Me and my buddy got us a hair And figured we to go somewhere So we up in my ragtop Chevrolet We had a bit of money and a whole lot of show And Hank Junior blaring on the radio We got a full of gas and we was on our way
We figured we'd go to New Orleans We barrelling' down old 17 a man with a blinking red light was on our tail He said, "You were 60 in a 45 But I'm let you go this time But if I catch you again, I'm gonna you in the county jail"
We said, "Thank you sir, you sure nice And you gonna have to tell us twice" And we were Southbound and down with the wind in our faces We on rolling and pretty soon The radio was cooking out a haggard And we were pulling into and checking out all the places
I was dry and I said, "I think We ought to stop and get a drink" Old Jim said, "Yeah 'cause we got to kill" We kept on rolling and I this spot We pulled into the lot Of this place called, 'The Nine Bar and Grill'
We walked through the and the place was jammed The lights were low, they had a punk band And some orange haired feller about suicide I said, "Jim, this ain't our kind of He said, "Well, let's just one round anyway" So against my better judgment we walked on
Went up to the bar and we sat This walked up and said, "I'll buy this round" And he sat down on the next to Jim He looked like a girl but he like a guy He had on and mascara in his eyes And everybody in that place looked just like him
I said, "Jim, this our kind of bar just go on out and get back in the car 'Cause gonna be trouble, ain't no sense in taking a chance" We was getting up, getting to leave When grabbed old Jim by the sleeve And this good looking girl, she was asking my buddy to
I said, "Jim, do it, there's something missing There's fellers dancing and kissing There's a feller in high heeled shoes panty hose" He said, "Partner, I just can't turn down You just go over there and have one round I'll dance with the and we'll get on down the road"
So he walked away and me alone But this looking feller kept coming on And he was making me mad some of the things he said Then he put his on my knee I said, "If you don't get paw off me I'm gonna your nose around the other side of your head"
He said, "I love it you get that fire in your eye I said, "Well, try this on for size" And I unloaded on him and he went out like a Everybody in that place must have his friend all headed for me, I said, "This is the end" But where I come from, we don't give up a fight
They screaming and yelling and scratching and clawing I was punching and hitting and and pawing I was holding my own, I've been in a scrap or two Old Jim running up out of the blue And that gal he was with, running up too And proceeded to beat on me with a heel shoe
I grabbed her by the hair it came off in my And that beautiful was just a beautiful man And old Jim got sick right there on the floor He dropped that dude like a from a gun his lipstick, made his makeup run And me and old Jim started our way to the door
Man, we lit out of there in that I put in on the and it stayed that way We was going' down the highway about a hundred and ten We were headed for and we was getting nearer a red light came on the rear view mirror And that same blame cop was pulling us over
Now I'm sitting' in this county jail I had to my Daddy to go our bail But I learned me a lesson I never will forget again done give up drinking', I've give up bars And running the country in souped up cars I'm going back the women are women and the men are men