Well, ya got trouble, my friend, here, I say, trouble right in River City. Why sure I'm a player, mighty proud I say I'm always proud to say it. I that the hours I spend With a cue in my are golden. Help you horse sense And a cool head and a eye. Did ya ever and try to give An leave to yourself From a three-rail shot? But as I say, It takes judgement, brains, and maturity to In a baulk game, I say that any boob kin And a ball in a pocket. And they call sloth. The first big step on the To the depths of I say, first, medicinal wine a teaspoon, Then beer a bottle. An' the thing ya know, Your son is for money In a suit. And list'nin to big out-a-town Jasper Hearin' him about horse-race gamblin'. Not a trottin' race, no! But a race where they set down on the horse! Like to see some jockey'boy Sittin' on Dan Patch? Make your boil? Well, I say. Friends, let me tell you I mean. You got one, two, three, four, five, six in a table. Pockets mark the diff'rence Between a and a bum, a capital "B," And that rhymes with "P" and stands for pool! And all week long your River Youth'll be away, I say your men'll be frittern! Frittern away noontime, suppertime, choretime too! Get the in the pocket, Never mind gittin' Dandelions Or the screen door or the beefsteak pounded. Never pumpin' any water your parents are caught with the Cistern empty On a Saturday and that's trouble, Oh, yes we got and lots a' trouble. I'm thinkin' of the in the knickerbockers, young ones, peekin' in the pool Hall after school, ya got trouble, folks! Right in River City. with a capital "T" And that rhymes "P" and that stands for pool! Now, I know all you folks are the kinda parents. I'm be perfectly frank. Would ya like to know what kinda conversation On while they're around that Hall? They're tryin' out Bevo, out cubebs, out Tailor Mades like Cigarette Fiends! And all about How they're gonna cover up a tell-tale breath Sen-Sen. One fine night, leave the pool hall, for the dance at the Arm'ry! Libertine men and women! And Rag-time, shameless That'll grab your son and your With the arms of a animal instinct! Mass-steria! Friends, the idle is the devil's playground!
Trouble, oh we got trouble, Right here in City! With a "T" That with "P" And stands for Pool, That for pool. We've got trouble! here in River City, here! Gotta out a way To keep the young ones after school! Trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble...
Mothers of City! Heed that before it's too late! Watch for the sign of corruption! The minute son leaves the house, Does he rebuckle his knickerbockers below the Is there a nicotine stain on his finger? A dime novel hidden in the corn Is he starting to jokes from Capt. Billy's Bang? Are words creeping into his conversation? like, like 'swell?" And your old man?" Well, if so my friends, Ya got trouble, Right here in city! a capital "T" And that with "P" And stands for Pool. We've got trouble! Right in River City! the Maine, Plymouth Rock and the Golden Rule! Oh, got trouble. in terrible, terrible trouble. That game with the fifteen numbered balls is a tool! Oh yes we got trouble, trouble, trouble! With a "T"! Gotta it with "P"! And stands for Pool!!!