Well, ya got trouble, my friend, here, I say, trouble here in River City. Why I'm a billiard player, Certainly mighty I say I'm mighty proud to say it. I consider the hours I spend With a cue in my are golden. Help you cultivate sense And a cool and a keen eye. Did ya take and try to give An iron-clad to yourself From a three-rail billiard But as I say, It takes judgement, brains, and maturity to In a baulk game, I say that any kin take And a ball in a pocket. And they that sloth. The first big on the road To the depths of I say, first, medicinal wine a teaspoon, Then from a bottle. An' the thing ya know, Your son is playin' for In a suit. And list'nin to some big out-a-town Hearin' him about horse-race gamblin'. Not a trottin' race, no! But a race where set down right on the horse! Like to see some jockey'boy Sittin' on Dan Patch? your blood boil? Well, I say. Friends, let me you what I mean. You got one, two, three, four, five, six in a table. that mark the diff'rence Between a and a bum, a capital "B," And that with "P" and that stands for pool! And all week long River City be frittern away, I say your men'll be frittern! away their noontime, suppertime, choretime too! Get the in the pocket, Never mind gittin' Dandelions Or the screen door patched or the pounded. mind pumpin' any water 'Til parents are caught with the Cistern empty On a night and that's trouble, Oh, yes we got lots and a' trouble. I'm of the kids in the knickerbockers, Shirt-tail ones, peekin' in the pool Hall after school, ya got trouble, folks! here in River City. Trouble with a "T" And rhymes with "P" and that stands for pool! Now, I know all you folks are the right parents. I'm gonna be frank. Would ya to know what kinda conversation goes On while they're loafin' around that They're tryin' out Bevo, out cubebs, out Tailor Mades like Cigarette Fiends! And braggin' all How they're gonna up a tell-tale breath with Sen-Sen. One fine night, they leave the hall, for the dance at the Arm'ry! Libertine men and women! And Rag-time, shameless That'll grab your son and your With the of a jungle animal instinct! Mass-steria! Friends, the idle is the devil's playground!
Trouble, oh we got trouble, Right in River City! With a "T" That rhymes "P" And stands for Pool, stands for pool. We've got trouble! here in River City, here! Gotta out a way To the young ones moral after school! Trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble...
Mothers of City! Heed that warning it's too late! Watch for the tell-tale of corruption! The minute son leaves the house, Does he his knickerbockers below the knee? Is there a stain on his index finger? A dime novel in the corn crib? Is he starting to jokes from Capt. Whiz Bang? Are certain creeping into his conversation? Words like, 'swell?" And your old man?" Well, if so my friends, Ya got trouble, here in River city! With a "T" And rhymes with "P" And that for Pool. surely got trouble! Right here in City! Remember the Maine, Plymouth and the Golden Rule! Oh, got trouble. We're in terrible, trouble. That game with the fifteen balls is a devil's tool! Oh yes we got trouble, trouble, trouble! With a "T"! Gotta it with "P"! And that for Pool!!!