Vaporub

Kept my heart locked away
I kept it far away from me
Found a place down by the river where nobody goes
Buried far beneath the levee

Places where I used to go
When it rained, my heart went deeper so
Deep blue underneath the sea
Washed away for no one to see me

I don't have the feelings I'm supposed to know
And I don't get the feeling that you understand
Only get the feeling that you're feeling sorry for me
That's never been the point of what I've said

Never really knew what love was
Mixed it up with other thoughts
And growing up alone doesn't help one sort it out
Even when you're here, you're not no

Never learned to trust another person
Never knew a person who understand my words
Why I chose to share them, I will never know, but knowing
No one took the time to understand me

Do I want forgiveness or the thrill of maybe knowing
I could change direction, never caring where I'm going
Sometimes all the time it takes to make your destination
Isn't charted out as clearly as it seems

Now the smell of vaporub comes over me
And all the shame of weakness builds again
Rules and expectations I can't follow any more
I became the person that I am

Wouldn't want to make you think
You haven't found a way to me
It's only that it's not
As simple as it seems to be