I the motion of the car before I open my eyes. The air is blue-black, brown-black, black-black. of gas, oil, animals. I'm in the trunk.
My wrists and tied. Tape over my it almost my nose but I can barely. I must have here for hours, stiff and my head throbs like someone's on china.
The car stops. He turns off the motor -- but are no traffic sounds. No people sounds. No wind. place has no wind? I turn my head the sounds like people watch radios when terrible happens.
My are sweating. Where am I? The trunk squeaks as he it up and the sun blinds me. He almost looks a faceless Jesus surrounded by light. He me out of the trunk and bangs my head against the door. I try to cry out, but it like a hum.
He drags me, half-standing, a dirt road into a house. I can't see any other houses and it looks a farm. The screen bangs behind me and I feel a deep, deep pressure inside. All the have changed here.
I'm down a hall like a bag and I look for a phone, other doors. Nothing but bare and brown boxes in small rooms. He pulls me the bathroom and I crack my head as he pushes me onto the floor. Tilts his head to the side and at me as if I was a pet then out.
I'm lying for a long time, trying to get the tape off of me. My are tearing. I don't make a sound. I can't get up and I rolling from side to side, trying not to make noise.
got to get him to talk to me. If I can get this thing off my I can talk to him. tell him my name. Have you killed other in here? I'm thinking you've got hundreds of them down, on walls, hanging from ceiling fans swinging dead in wind.
Why did you me? If I had stayed to finish at the I would have been twenty minutes longer maybe I'd been OK. Would rushed into the house, books piled up in my arms like a baby, and explanations why I was sorry. So I'm late everyone.
Would you waited for me anyway? Would you have another woman? I have read about her in the paper and said oh my god, I was there night... and all my friends in a panic. Telling then how much I loved them as if I'd never the chance again.
I wonder what everyone is now. Putting up signs. Showing my picture on the news. Calling old friends. Maybe I'm not considered missing yet.
The family will fall and my parents will go crazy. Slowly. My brother will be so quiet at the and insist the casket be closed. (I never even told anyone kind of funeral I wanted when I died.)
Maybe years from now they'll find my on the floor and they'll have to use dental records to identify me. My will say "At least we know now. We always she was alive somewhere. We just hope in peace."
When I sleep my are crazy -- I'm flying over fields. I don't think I for more than twenty minutes and when I wake up, it feels I'm under a heavy blanket. I'm still here.
As I wake up I hear a dog barking in the and I think I'm in my parents' in South Carolina. When I my eyes, there's a shotgun pressed between them. never get married. I'll have kids. I'll go to Europe. never learn to play piano. I'll write a book.
The thing I hear is a click