I feel the of the car before I open my eyes. The air is blue-black, brown-black, black-black. of gas, oil, animals. I'm in the trunk.
My and ankles tied. over my mouth it covers my nose but I can barely. I must been here for hours, everything's and my head throbs someone's drumming on china.
The car stops. He turns off the motor -- but are no traffic sounds. No sounds. No wind. What place has no wind? I turn my head the sounds like people watch radios when something happens.
My are sweating. Where am I? The trunk as he lifts it up and the sun blinds me. He almost looks like a Jesus surrounded by light. He me out of the trunk and bangs my head against the door. I try to cry out, but it like a hum.
He drags me, half-standing, a dirt road into a house. I can't see any other houses and it looks a farm. The screen door bangs me and I feel a deep, deep pressure inside. All the rules changed here.
I'm dragged a hall like a bag and I look for a phone, other doors. Nothing but bare floors and boxes in small rooms. He me into the bathroom and I almost crack my head as he pushes me the floor. his head to the side and gazes at me as if I was a pet walks out.
I'm there for a long time, trying to get the tape off of me. My eyes are tearing. I don't a sound. I can't get up and I rolling from side to side, trying not to make noise.
I've got to get him to to me. If I can get this off my face I can talk to him. I'll him my name. Have you killed other women in I'm thinking you've got hundreds of them down, hung on walls, hanging from fans swinging in summer wind.
Why did you me? If I had to finish at the library I would have there twenty minutes longer maybe I'd have OK. have rushed into the house, books piled up in my arms like a baby, and blurted why I was sorry. So sorry I'm everyone.
Would you waited for me anyway? Would you have another woman? I have read about her in the paper and said oh my god, I was there night... and all my friends in a panic. Telling them then how I loved them as if I'd never have the again.
I wonder everyone is doing now. Putting up signs. my picture on the evening news. Calling old friends. Maybe I'm not even missing yet.
The family will fall apart and my parents go crazy. Slowly. My brother will be so quiet at the and insist the casket be closed. (I never even told anyone what kind of funeral I when I died.)
Maybe years from now find my skeleton on the here and they'll have to use dental records to identify me. My will say "At least we know now. We always she was alive somewhere. We just hope in peace."
When I sleep my dreams are crazy -- I'm flying fields. I don't think I sleep for more than twenty minutes and I wake up, it feels I'm under a heavy blanket. I'm still here.
As I wake up I hear a dog in the distance and I think I'm in my house in South Carolina. When I open my eyes, a shotgun pressed between them. I'll get married. I'll have kids. never go to Europe. I'll learn to play piano. I'll write a book.
The last thing I hear is a