Me and my buddy got us a hair And figured we to go somewhere So we up in my ragtop Chevrolet We had a bit of money and a whole lot of show And with Hank Junior on the radio We got a tank of gas and we was on our way
We figured go down to New Orleans We were down old 17 When a man with a red light was on our tail He said, "You were 60 in a 45 But I'm gonna let you go time But if I catch you again, I'm slap you in the county jail"
We said, "Thank you sir, you sure been And you gonna have to tell us twice" And we were Southbound and down with the wind in our faces We on rolling and pretty soon The radio was cooking out a tune And we were into Houston and checking out all the places
I was dry and I said, "I think We ought to and get ourselves a drink" Old Jim said, "Yeah we got time to kill" We kept on rolling and I this spot We pulled into the lot Of this called, 'The Cloud Nine Bar and Grill'
We walked the door and the place was jammed The lights were low, they had a punk band And some orange feller singing about suicide I said, "Jim, ain't our kind of place He said, "Well, let's just one round anyway" So against my better we walked on inside
up to the bar and we sat down This walked up and said, "I'll buy this round" And he sat down on the next to Jim He looked a girl but he talked like a guy He had lipstick on and mascara in his And everybody in that looked just about like him
I said, "Jim, this ain't our of bar just go on out and get back in the car 'Cause there's gonna be trouble, no sense in taking a chance" We was getting up, getting to leave When somebody old Jim by the sleeve And good looking girl, she was asking my buddy to dance
I said, "Jim, don't do it, something missing There's fellers and fellers kissing There's a feller in high heeled shoes wearing hose" He said, "Partner, I just can't this down You go over there and have one more round dance with the lady and we'll get on down the road"
So he walked away and me alone But this looking feller kept coming on And he was me mad with some of the things he said Then he put his on my knee I said, "If you get your paw off me I'm gonna locate your around the other side of your head"
He said, "I love it when you get that fire in eye I said, "Well, try this on for size" And I unloaded on him and he went out like a Everybody in place must have been his friend all headed for me, I said, "This is the end" But where I come from, we don't up without a fight
They screaming and yelling and scratching and clawing I was punching and and kicking and pawing I was holding my own, 'cause been in a scrap or two Old Jim come running up out of the And gal he was with, come running up too And proceeded to beat on me a high heel shoe
I her by the hair it came off in my hand And that beautiful girl was just a man And old Jim just got sick right there on the He dropped that dude like a shot a gun Smeared his lipstick, made his run And me and old Jim fighting our way to the door
Man, we lit out of in that Chevrolet I put in on the floor and it that way We was going' down the highway doing a hundred and ten We were headed for and we was getting nearer Then a red light on the rear view mirror And same blame cop was pulling us over again
Now I'm sitting' here in county jail I had to call my Daddy to go our But I learned me a lesson that I will forget again I've done up drinking', I've give up bars And running the country in souped up cars I'm going where the women are women and the men are men