Well, ya got trouble, my friend, here, I say, trouble right in River City. Why I'm a billiard player, Certainly mighty I say I'm always mighty to say it. I consider the hours I spend a cue in my hand are golden. Help you cultivate horse And a cool head and a eye. Did ya ever take and try to An iron-clad leave to From a three-rail shot? But as I say, It takes judgement, brains, and to score In a line game, I say that any kin take And shove a in a pocket. And call that sloth. The first big step on the To the of deg-ra-Day-- I say, first, medicinal from a teaspoon, beer from a bottle. An' the thing ya know, Your son is playin' for In a suit. And list'nin to some big out-a-town him tell about horse-race gamblin'. Not a trottin' race, no! But a race where set down right on the horse! to see some stuck-up jockey'boy Sittin' on Dan Patch? Make your boil? Well, I say. Friends, let me tell you I mean. You got one, two, three, four, five, six in a table. Pockets that mark the a gentlemen and a bum, With a "B," And rhymes with "P" and that stands for pool! And all long your River City be frittern away, I say your young be frittern! Frittern away noontime, suppertime, choretime too! Get the in the pocket, Never mind gittin' Dandelions Or the screen door patched or the pounded. Never mind any water your parents are caught with the Cistern empty On a Saturday and that's trouble, Oh, yes we got lots and a' trouble. I'm thinkin' of the in the knickerbockers, Shirt-tail young ones, in the pool window after school, ya got trouble, folks! Right in River City. Trouble with a "T" And rhymes with "P" and that stands for pool! Now, I know all you folks are the right parents. I'm be perfectly frank. Would ya to know what kinda conversation goes On while they're loafin' around that They're tryin' out Bevo, out cubebs, Tryin' out Tailor Mades like Fiends! And braggin' all How they're gonna cover up a tell-tale with Sen-Sen. One fine night, leave the pool hall, for the dance at the Arm'ry! Libertine men and women! And Rag-time, shameless That'll grab your son and your With the of a jungle animal instinct! Mass-steria! Friends, the idle brain is the playground!
Trouble, oh we got trouble, Right here in City! a capital "T" That with "P" And that for Pool, That for pool. We've got trouble! Right in River City, here! Gotta out a way To keep the ones moral after school! Trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble...
Mothers of City! Heed that before it's too late! Watch for the tell-tale of corruption! The minute son leaves the house, Does he rebuckle his knickerbockers below the Is there a stain on his index finger? A dime novel hidden in the corn Is he to memorize jokes from Capt. Whiz Bang? Are words creeping into his conversation? Words like, 'swell?" And 'so's old man?" Well, if so my friends, Ya got trouble, here in River city! With a "T" And that with "P" And stands for Pool. surely got trouble! Right here in City! Remember the Maine, Plymouth Rock and the Rule! Oh, got trouble. We're in terrible, trouble. That with the fifteen numbered balls is a devil's tool! Oh yes we got trouble, trouble, trouble! With a "T"! Gotta it with "P"! And that for Pool!!!