Seven in the evening somethin' stupid on TV I'm zoned out on the When my wife in the room and sees me
And she says, Is this the Music' Lynyrd Skynyrd?" And I say, "I know, say, it's gettin' late What cha wanna do for
She says, "I had a big lunch So I'm not hungry" I said, "Well you know, I'm not starvin' either but I eat"
She said, "So what do you in mind?" I said, "I don't know, about you?" She says, "I don't care, if you're let's eat" I said, "That's what gonna do!"
"But first you tell me What it is hungry for!" And she says, "Let me left in our refrigerator?"
I said, "Well, tuna, I know" She said, "That went bad a ago!" I said, "Is the okay?" She said, "You that yesterday!"
I up and I said, "I don't know Do you want to get delivered?" She's like, "Why would I to eat liver? I don't even liver!"
I'm like, "No, I said " She's like, "I you say liver!" I'm like, "I should know I said" She's like, "Whatever, I just don't any liver!"
Well, I was say something But my cell started to ring Now who be callin' me? Well I my caller ID
It was just cousin Larry For the third today My said, "Let it go to voicemail" I said, "Okay"
"Where we? Oh, dinner, right So do you wanna do?" She said, "Why don't you whip up in the kitchen?" "Yeah?" I said, "Why you?"
And then she "Baby, can't we go out to dinner, please?" I says no, she says yes, I says no, she yes I no, she says yes, oh, here's your keys"
I step a bit closer Say, "Okay, where ya go?" She says, "How The Ivy?" I said, "Yeah, I don't know"
I don't feel like, gettin all up And eatin' expensive says, "Olive Garden?" I say, "Nah, I'm not in the
And Burrito King make me gassy no doubt" She says, "Just about it" I said, "No, I swear I'm take you out!"
I get an idea I say, "I know what do!" She says, "What?" I say, "Guess" She says, "What?" I say, "We're to the drive-thru!"
So we head out the front Open the garage Then I open the car And we get in car doors
Put my key in the And then I turn it Then we fasten our belts As we pull out the
we drive to the drive-thru Heading off to the We're the drive-thru Getting to the drive-thru
there at the drive-thru Now we're here at the thru Here in at the drive-thru Did I mention the
Well, here we are in the line Me and her in front of us, cars in back of us All just waiting to
There's some idiot in a his brights on behind me I lean out the and scream "Hey, what cha to do, blind me?"
My says, "Maybe we should park We could go eat inside" I said, "I'm wearin' bunny So I ain't leavin' ride"
Now a woman on a box Is sayin', "Can I your order, please?" I said, "Yes indeed, you can We'd like two hamburgers with and cheese"
Then my says "Baby, on, I've changed my mind! I think I'm have a chicken sandwich Instead time"
I said, "You get a cheeseburger!" She says, "That's not I'm hungry for" I put my in my hands and scream "I don't who you are anymore!"
The on the speaker says "I have all day!" I said, "Then our order And be on our way!
"I wanna get a sandwich And I a cheeseburger too" She's like, "You want on that?" I'm like, "Yeah, I already that I do
Plus we need fries And you dare forget it And two medium beers No, just one, split it"
Then I said, "I'm that You're not too bright So me back my order Let's make you got it right"
She says, "One, you a chicken sandwich Two, you a cheeseburger Three, curly fries and a root beer" "Stop, go no further!"
"I never ordered a large beer I medium, not large!" she says, "We're havin' a special I you at no charge"
"Oh" And that's all I say was "oh" And she says, "Now theres else I really think you should know
You can unlimited refills For a quarter more" I say, "Great, except in the drive-thru So what would I want for?"
Then she says, "Wait a Your voice so familiar, hey, is this Paul? And my wife is all like, "No, that ain't Now me, who's this Paul?
She says, "Oh, he's some guy Who to school with me I sat him last year And I off of him in Geometry
I said, "I a guy named Paul He to be my plumber He was bald And he moved to Pittsburgh summer
He also had bladder And a bad infection on his toe" And she says, "Mister, please, you can stop there That's way than I needed to know!"
And then we both were And things got real And then she says, "Next please, That'll be five and eighty two cents"
So we inched ahead in Movin' slow I got a little So I turned on the
Click, it off Because my wife was getting a So we just sat there quietly For her
Then I at her And she looked at me And I said, "Um I think you have in your teeth"
She turned from me And then turned and said, "Did I get it?" I said, "Yeah, well, I mean, of it But hey, ya know, sweat it"
she said, "How about now?" I said, "Yeah, There's a little bit there but don't worry It's just a piece of toast"
Now at the pay window Or you call it Put my hand in my I believe there's no wallet!
And the lady at the window's "Well well well, be five eighty-two" I around to my wife and say "How have you got on you?"
She just rolls her and says "I'll pay for I guess" So she into her purse And busts out the American
I it to the lady And she says, "Oh gotta be cash only We don't credit cards here"
I back the card and said "Gee, really? that sucks!" And that's I found out My wife was only carryin' three
I said, "I thought you to hit the ATM today" She says, "I got around to it So where's wallet anyway?
And I said, "Nevermind help me to find some change" Now the lady at the Is at me kinda strange
And she says, "Mister, We move this line along" I said, "Now hold your stinkin' horses We be long"
So I around inside the glove box And the mat beneath my feet I found a in an ashtray And a couple pennies and a in the space between the seats
Before long I had a pile Of of every sort The counts it up and says "You're about a dollar short"
And now my woman's got weird look on her face She screams, "You I wasn't even hungry in the first place"
And so I turned To the cashier I and said, "Okay Forget the chicken then"
So I pick up my up my receipt And I drive to the window Man, I can't wait to eat
And now we see this ridden Kid sixteen Wearin' a nametag that says "Hello, my is Eugene"
And he me a paper bag I him in the eyes And I say to him "Hey, I get some ketchup for my fries?"
Well he at me And I at him And he at me And I at him
And he at me And I at him And he says, "I'm What did you again?"
I say, "Ketchup!" And he says, "Oh yeah, that's I spaced out there for a second I'm kind of burnt tonight"
And he hands me the ketchup And then we're drivin' away And the is drivin' me mad With its bouquet
I'm starvin' to By the time we pull up at the traffic I say, "Baby, gimme burger I gotta have a bite!"
So she in the bag And out the burger And she hands me the And I up the burger
And then I the paper I bite into buns And I just can't it forgot the onions!