Seven o'clock in the somethin' stupid on TV I'm out on the sofa When my wife in the room and sees me
And she says, Is this the Music' Lynyrd Skynyrd?" And I say, "I don't know, say, it's gettin' cha wanna do for dinner?
She says, "I had a big lunch So I'm not hungry" I said, "Well you know, I'm not either but I could eat"
She said, "So what do you in mind?" I said, "I don't know, about you?" She says, "I don't care, if you're let's eat" I said, "That's what we're do!"
"But first you gotta me it is you're hungry for!" And she says, "Let me What's in our refrigerator?"
I said, "Well, tuna, I know" She said, "That bad a week ago!" I said, "Is the okay?" She said, "You finished yesterday!"
I hopped up and I said, "I know Do you to get something delivered?" She's like, "Why would I to eat liver? I don't like liver!"
I'm like, "No, I 'delivered' " like, "I heard you say liver!" I'm like, "I should know I said" She's like, "Whatever, I just want any liver!"
Well, I was gonna say But my phone started to ring Now who could be me? Well I my caller ID
It was just cousin Larry For the third today My said, "Let it go to voicemail" I said, "Okay"
"Where were we? Oh, dinner, So do you wanna do?" She said, "Why don't you up somethin in the kitchen?" "Yeah?" I said, "Why you?"
And she says "Baby, we just go out to dinner, please?" I says no, she yes, I says no, she says yes I no, she says yes, oh, here's your keys"
I a little bit closer Say, "Okay, where ya go?" She says, "How The Ivy?" I said, "Yeah, well I know"
I don't like, gettin all dressed up And expensive food says, "Olive Garden?" I say, "Nah, I'm not in the
And Burrito King make me gassy no doubt" She says, "Just forget it" I said, "No, I swear I'm take you out!"
Then I get an I say, "I know what do!" She says, "What?" I say, "Guess" She says, "What?" I say, "We're to the drive-thru!"
So we head out the door the garage door Then I open the car And we get in those car
Put my key in the And then I it sideways we fasten our seat belts As we pull out the
Then we to the drive-thru off to the drive-thru We're approaching the close to the drive-thru
Almost there at the Now we're here at the drive Here in line at the Did I the drive-thru?
Well, here we are in the line Me and her Cars in front of us, in back of us All just to order
There's some idiot in a With his on behind me I lean out the and scream "Hey, cha tryin to do, blind me?"
My wife says, "Maybe we should We could go eat inside" I said, "I'm wearin' bunny So I leavin' this ride"
Now a on a speaker box Is sayin', "Can I your order, please?" I said, "Yes indeed, you can We'd two hamburgers with onions and cheese"
my wife says "Baby, on, I've changed my mind! I I'm gonna have a chicken sandwich this time"
I said, "You get a cheeseburger!" She says, "That's not I'm hungry for" I put my head in my hands and "I don't who you are anymore!"
The on the speaker says "I have all day!" I said, "Then our order And be on our way!
"I wanna get a sandwich And I want a too" She's like, "You onions on that?" I'm like, "Yeah, I already said I do
Plus we need curly And don't you forget it And two root beers No, just one, split it"
Then I said, "I'm that probably not too bright So read me my order Let's sure you got it right"
She says, "One, you want a sandwich Two, you a cheeseburger Three, curly and a large root beer" "Stop, go no further!"
"I never ordered a large beer I medium, not large!" Then she says, "We're a special I you at no charge"
"Oh" And all I could say was "oh" And she says, "Now theres else I really think you should know
You can have unlimited For just a more" I say, "Great, except we're in the So would I want that for?"
Then she says, "Wait a Your voice so familiar, hey, is this Paul? And my wife is all like, "No, that Paul Now me, who's this Paul?
She says, "Oh, he's just guy Who to school with me I sat behind him year And I off of him in Geometry
I said, "I know a guy Paul He to be my plumber He was prematurely And he moved to Pittsburgh last
He had bladder problems And a bad infection on his toe" And she says, "Mister, please, you can stop there That's way more than I to know!"
And then we both were And things got intense And she says, "Next window please, That'll be five and eighty two cents"
So we inched in line painfully slow I got a little So I turned on the
Click, it off Because my wife was getting a So we both just sat there For her
I looked at her And she looked at me And I said, "Um I think you have in your teeth"
She turned away me And turned back and said, "Did I get it?" I said, "Yeah, well, I mean, of it But hey, ya know, sweat it"
she said, "How about now?" I said, "Yeah, There's a little bit there but don't worry It's probably a piece of toast"
Now we're at the pay Or you call it Put my hand in my I can't there's no wallet!
And the lady at the window's "Well well well, be five eighty-two" I turn around to my and say "How have you got on you?"
She just her eyes and says "I'll pay for I guess" So she reaches into her And busts out the American
I it to the lady And she says, "Oh It's be cash only We take credit cards here"
I back the card and said "Gee, Well that sucks!" And that's I found out My wife was only carryin' bucks
I said, "I thought you to hit the ATM today" She says, "I never got to it So where's wallet anyway?
And I said, "Nevermind Just help me to some change" Now the lady at the Is looking at me kinda
And she says, "Mister, We gotta move line along" I said, "Now hold your horses lady We be long"
So I looked inside the glove box And checked the mat beneath my I a nickel in an ashtray And a couple pennies and a dime in the space between the
long I had a little pile Of of every sort The lady it up and says "You're about a dollar short"
And now my woman's got this look Frozen on her She screams, "You I wasn't really hungry in the first place"
And so I around To the again I and said, "Okay the chicken sandwich then"
So I up my change Pick up my And I drive to the pickup Man, I can't wait to eat
And now we see acne ridden Kid sixteen Wearin' a dorky nametag says "Hello, my is Eugene"
And he hands me a bag I him in the eyes And I say to him "Hey, Could I get ketchup for my fries?"
Well he at me And I at him And he at me And I at him
And he at me And I at him And he says, "I'm What did you again?"
I say, "Ketchup!" And he says, "Oh yeah, that's I just out there for a second I'm really of burnt tonight"
And then he me the ketchup And then we're finally drivin' And the food is me mad With its bouquet
I'm starvin' to By the we pull up at the traffic light I say, "Baby, gimme that I just gotta a bite!"
So she in the bag And out the burger And she hands me the And I pick up the
And then I the paper I bite those buns And I can't believe it forgot the onions!