I dream that one day I'll have a child
And that child will say to me "Dad, what was war?"
But it's not going to happen
It's a war of the sexes, never get it bled
I beg that you learn 'cause she's cleverer
How attracted to you she is this party your gab?
But it's multiplied by how little of you she can have
Oi, the reason girls flirt is to work out their worth
Whereas men just hanker for the panky to happen
Retain this fact I'm hammering, this fact is gonna matter
What little you think you're letting by her sly
She senses you're near her and smells your desire
The general rule of mine, her intellect will be higher
Your task is to make her notice you fast
But hanker when you don't close in after
She knows she can get most dudes
Though she mustn't know about you
If you screw this all up and then lose all your cool
That's when she ends up liking you as a friend
You're not playing at hard to get
You're playing at not getting a hard-on yet
It's a war of the sexes, never get it bled
I beg that you learn 'cause she's cleverer
How attracted to you she is this party your gab?
But it's multiplied by how little of you she can have
And you wanna know what, listen
The answer is to get close enough to her
But listen the next thing you just totally blank her
You think I'm fucking mad don't you?
But I don't shag on my own
Get somewhere near to the lamb
Glance and then turn to the man
You do need to be near to the lamb
But she doesn't want to feel cramped
Instead of cowering up to the hostile lamb
Bowl up to the trusting man
It's much easier talking to him
He doesn't suspect you want anything
Just tell him something like
Did you know cigarette lighters were invented before matches?
It's ABC making a he break with glee
'Cos he isn't suspicious you're trying to muscle into his misses
Do you know what I'm talking about? That's why I'm talking about
It's a war of the sexes, never get it bled
I beg that you learn 'cause she's cleverer
How attracted to you she is this party your gab?
But it's multiplied by how little of you she can have
The woman is a highly socially-practiced
Master in body language, dab-handed actress
She's calculating all of the mad facts and the figures
While you're pretending to listen staring at her tits
It's a war of the sexes, never get it bled
I beg that you learn 'cause she's cleverer
How attracted to you she is this party your gab?
But it's multiplied by how little of you she can have
It's a war of the sexes, never get it bled
I beg that you learn 'cause she's cleverer
How attracted to you she is this party your gab?
But it's multiplied by how little of you she can have
Elementary, my dear cousin, I cannot state this enough
She must not clock your flop, you can't placard your march
Your threws seclude your moves or you're colluding well weapon
It's a war of the sexes never get it bled
I beg that you learn 'cause she's cleverer
How attracted to you she is this party your gab?
But it's multiplied by how little of you she can have
And remember not to get hammered either
'Cause people who get hammered don't get to nail
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