Tom: I'm going to come back and I'm going to start a therapeutic center only for for... Mark: I'm to start my own nudist colony Tom: That would be grose, you tried in our bus one time Mark: I tried to start our own nudist colony in our bus and it was pretty much just me out naked, they love you Tom Tom: They love me so fuck everybody Mark: Yea fuck all you out there that are cheering, yea we hate you Tom you suck dick burn in hell Tom: Yea fuck that, hey I say I say the hating Tom thing that's what I say, are we ready Mark Mark: You know what it is you know what it is a lot of these people are just now hopping on the we hate Tom bandwagon, like I've been hating tom since like I'm old school hating Tom guy alright Tom: Oh shit, hey let's all say some words, everybody say fuck, everybody say shit, everyone say dick, everyone say Mark's an ass hole Mark: Everyone say, say we hate Mark, yea Tom: Hey now let's do one, everyone say fuck fuck shit fuck, that's the kind of words you should be using at home kids Mark: That's What do we do now Mark: I everyone to call me an ass hole again Tom: What's up I like your hair it's very Mark: You like his oh cool thanks he probably appreciates that a lot Tom: I wanted to say I liked your but but I thought that was to foward you Mark: Hey this next song is for all the ladies in the hezouse, hea he it's for all the ladies in the Mark! Mark: Tom: the fuck up It's for all the ladies in the houaeiouze, weee. Hey you know what hang on I want to make this like a Tom: (belch) me Exuse Tom Tom: Mark: I want to make this like a big golf tournimant everyone up everybody just clap like it's a golf tourniment Tom: That's it sounds like when I get done having sex, 15,000 people cheering me on, I could take all of you in my bed right fucking now, but you're not invited Mark. You have got giant boobs and I doubt you're 18, do you have a note from your mom, I want to meet your mom... Mark: Hey put those 13 year old away, if I wanted to see 13 year old boobs I'd hang out by the Junior high like my dad like my dad does Tom: Hey you know I learned in fifth grade Mark: What's that your dad has a weiner Tom: My dad's weiner was bigger mine then and still is Mark: I want everyone here to scream, fuck you Tom,we fucking hate you you're going to burn in hell and die a horrible firery death cause' we hate you stupid of shit Tom: I that Mark: Tom: You want to give me your shirt, this smells like blood and feces, dinner time ok what does this say Mark: It smells like blood and feces, so it's dad's shirt Tom: Hey uh just like every other band we believe in a safe form of sex don't we Mark, that we do so Mark's going to you about how safe we are Mark: Let me you about the safest form of sex, it's when you get super drunk and you have sex with like ten people totally unprotected and you do intravenous drugs at the same time, no it's not true Tom: It's not true you have to carry a weapon. How many of you guys have girlfreinds and how many of your girlfriends guy friends, I hope you're not having sex Mark: And more importanly how many of your have girlfriends Tom: Cause' we in the love that exists between two vaginas Mark: The most special kind of love of all is the love that exists between two naked women while I Tom: We her to put her shirt back on Please Tom: It just took away my boner, my boner just died, I had one and now it's Mark: Please I saw your boobs and my wiener ran away. Hey hey hang on everyone everyone seriously I need your attention for just a second please, I think somebody lost a contact down here so everyone look around a contact lense hey someone a contact lense so uh... Tom: I lost my Mark: an I out for it Tom: I lost a testacle, hey what if were things you could lose on a everyday basis that would suck, you've only got three, hey I've got to go pee pee Mark: Do you want to go pee and I'll talk to the for a second Tom: Do you think you can talk for enough No uh uh Tom: Why don't you gather your Mark: Why don't you just wet your and we'll call it even Tom: Should I just piss in my pants right here, if you guys all pitch in a dollar each I'll piss my right here now, that should pay me about two-hundred bucks maybe Mark: I'll give you three-hundred dollars to piss pants right now Tom: I'll you four-hundred bucks to eat my shit Mark: Tom: Sold, apparently there's a kid hurt right now and I think they're helping them out right now, it looks like they're right there Mark: Make a people make a hole All you people over there make way for the hurt kid and bring me their wallet Mark: I wish now you let me tell you guys something... I'm gay! Mark: There's thousands and thousands of people here today there's like semis and fucking buses and multiple bands and all kinds of shit, I wish now I have taken bass lessons, sorry sorry So do I, I wish you did too Mark: I'm for Christmas this year I'm going to ask for lessons Tom: I know a guy, he has sex with his sister, he used his dick to pop her four foot blister, and I know not that cool, he fucked her in my swimming pool, he's got three testacles, and he loves to do shit, fuck yea. Hey how come every time we say a joke it has to be about fucking sex masturbation insest, or anything grose like that you know Mark: Is there anything in the world Tom: nothing else to talk about Mark: Hey can you help that little girl out of she's not having so much fun right now, hey Tom: Uh exuse me, guard sir The one right in front of you, yea Tom: Yea that girl right there needs to come out, if you're a small person the front is not the best view, and if you hate seeing shitty bands any of this is not a good view, this whole everything every seat here. middle name is Rebecca, they thought he was a... Mark: That's right, my middle names because my dad wanted a girl, he treats me like one I still have to go pee and I'm holding it in still, I'll piss my pants though for money, I'll eat a nugget of my own poop for twenty bucks, I'll pay you twenty bucks and I'll eat it Mark: You your ass Tom: You have hair on nothing but your balls, Mark has no hair on his body but a fucking wolverine growning in his pants, I swear to God, it's got teeth and shit Mark: It's Tom: He's got a scary penis Mark: It's true I need your tax deductable donations for the shave Mark's balls program, Tom: It's for kids Please send what you can, donate your time Tom: You guys think that we're touring for our own, no this is a tour for Mark's balls Mark: We're trying to raise enough to shave my nuts, please give generously Tom: There's no metal strong enough to be the teeth on any kind of electric shaver, do we do now, oh I need a new guitar Mark: We need a new guitar, we need a new guitarist, any one out play guitar Tom: Does anybody know how to guitar cause' I'm not very good, people don't really respect me Mark: If I were a girl, every time I went to the gynecologist, I'd fake an Bad kids Mark: Bad spirit Bad christmas spirit Mark: Hey ok I need now Tom: We're going to out every single person that didn't sing Mark: Santa Claus is going to come to your house and shit all your trees Tom: Santa Claus is going to come rape your dogs, Oh God you know what I'm kind of ashamed of being myself today, and yesterday and the day before that, not really pround of who I am or how I look. Any one have one of those days were you don't even really like what you're wearing, you know, you don't like how your looks, and kind of bumed about how your penis is so small and bent and wierd. That is the ugliest but I have ever seen. Let's hear it for not wiping! And this guy fuck wiping dude, brings down the rain forest. Ok this is a song I wrote... That guy has a science fair project up his ass Tom: Uh what head's up seven up, close your eyes and if I come by and if I come by and put my finger in you but than you're the one. I think that Satan has a of comments: Well kids it's been a fun show, and I want you all to know that we'll come back soon, but before I go I want to say I think Tom is extemely good looking and all the girls out there should think he's good looking. Tom has one of the best butts that I've ever seen, shimi shimi coco puff shimi shimi right shimi shimi coco puff. Does anybody here want to sleep with me. I'm really a nice guy, it's really not Satan... It's me it's not Satan all be happy he's not here say fuck Satan
Alright I'm out of and out of songs, I think we're done.