I the motion of the car before I open my eyes. The air is blue-black, brown-black, black-black. of gas, oil, animals. I'm in the trunk.
My wrists and tied. Tape over my it almost my nose but I can barely. I must been here for hours, everything's and my head throbs like drumming on china.
The car stops. He off the motor -- but there are no traffic sounds. No people sounds. No wind. What place has no I turn my head towards the like people watch when something terrible happens.
My are sweating. Where am I? The trunk squeaks as he lifts it up and the sun me. He almost looks a faceless Jesus surrounded by light. He pulls me out of the trunk and bangs my head the door. I try to cry out, but it comes a hum.
He drags me, half-standing, a dirt road into a house. I see any other houses and it looks like a farm. The door bangs behind me and I feel a deep, deep pressure inside. All the have changed here.
I'm dragged down a hall a bag and I look for a phone, other doors. Nothing but bare floors and brown boxes in rooms. He pulls me the bathroom and I almost crack my head as he me onto the floor. Tilts his head to the and gazes at me as if I was a pet walks out.
I'm there for a long time, trying to get the tape off of me. My are tearing. I don't make a sound. I get up and I keep rolling from side to side, trying not to make noise.
got to get him to talk to me. If I can get this thing off my face I can to him. I'll him my name. Have you killed other women in I'm thinking you've got hundreds of them down, on walls, hanging from ceiling fans swinging dead in wind.
Why did you me? If I had stayed to at the library I would been there twenty minutes longer I'd have been OK. Would have rushed into the house, piled up in my arms like a baby, and blurted why I was sorry. So sorry I'm everyone.
Would you waited for me anyway? Would you have another woman? Would I read about her in the paper and said oh my god, I was there night... and all my friends in a panic. Telling then how much I loved them as if I'd never the chance again.
I wonder what is doing now. Putting up signs. Showing my on the evening news. Calling old friends. Maybe I'm not even missing yet.
The will fall apart and my parents will go crazy. Slowly. My brother will be so quiet at the and insist the casket be closed. (I never even told anyone kind of funeral I wanted when I died.)
Maybe years from now they'll my skeleton on the floor here and they'll to use dental records to identify me. My family will say "At we know now. We always she was alive somewhere. We hope she's in peace."
When I sleep my dreams are -- I'm flying over fields. I don't think I sleep for more twenty minutes and when I wake up, it feels like I'm a heavy blanket. I'm still here.
As I wake up I hear a dog barking in the and I think I'm in my parents' house in Carolina. When I open my eyes, there's a shotgun pressed them. never get married. I'll never kids. never go to Europe. I'll never learn to piano. I'll write a book.
The last thing I hear is a