I feel the motion of the car I open my eyes. The air is blue-black, brown-black, black-black. of gas, oil, animals. I'm in the trunk.
My and ankles tied. Tape over my it covers my nose but I can barely. I have been here for hours, everything's stiff and my head someone's drumming on china.
The car stops. He turns off the motor -- but there are no sounds. No people sounds. No wind. What has no wind? I turn my towards the sounds like watch radios when something terrible happens.
My are sweating. Where am I? The trunk as he lifts it up and the sun blinds me. He looks like a faceless Jesus surrounded by light. He pulls me out of the trunk and bangs my against the door. I try to cry out, but it like a hum.
He drags me, half-standing, a dirt road into a house. I see any other houses and it looks like a farm. The screen door bangs behind me and I a deep, deep pressure inside. All the rules have here.
I'm down a hall like a bag and I look for a phone, other doors. Nothing but bare floors and brown in small rooms. He pulls me the bathroom and I almost crack my head as he pushes me the floor. his head to the side and gazes at me as if I was a pet walks out.
I'm lying for a long time, trying to get the tape off of me. My eyes are tearing. I don't a sound. I can't get up and I keep rolling from side to side, trying not to noise.
I've got to get him to to me. If I can get thing off my face I can talk to him. I'll him my name. Have you killed other in here? I'm thinking got hundreds of them nailed down, hung on walls, hanging from ceiling swinging dead in wind.
Why did you me? If I had stayed to at the library I would been there twenty minutes longer maybe I'd have OK. Would have rushed into the house, piled up in my arms like a baby, and blurted why I was sorry. So sorry I'm everyone.
you have waited for me anyway? Would you have picked another Would I have read her in the paper and said oh my god, I was that night... and all my friends in a panic. Telling them how much I loved them as if I'd never the chance again.
I wonder what everyone is doing now. up signs. Showing my on the evening news. Calling old friends. Maybe I'm not even missing yet.
The family fall apart and my parents will go crazy. Slowly. My brother will be so quiet at the funeral and insist the be closed. (I never told anyone what kind of funeral I wanted when I died.)
Maybe years from now they'll my skeleton on the floor here and they'll have to use dental records to me. My family will say "At least we now. We hoped she was alive somewhere. We just hope in peace."
When I sleep my dreams are -- I'm flying over fields. I think I sleep for more than twenty minutes and when I wake up, it feels like I'm a heavy blanket. I'm still here.
As I wake up I hear a dog barking in the and I think I'm in my parents' house in Carolina. When I my eyes, there's a shotgun pressed between them. never get married. I'll have kids. never go to Europe. I'll never learn to piano. I'll write a book.
The thing I hear is a click