Well, ya got trouble, my friend, here, I say, trouble right here in City. Why I'm a billiard player, mighty proud I say I'm always proud to say it. I that the hours I spend a cue in my hand are golden. Help you cultivate sense And a cool head and a eye. Did ya take and try to give An iron-clad to yourself From a billiard shot? But as I say, It judgement, brains, and maturity to score In a line game, I say that any kin take And a ball in a pocket. And they call sloth. The first big on the road To the of deg-ra-Day-- I say, first, medicinal from a teaspoon, Then from a bottle. An' the next ya know, son is playin' for money In a suit. And list'nin to some big Jasper Hearin' him tell horse-race gamblin'. Not a wholesome race, no! But a race where they set right on the horse! to see some stuck-up jockey'boy Sittin' on Dan Patch? Make your boil? Well, I say. Friends, let me tell you I mean. You got one, two, three, four, five, six in a table. that mark the diff'rence Between a and a bum, With a "B," And rhymes with "P" and that stands for pool! And all week long your River Youth'll be away, I say young men'll be frittern! Frittern their noontime, suppertime, choretime too! Get the in the pocket, Never gittin' Dandelions pulled Or the door patched or the beefsteak pounded. mind pumpin' any water 'Til your are caught with the Cistern empty On a night and that's trouble, Oh, yes we got lots and a' trouble. I'm of the kids in the knickerbockers, Shirt-tail young ones, peekin' in the Hall window school, ya got trouble, folks! here in River City. Trouble a capital "T" And that rhymes "P" and that stands for pool! Now, I know all you folks are the kinda parents. I'm be perfectly frank. Would ya like to know what kinda goes On while they're loafin' around that They're tryin' out Bevo, out cubebs, Tryin' out Tailor Mades like Fiends! And all about How they're gonna cover up a tell-tale breath Sen-Sen. One fine night, leave the pool hall, Headin' for the at the Arm'ry! Libertine men and women! And Rag-time, music That'll your son and your daughter With the arms of a animal instinct! Mass-steria! Friends, the idle brain is the playground!
Trouble, oh we got trouble, Right here in City! With a "T" That with "P" And that for Pool, That for pool. surely got trouble! Right in River City, here! Gotta out a way To keep the ones moral after school! Trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble...
Mothers of City! that warning before it's too late! Watch for the tell-tale of corruption! The your son leaves the house, Does he rebuckle his knickerbockers the knee? Is there a nicotine stain on his index A dime novel hidden in the corn Is he starting to memorize jokes Capt. Billy's Whiz Are certain words into his conversation? like, like 'swell?" And your old man?" Well, if so my friends, Ya got trouble, here in River city! With a "T" And rhymes with "P" And that for Pool. surely got trouble! Right here in City! Remember the Maine, Plymouth and the Golden Rule! Oh, got trouble. We're in terrible, trouble. That game with the fifteen balls is a devil's tool! Oh yes we got trouble, trouble, trouble! With a "T"! Gotta it with "P"! And stands for Pool!!!