oh, yes we got lots and a' trouble. I'm thinkin' of the in the knickerbockers, young ones, peekin' in the pool Hall window school, ya got trouble, folks! here in River City. Trouble a capital "T" And that with "P" and that stands for pool! Now, I know all you folks are the kinda parents. I'm gonna be frank. Would ya like to know what kinda conversation On while they're loafin' that Hall? tryin' out Bevo, tryin' out cubebs, Tryin' out Tailor Mades like Fiends! And all about How they're gonna cover up a tell-tale breath Sen-Sen. One night, they leave the pool hall, Headin' for the at the Arm'ry! men and Scarlet women! And Rag-time, shameless That'll grab son and your daughter the arms of a jungle animal instinct! Mass-steria! Friends, the brain is the devil's playground!
Trouble, oh we got trouble, Right in River City! With a "T" That rhymes "P" And that for Pool, stands for pool. We've got trouble! Right in River City, here! Gotta out a way To keep the young ones after school! Trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble...
Mothers of City! Heed that warning before too late! Watch for the tell-tale of corruption! The minute your son the house, Does he his knickerbockers below the knee? Is there a nicotine on his index finger? A novel hidden in the corn crib? Is he starting to memorize from Capt. Billy's Whiz Are certain words creeping his conversation? like, like 'swell?" And your old man?" Well, if so my friends, Ya got trouble, Right in River city! a capital "T" And that rhymes "P" And stands for Pool. surely got trouble! Right here in City! the Maine, Plymouth Rock and the Golden Rule! Oh, got trouble. We're in terrible, trouble. That with the fifteen numbered balls is a devil's tool! Oh yes we got trouble, trouble, trouble! a "T"! Gotta rhyme it with "P"! And that for Pool!!!