Well, ya got trouble, my friend, here, I say, right here in River City. Why I'm a billiard player, Certainly mighty I say I'm always proud to say it. I consider that the hours I a cue in my hand are golden. Help you horse sense And a cool and a keen eye. Did ya take and try to give An iron-clad to yourself From a three-rail billiard But as I say, It judgement, brains, and maturity to score In a baulk game, I say any boob kin take And a ball in a pocket. And they that sloth. The first big step on the To the depths of I say, first, wine from a teaspoon, beer from a bottle. An' the next ya know, Your son is playin' for In a suit. And list'nin to some big out-a-town Hearin' him tell about gamblin'. Not a trottin' race, no! But a race where set down right on the horse! Like to see stuck-up jockey'boy on Dan Patch? Make your blood boil? Well, I say. Friends, let me tell you I mean. You got one, two, three, four, five, six in a table. Pockets that mark the a gentlemen and a bum, With a "B," And rhymes with "P" and that stands for pool! And all week your River City Youth'll be away, I say young men'll be frittern! Frittern their noontime, suppertime, choretime too! Get the in the pocket, Never mind gittin' Dandelions Or the screen patched or the beefsteak pounded. Never pumpin' any water 'Til your parents are caught with the Cistern On a night and that's trouble, Oh, yes we got lots and a' trouble. I'm thinkin' of the in the knickerbockers, Shirt-tail young ones, peekin' in the Hall after school, ya got trouble, folks! here in River City. Trouble with a "T" And that with "P" and that stands for pool! Now, I know all you are the right kinda parents. I'm gonna be frank. Would ya like to know what kinda conversation On while loafin' around that Hall? They're tryin' out Bevo, out cubebs, Tryin' out Mades like Cigarette Fiends! And all about How they're gonna cover up a breath with Sen-Sen. One fine night, they leave the hall, Headin' for the at the Arm'ry! men and Scarlet women! And Rag-time, shameless That'll grab your son and your With the arms of a animal instinct! Mass-steria! Friends, the idle is the devil's playground!
Trouble, oh we got trouble, Right here in City! a capital "T" That with "P" And stands for Pool, stands for pool. We've got trouble! Right in River City, here! Gotta out a way To the young ones moral after school! Trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble...
Mothers of City! Heed warning before it's too late! for the tell-tale sign of corruption! The minute your son the house, Does he his knickerbockers below the knee? Is there a nicotine on his index finger? A novel hidden in the corn crib? Is he to memorize jokes from Capt. Billy's Whiz Are words creeping into his conversation? like, like 'swell?" And 'so's old man?" Well, if so my friends, Ya got trouble, here in River city! With a "T" And that rhymes "P" And that for Pool. We've got trouble! here in River City! Remember the Maine, Rock and the Golden Rule! Oh, got trouble. We're in terrible, trouble. That game with the numbered balls is a devil's tool! Oh yes we got trouble, trouble, trouble! a "T"! Gotta rhyme it with "P"! And stands for Pool!!!