Seven in the evening somethin' stupid on TV I'm zoned out on the When my wife comes in the room and me
And she says, Is this the Music' With Skynyrd?" And I say, "I don't know, say, gettin' late cha wanna do for dinner?
She says, "I had a big lunch So I'm not hungry" I said, "Well you know, I'm not starvin' either but I eat"
She said, "So what do you in mind?" I said, "I know, what about you?" She says, "I don't care, if you're hungry eat" I said, "That's we're gonna do!"
"But first you gotta me What it is hungry for!" And she says, "Let me What's in our refrigerator?"
I said, "Well, tuna, I know" She said, "That bad a week ago!" I said, "Is the okay?" She said, "You finished yesterday!"
I up and I said, "I don't know Do you to get something delivered?" She's like, "Why would I want to eat I don't even liver!"
I'm like, "No, I 'delivered' " like, "I heard you say liver!" I'm like, "I should what I said" She's like, "Whatever, I just don't any liver!"
Well, I was gonna say But my cell phone started to Now who could be me? Well I checked my ID
It was just cousin callin' For the time today My said, "Let it go to voicemail" I said, "Okay"
"Where we? Oh, dinner, right So do you wanna do?" She said, "Why don't you up somethin in the kitchen?" "Yeah?" I said, "Why you?"
And then she "Baby, can't we go out to dinner, please?" I no, she says yes, I says no, she says yes I no, she says yes, oh, here's your keys"
I a little bit closer Say, "Okay, where ya go?" She says, "How The Ivy?" I said, "Yeah, I don't know"
I don't feel like, all dressed up And eatin' food says, "Olive Garden?" I say, "Nah, I'm not in the
And King would make me gassy no doubt" She says, "Just forget it" I said, "No, I swear I'm take you out!"
I get an idea I say, "I know we'll do!" She says, "What?" I say, "Guess" She says, "What?" I say, "We're to the drive-thru!"
So we out the front door Open the door Then I open the car And we get in those car
Put my key in the And then I it sideways Then we our seat belts As we out the driveway
Then we to the drive-thru off to the drive-thru We're approaching the Getting to the drive-thru
Almost at the drive-thru Now we're at the drive thru Here in line at the Did I the drive-thru?
Well, here we are in the drive-thru Me and her in front of us, cars in back of us All waiting to order
some idiot in a Volvo With his brights on me I lean out the and scream "Hey, what cha to do, blind me?"
My wife says, "Maybe we park We just go eat inside" I said, "I'm wearin' slippers So I ain't leavin' ride"
Now a woman on a box Is sayin', "Can I take order, please?" I said, "Yes indeed, you can like two hamburgers with onions and cheese"
Then my wife "Baby, on, I've changed my mind! I think I'm gonna have a sandwich this time"
I said, "You get a cheeseburger!" She says, "That's not what I'm for" I put my head in my hands and "I know who you are anymore!"
The voice on the speaker "I have all day!" I said, "Then take our And be on our way!
"I get a chicken sandwich And I want a too" like, "You want onions on that?" I'm like, "Yeah, I already that I do
we need curly fries And don't you dare it And two root beers No, just one, we'll it"
Then I said, "I'm guessin' probably not too bright So read me my order make sure you got it right"
She says, "One, you want a sandwich Two, you a cheeseburger Three, fries and a large root beer" "Stop, go no further!"
"I never ordered a large beer I medium, not large!" Then she says, "We're a special I you at no charge"
"Oh" And all I could say was "oh" And she says, "Now somethin' else That I think you should know
You can have refills For a quarter more" I say, "Great, except we're in the So would I want that for?"
Then she says, "Wait a voice sounds so familiar, hey, is this Paul? And my is all like, "No, that ain't Paul Now tell me, who's this
She says, "Oh, he's just guy Who goes to school me I sat behind him year And I off of him in Geometry
I said, "I know a guy Paul He used to be my He was prematurely And he moved to Pittsburgh last
He also had problems And a really bad on his toe" And she says, "Mister, please, you can stop there way more than I needed to know!"
And we both were quiet And things got intense And then she says, "Next please, That'll be dollars and eighty two cents"
So we inched ahead in Movin' slow I got a little So I on the radio
Click, it off Because my wife was a headache So we both sat there quietly For her
Then I at her And she back at me And I said, "Um I think you have in your teeth"
She away from me And turned back and said, "Did I get it?" I said, "Yeah, well, I mean, of it But hey, ya know, sweat it"
Then she said, "How now?" I said, "Yeah, still a little bit there but don't worry It's probably just a of toast"
Now we're at the pay Or you call it Put my in my pocket I believe there's no wallet!
And the lady at the window's "Well well well, that'll be eighty-two" I turn around to my and say "How much you got on you?"
She just her eyes and says "I'll pay for I guess" So she reaches her purse And out the American Express
I hand it to the And she says, "Oh It's be cash only We don't take credit here"
I took the card and said "Gee, really? Well sucks!" And when I found out My wife was only three bucks
I said, "I thought you to hit the ATM today" She says, "I got around to it So your wallet anyway?
And I said, "Nevermind Just me to find some change" Now the at the window Is looking at me kinda
And she says, "Mister, We gotta this line along" I said, "Now hold your stinkin' horses We be long"
So I looked around inside the box And checked the mat beneath my I found a in an ashtray And a couple pennies and a dime in the space the seats
Before long I had a little Of of every sort The lady counts it up and "You're about a dollar short"
And now my got this weird look on her face She screams, "You I wasn't really hungry in the first place"
And so I turned To the again I and said, "Okay the chicken sandwich then"
So I pick up my Pick up my And I drive to the window Man, I just can't to eat
And now we see acne ridden Kid sixteen Wearin' a dorky nametag says "Hello, my is Eugene"
And he me a paper bag I look him in the And I say to him "Hey, Could I get some for my fries?"
he looks at me And I at him And he at me And I at him
And he at me And I at him And he says, "I'm did you want again?"
I say, "Ketchup!" And he says, "Oh yeah, right I just spaced out there for a I'm really kind of tonight"
And then he me the ketchup And then we're drivin' away And the is drivin' me mad With its intoxicating
I'm to death By the we pull up at the traffic light I say, "Baby, that burger I just gotta a bite!"
So she in the bag And pulls out the And she me the burger And I pick up the
And then I unwrap the I bite into those And I just believe it They the onions!