Seven in the evening somethin' stupid on TV I'm out on the sofa my wife comes in the room and sees me
And she says, Is this 'Behind the Lynyrd Skynyrd?" And I say, "I don't know, say, gettin' late What cha wanna do for
She says, "I kinda had a big So I'm not hungry" I said, "Well you know, I'm not starvin' either but I eat"
She said, "So do you have in mind?" I said, "I know, what about you?" She says, "I don't care, if hungry let's eat" I said, "That's what we're do!"
"But first you gotta me What it is you're for!" And she says, "Let me left in our refrigerator?"
I said, "Well, tuna, I know" She said, "That went bad a ago!" I said, "Is the okay?" She said, "You that yesterday!"
I hopped up and I said, "I know Do you want to get delivered?" like, "Why would I want to eat liver? I even like liver!"
I'm like, "No, I 'delivered' " She's like, "I you say liver!" I'm like, "I should what I said" She's like, "Whatever, I just want any liver!"
Well, I was gonna say But my cell started to ring Now who be callin' me? Well I checked my ID
It was just cousin Larry For the third time My said, "Let it go to voicemail" I said, "Okay"
"Where we? Oh, dinner, right So do you wanna do?" She said, "Why don't you up somethin in the kitchen?" "Yeah?" I said, "Why you?"
And she says "Baby, can't we go out to dinner, please?" I says no, she says yes, I no, she says yes I says no, she says yes, oh, your keys"
I a little bit closer Say, "Okay, ya wanna go?" She says, "How The Ivy?" I said, "Yeah, I don't know"
I feel like, gettin all dressed up And eatin' expensive says, "Olive Garden?" I say, "Nah, I'm not in the
And Burrito would make me gassy no doubt" She says, "Just about it" I said, "No, I swear I'm take you out!"
Then I get an I say, "I know what do!" She says, "What?" I say, "Guess" She says, "What?" I say, "We're to the drive-thru!"
So we head out the front Open the door Then I open the car And we get in those car
Put my key in the And I turn it sideways Then we our seat belts As we out the driveway
Then we drive to the Heading off to the approaching the drive-thru Getting to the drive-thru
there at the drive-thru Now here at the drive thru Here in at the drive-thru Did I the drive-thru?
Well, we are in the drive-thru line Me and her Cars in front of us, cars in of us All just to order
There's some idiot in a With his on behind me I lean out the window and "Hey, what cha to do, blind me?"
My wife says, "Maybe we should We just go eat inside" I said, "I'm wearin' bunny So I ain't this ride"
Now a on a speaker box Is sayin', "Can I your order, please?" I said, "Yes indeed, you can We'd two hamburgers with onions and cheese"
my wife says "Baby, hold on, changed my mind! I think I'm have a chicken sandwich this time"
I said, "You get a cheeseburger!" She says, "That's not I'm hungry for" I put my head in my and scream "I know who you are anymore!"
The voice on the speaker "I don't all day!" I said, "Then our order And be on our way!
"I wanna get a sandwich And I a cheeseburger too" like, "You want onions on that?" I'm like, "Yeah, I already said I do
Plus we curly fries And you dare forget it And two medium beers No, just one, we'll it"
I said, "I'm guessin' that You're not too bright So me back my order Let's make you got it right"
She says, "One, you want a sandwich Two, you a cheeseburger Three, curly fries and a root beer" "Stop, go no further!"
"I ordered a large root beer I medium, not large!" Then she says, "We're havin' a I you at no charge"
"Oh" And all I could say was "oh" And she says, "Now somethin' else That I really think you know
You can have refills For just a more" I say, "Great, we're in the drive-thru So what would I that for?"
Then she says, "Wait a Your sounds so familiar, hey, is this Paul? And my wife is all like, "No, ain't Paul Now me, who's this Paul?
She says, "Oh, he's some guy Who goes to school me I sat him last year And I copied off of him in
I said, "I know a guy named He to be my plumber He was prematurely And he moved to last summer
He also had bladder And a bad infection on his toe" And she says, "Mister, please, you can right there That's way more than I to know!"
And we both were quiet And things got real And then she says, "Next please, be five dollars and eighty two cents"
So we ahead in line Movin' painfully I got a little So I turned on the
Click, it off Because my wife was getting a So we both just sat quietly For her
Then I at her And she looked at me And I said, "Um I think you have somethin' in teeth"
She away from me And turned back and said, "Did I get it?" I said, "Yeah, well, I mean, of it But hey, ya know, don't it"
she said, "How about now?" I said, "Yeah, There's still a little bit there but worry It's probably just a of toast"
Now we're at the pay Or whatever you it Put my in my pocket I can't believe no wallet!
And the lady at the window's "Well well well, be five eighty-two" I turn to my wife and say "How have you got on you?"
She rolls her eyes and says "I'll pay for I guess" So she reaches her purse And out the American Express
I hand it to the And she says, "Oh It's be cash only We don't take cards here"
I took the card and said "Gee, really? Well sucks!" And when I found out My wife was only carryin' bucks
I said, "I thought you to hit the ATM today" She says, "I got around to it So where's wallet anyway?
And I said, "Nevermind Just me to find some change" Now the at the window Is at me kinda strange
And she says, "Mister, We gotta move line along" I said, "Now hold your stinkin' horses We be long"
So I looked inside the glove box And the mat beneath my feet I found a nickel in an And a couple and a dime in the space between the seats
Before I had a little pile Of coins of every The lady it up and says "You're still about a short"
And now my woman's got this weird Frozen on her She screams, "You I wasn't really hungry in the first place"
And so I turned To the cashier I and said, "Okay the chicken sandwich then"
So I pick up my Pick up my And I drive to the pickup Man, I can't wait to eat
And now we see this ridden Kid about Wearin' a dorky that says "Hello, my is Eugene"
And he me a paper bag I him in the eyes And I say to him "Hey, Could I get ketchup for my fries?"
he looks at me And I at him And he at me And I at him
And he at me And I at him And he says, "I'm What did you again?"
I say, "Ketchup!" And he says, "Oh yeah, that's I spaced out there for a second I'm kind of burnt tonight"
And then he me the ketchup And then we're drivin' away And the is drivin' me mad With its intoxicating
I'm starvin' to By the time we up at the traffic light I say, "Baby, gimme that I gotta have a bite!"
So she in the bag And pulls out the And she me the burger And I up the burger
And then I the paper I into those buns And I just can't it They the onions!