Well, ya got trouble, my friend, here, I say, right here in River City. Why I'm a billiard player, mighty proud I say I'm always proud to say it. I that the hours I spend a cue in my hand are golden. Help you cultivate sense And a cool and a keen eye. Did ya ever and try to give An iron-clad leave to From a three-rail billiard But as I say, It takes judgement, brains, and to score In a baulk game, I say any boob kin take And shove a in a pocket. And call that sloth. The big step on the road To the depths of I say, first, medicinal from a teaspoon, beer from a bottle. An' the next ya know, son is playin' for money In a suit. And list'nin to big out-a-town Jasper Hearin' him tell horse-race gamblin'. Not a trottin' race, no! But a where they set down right on the horse! to see some stuck-up jockey'boy Sittin' on Dan Make your blood boil? Well, I say. Friends, let me tell you I mean. You got one, two, three, four, five, six in a table. Pockets that mark the Between a and a bum, With a "B," And that rhymes "P" and that stands for pool! And all week your River City be frittern away, I say your men'll be frittern! away their noontime, suppertime, choretime too! Get the in the pocket, Never gittin' Dandelions pulled Or the door patched or the beefsteak pounded. Never mind pumpin' any 'Til your parents are with the Cistern empty On a Saturday night and trouble, Oh, yes we got and lots a' trouble. I'm of the kids in the knickerbockers, Shirt-tail young ones, peekin' in the Hall after school, ya got trouble, folks! here in River City. Trouble with a "T" And that with "P" and that stands for pool! Now, I know all you are the right kinda parents. I'm gonna be frank. Would ya like to know what kinda conversation On while they're loafin' that Hall? They're tryin' out Bevo, out cubebs, Tryin' out Tailor like Cigarette Fiends! And all about How they're gonna cover up a breath with Sen-Sen. One fine night, leave the pool hall, Headin' for the at the Arm'ry! Libertine men and women! And Rag-time, music That'll your son and your daughter With the of a jungle animal instinct! Mass-steria! Friends, the idle is the devil's playground!
Trouble, oh we got trouble, Right here in City! a capital "T" That rhymes "P" And stands for Pool, That for pool. surely got trouble! Right here in City, here! Gotta out a way To keep the young ones after school! Trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble...
Mothers of City! that warning before it's too late! Watch for the tell-tale of corruption! The minute your son the house, Does he rebuckle his knickerbockers the knee? Is there a nicotine on his index finger? A dime novel hidden in the crib? Is he starting to jokes from Capt. Billy's Whiz Are certain words creeping into his like, like 'swell?" And your old man?" Well, if so my friends, Ya got trouble, here in River city! With a "T" And that rhymes "P" And that for Pool. We've got trouble! here in River City! Remember the Maine, Plymouth Rock and the Rule! Oh, got trouble. in terrible, terrible trouble. That game with the fifteen balls is a devil's tool! Oh yes we got trouble, trouble, trouble! With a "T"! Gotta it with "P"! And stands for Pool!!!