Well, ya got trouble, my friend, here, I say, trouble right here in City. Why sure I'm a player, Certainly mighty I say I'm mighty proud to say it. I consider the hours I spend With a cue in my are golden. Help you cultivate horse And a cool head and a eye. Did ya ever take and try to An leave to yourself From a billiard shot? But as I say, It takes judgement, brains, and maturity to In a baulk game, I say that any boob kin And shove a in a pocket. And they call sloth. The first big on the road To the depths of I say, first, medicinal wine a teaspoon, beer from a bottle. An' the next ya know, Your son is for money In a suit. And list'nin to some big Jasper Hearin' him tell horse-race gamblin'. Not a wholesome race, no! But a race where set down right on the horse! to see some stuck-up jockey'boy Sittin' on Dan Patch? Make your boil? Well, I say. Friends, let me tell you I mean. You got one, two, three, four, five, six in a table. that mark the diff'rence Between a and a bum, With a "B," And rhymes with "P" and that stands for pool! And all long your River City Youth'll be away, I say your men'll be frittern! Frittern away their noontime, suppertime, too! Get the in the pocket, Never mind gittin' Dandelions Or the screen patched or the beefsteak pounded. mind pumpin' any water 'Til your are caught with the Cistern empty On a Saturday night and trouble, Oh, yes we got lots and a' trouble. I'm of the kids in the knickerbockers, Shirt-tail young ones, in the pool Hall after school, ya got trouble, folks! here in River City. Trouble a capital "T" And that rhymes with "P" and that for pool! Now, I know all you folks are the right parents. I'm gonna be frank. Would ya like to know what kinda conversation On while they're loafin' around Hall? They're tryin' out Bevo, out cubebs, out Tailor Mades like Cigarette Fiends! And braggin' all How they're cover up a tell-tale breath with Sen-Sen. One fine night, leave the pool hall, Headin' for the at the Arm'ry! Libertine men and women! And Rag-time, music That'll grab your son and your With the arms of a jungle instinct! Mass-steria! Friends, the idle is the devil's playground!
Trouble, oh we got trouble, Right in River City! With a "T" That rhymes "P" And stands for Pool, That for pool. We've got trouble! Right here in City, here! Gotta out a way To keep the young ones moral school! Trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble...
Mothers of City! Heed that warning before too late! Watch for the sign of corruption! The minute son leaves the house, Does he his knickerbockers below the knee? Is there a nicotine stain on his finger? A dime hidden in the corn crib? Is he starting to memorize from Capt. Whiz Bang? Are certain words into his conversation? Words like, 'swell?" And your old man?" Well, if so my friends, Ya got trouble, Right in River city! With a "T" And that with "P" And that for Pool. We've got trouble! Right in River City! Remember the Maine, Plymouth and the Golden Rule! Oh, got trouble. in terrible, terrible trouble. That game with the fifteen numbered balls is a tool! Oh yes we got trouble, trouble, trouble! With a "T"! Gotta rhyme it "P"! And that for Pool!!!