I feel the of the car before I open my eyes. The air is blue-black, brown-black, black-black. of gas, oil, animals. I'm in the trunk.
My wrists and tied. Tape my mouth it almost my nose but I can barely. I must been here for hours, everything's and my head throbs like someone's on china.
The car stops. He turns off the motor -- but are no traffic sounds. No sounds. No wind. What place has no wind? I turn my head the sounds like people radios when something terrible happens.
My are sweating. Where am I? The trunk as he lifts it up and the sun blinds me. He almost like a faceless Jesus surrounded by light. He me out of the trunk and bangs my head against the door. I try to cry out, but it like a hum.
He drags me, half-standing, along a road into a house. I can't see any houses and it looks like a farm. The screen door bangs behind me and I feel a deep, pressure inside. All the have changed here.
I'm dragged a hall like a bag and I look for a phone, other doors. Nothing but bare floors and brown in small rooms. He me into the bathroom and I almost my head as he pushes me onto the floor. his head to the side and gazes at me as if I was a pet walks out.
I'm lying for a long time, trying to get the tape off of me. My eyes are tearing. I make a sound. I can't get up and I keep rolling from to side, trying not to make noise.
I've got to get him to to me. If I can get this thing off my I can talk to him. I'll him my name. Have you killed other women in I'm thinking you've got hundreds of them down, hung on walls, hanging from fans swinging in summer wind.
Why did you me? If I had stayed to finish at the I would have been there twenty minutes maybe I'd have OK. Would have rushed into the house, piled up in my arms like a baby, and explanations why I was sorry. So sorry I'm everyone.
Would you have waited for me Would you have another woman? Would I have read about her in the and said oh my god, I was there night... and called all my in a panic. Telling them then how much I them as if I'd never have the again.
I what everyone is doing now. Putting up signs. Showing my picture on the evening news. old friends. I'm not even considered missing yet.
The family will fall apart and my parents go crazy. Slowly. My brother will be so quiet at the funeral and the casket be closed. (I never even told anyone kind of funeral I wanted when I died.)
Maybe years now they'll find my skeleton on the floor and they'll have to use dental records to identify me. My family will say "At we know now. We always she was alive somewhere. We just she's in peace."
When I sleep my dreams are crazy -- I'm over fields. I don't think I sleep for more than minutes and when I wake up, it feels I'm under a heavy blanket. I'm still here.
As I up I hear a dog barking in the distance and I think I'm in my parents' house in Carolina. I open my eyes, there's a shotgun pressed between them. I'll get married. I'll never kids. I'll go to Europe. never learn to play piano. I'll write a book.
The last thing I is a click