Tom: I'm going to back and I'm going to start a therapeutic massage center only for for... I'm going to start my own nudist colony Tom: would be grose, you tried that in our bus one time Mark: I tried to start our own nudist colony in our bus and it was much just me hanging out naked, they love you Tom They love me so fuck everybody else Mark: Yea fuck all you guys out there that are cheering, yea we hate you Tom you suck burn in hell Tom: Yea fuck that, hey I say I say fuck the hating Tom that's what I say, are we ready Mark Mark: You know what it is you know what it is a lot of these people are just now hopping on the we hate Tom bandwagon, like been hating tom since like 1995 I'm old school hating Tom guy alright Tom: Oh shit, hey let's all say dirty words, everybody say fuck, everybody say shit, everyone say dick, everyone say Mark's an ass hole Everyone say, everyone say we hate Mark, yea Tom: Hey now let's do this one, everyone say fuck shit fuck, that's the kind of words you should be using at home kids Mark: right What do we do now Mark: I want everyone to me an ass hole again Tom: What's up I your hair it's very nice Mark: You like his hair oh cool he probably appreciates that a lot Tom: I wanted to say I liked your but but I thought that was to foward you Hey this next song is for all the ladies in the hezouse, hea he it's for all the ladies in the heoueoueouze Mark! Mark: Tom: Shut the up Mark: It's for all the ladies in the houaeiouze, weee. Hey you know hang on I want to make this like a Tom: (belch) me Mark: Tom Sorry Mark: I want to make this like a big golf everyone shut up everybody just clap like it's a golf tourniment Tom: That's what it sounds like when I get done having sex, 15,000 people cheering me on, I could take all of you in my bed right fucking now, but you're not invited Mark. You have got giant and I doubt you're 18, do you have a note from your mom, I want to meet your mom... Mark: Hey put those 13 year old boobs away, if I wanted to see 13 year old boobs I'd hang out by the Junior like my dad like my dad does Tom: Hey you know what I learned in grade Mark: that your dad has a bent weiner Tom: My dad's weiner was bigger than mine then and is Mark: I want everyone here to scream, fuck you Tom,we fucking hate you you're going to burn in hell and die a horrible firery death cause' we hate you stupid of shit Tom: I that Thanks Tom: You want to give me your shirt, this smells like blood and feces, dinner time ok what does say here It smells like blood and feces, so it's your dad's shirt Tom: Hey uh just like every other band we in a safe form of sex don't we Mark, that we do so Mark's going to tell you about how safe we are Mark: Let me tell you about the safest form of sex, it's when you get super drunk and you have sex with like ten people totally unprotected and you do intravenous drugs at the same time, no not true Tom: It's not you have to carry a weapon. How many of you guys have girlfreinds and how many of your girlfriends have guy friends, I hope you're not having sex Mark: And more importanly how many of girlfriends have girlfriends Cause' we believe in the love that exists between two vaginas Mark: The most special kind of love of all is the love that exists two naked women while I watch Tom: We need her to put her shirt on Mark: Tom: It took away my boner, my boner just died, I had one and now it's gone Mark: Please I saw your and my wiener ran away. Hey hey hang on everyone everyone seriously I need your attention for just a second please, I think somebody lost a contact down here so everyone look around a contact lense hey someone lost a contact lense so uh... I lost my virinity Mark: an I out for it Tom: I lost a testacle, hey what if testacles were things you could lose on a everyday basis that would suck, you've got three, hey I've got to go pee pee Mark: Do you want to go pee and I'll to the kids for a second Tom: Do you think you can for enough time No uh uh Tom: Why you gather your thoughts Mark: Why don't you just wet your and we'll call it even Tom: I just piss in my pants right here, if you guys all pitch in a dollar each I'll piss my pants right here now, that should pay me about two-hundred bucks maybe Mark: I'll give you three-hundred to piss your pants right now Tom: I'll give you four-hundred bucks to eat my Mark: Tom: Sold, apparently there's a kid that's right now and I think they're helping them out right now, it looks like they're right there Mark: Make a people make a hole Tom: All you people over make way for the hurt kid and bring me their wallet Mark: I wish now you let me tell you guys something... I'm gay! Mark: There's thousands and thousands of people here today there's like semis and fucking and multiple bands and all kinds of shit, I wish now I would have taken bass lessons, sorry sorry So do I, I wish you did too Mark: I'm thinking for Christmas this year I'm going to ask for Tom: I know a guy, he has sex with his sister, he used his dick to pop her four blister, and I know it's not that cool, he fucked her in my swimming pool, he's got three testacles, and he loves to do shit, fuck yea. Hey how come every time we say a joke it has to be about fucking sex masturbation insest, or anything grose like that you know Mark: Is there anything in the world Tom: There's else to talk about Mark: Hey can you help that little girl out of there not having so much fun right now, hey Tom: Uh me, security guard sir Mark: The one right in of you, yea Tom: Yea that girl right there needs to come out, if a small person the front is not the best view, and if you hate seeing shitty bands any of this is not a good view, this whole everything every seat here. Mark's middle name is Rebecca, they thought he was a... Mark: That's right, my middle names because my dad wanted a girl, he treats me like one Tom: I still have to go pee and I'm holding it in still, I'll piss my pants though for money, I'll eat a of my own poop for twenty bucks, I'll pay you twenty bucks and I'll eat it You shave your ass Tom: You have hair on but your balls, Mark has no hair on his whole body but a fucking wolverine growning in his pants, I swear to God, it's got teeth and shit It's true Tom: He's got a scary penis Mark: It's true I need your tax deductable for the shave Mark's balls program, please Tom: for charity kids Mark: Please send what you can, donate time Tom: You guys think that we're for our own, no this is a charity tour for Mark's balls Mark: We're trying to enough money to shave my nuts, please give generously Tom: There's no metal enough to be the teeth on any kind of electric shaver, what do we do now, oh I need a new guitar We need a new guitar, we need a new guitarist, any one out there play guitar Tom: Does anybody how to play guitar cause' I'm not very good, people don't really respect me Mark: If I were a girl, every I went to the gynecologist, I'd fake an orgasm Bad kids Mark: Bad christmas Tom: Bad christmas Mark: Hey ok I light now Tom: We're going to point out every single person that sing Mark: Santa Claus is going to come to your and shit under all your trees Tom: Santa Claus is going to come rape your dogs, Oh God you know what I'm kind of ashamed of being myself today, and yesterday and the day before that, not really pround of who I am or how I look. Any one have one of those days were you don't even really like what you're wearing, you know, you don't like how your hair looks, and kind of bumed about how your penis is so and bent and wierd. That is the ugliest but I have ever seen. Let's hear it for not wiping! And this guy fuck wiping dude, brings down the rain forest. Ok this is a song I wrote... That guy has a science fair project up his ass Tom: Uh what head's up up, everyone close your eyes and if I come by and if I come by and put my finger in you but than you're the one. I think that Satan has a couple of Well kids it's been a really fun show, and I want you all to know that we'll come back soon, but before I go I want to say I think Tom is extemely good looking and all the girls out there should think he's good looking. Tom has one of the best butts that I've ever seen, shimi coco puff shimi shimi right shimi shimi coco puff. Does anybody here want to sleep with me. I'm really a nice guy, it's really not Satan... It's me it's not Satan let's all be happy not here say fuck Satan
Alright I'm out of and out of songs, I think we're done.