Well, ya got trouble, my friend, here, I say, trouble here in River City. Why I'm a billiard player, Certainly proud I say I'm mighty proud to say it. I that the hours I spend a cue in my hand are golden. Help you cultivate sense And a cool and a keen eye. Did ya ever and try to give An leave to yourself From a three-rail billiard But as I say, It takes judgement, brains, and to score In a baulk game, I say that any boob kin And a ball in a pocket. And they call sloth. The first big step on the To the of deg-ra-Day-- I say, first, medicinal wine a teaspoon, beer from a bottle. An' the next ya know, Your son is for money In a suit. And list'nin to big out-a-town Jasper Hearin' him tell about gamblin'. Not a wholesome race, no! But a race where they set down on the horse! Like to see stuck-up jockey'boy Sittin' on Dan Patch? Make your boil? Well, I say. Friends, let me you what I mean. You got one, two, three, four, five, six in a table. that mark the diff'rence Between a and a bum, With a "B," And that rhymes with "P" and stands for pool! And all week your River City Youth'll be away, I say your young be frittern! Frittern their noontime, suppertime, choretime too! Get the in the pocket, mind gittin' Dandelions pulled Or the door patched or the beefsteak pounded. Never mind any water 'Til parents are caught with the Cistern empty On a Saturday night and trouble, Oh, yes we got and lots a' trouble. I'm thinkin' of the in the knickerbockers, Shirt-tail ones, peekin' in the pool window after school, ya got trouble, folks! Right here in City. Trouble a capital "T" And that rhymes with "P" and stands for pool! Now, I know all you are the right kinda parents. I'm gonna be frank. Would ya like to know kinda conversation goes On they're loafin' around that Hall? They're out Bevo, tryin' out cubebs, Tryin' out Mades like Cigarette Fiends! And all about How they're gonna cover up a breath with Sen-Sen. One fine night, they leave the hall, Headin' for the at the Arm'ry! men and Scarlet women! And Rag-time, music That'll grab son and your daughter the arms of a jungle animal instinct! Mass-steria! Friends, the idle brain is the playground!
Trouble, oh we got trouble, Right in River City! With a "T" That with "P" And that for Pool, That for pool. We've got trouble! Right here in City, here! Gotta out a way To keep the young ones moral school! Trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble...
Mothers of City! Heed that before it's too late! Watch for the sign of corruption! The minute your son the house, Does he rebuckle his below the knee? Is there a stain on his index finger? A novel hidden in the corn crib? Is he starting to memorize jokes Capt. Billy's Whiz Are certain words creeping his conversation? Words like, 'swell?" And 'so's old man?" Well, if so my friends, Ya got trouble, Right in River city! With a "T" And that rhymes "P" And stands for Pool. We've got trouble! Right in River City! Remember the Maine, Plymouth Rock and the Rule! Oh, got trouble. We're in terrible, trouble. That game with the fifteen balls is a devil's tool! Oh yes we got trouble, trouble, trouble! With a "T"! rhyme it with "P"! And stands for Pool!!!