Seven o'clock in the somethin' stupid on TV I'm out on the sofa When my wife in the room and sees me
And she says, Is 'Behind the Music' With Skynyrd?" And I say, "I don't know, say, it's late cha wanna do for dinner?
She says, "I had a big lunch So I'm not hungry" I said, "Well you know, I'm not starvin' but I could eat"
She said, "So do you have in mind?" I said, "I don't know, what you?" She says, "I care, if you're hungry let's eat" I said, "That's we're gonna do!"
"But first you gotta me What it is hungry for!" And she says, "Let me What's in our refrigerator?"
I said, "Well, tuna, I know" She said, "That went bad a ago!" I said, "Is the okay?" She said, "You that yesterday!"
I hopped up and I said, "I know Do you want to get delivered?" She's like, "Why would I want to eat I don't like liver!"
I'm like, "No, I 'delivered' " like, "I heard you say liver!" I'm like, "I should know I said" She's like, "Whatever, I just don't any liver!"
Well, I was say something But my cell started to ring Now who be callin' me? I checked my caller ID
It was just cousin Larry For the time today My said, "Let it go to voicemail" I said, "Okay"
"Where we? Oh, dinner, right So do you wanna do?" She said, "Why don't you whip up in the kitchen?" "Yeah?" I said, "Why you?"
And she says "Baby, can't we go out to dinner, please?" I says no, she yes, I says no, she says yes I no, she says yes, oh, here's your keys"
I step a little bit Say, "Okay, ya wanna go?" She says, "How The Ivy?" I said, "Yeah, well I know"
I don't feel like, all dressed up And expensive food says, "Olive Garden?" I say, "Nah, I'm not in the
And Burrito would make me gassy no doubt" She says, "Just about it" I said, "No, I I'm gonna take you out!"
Then I get an I say, "I what we'll do!" She says, "What?" I say, "Guess" She says, "What?" I say, "We're to the drive-thru!"
So we head out the front the garage door Then I open the car And we get in car doors
Put my key in the And then I turn it Then we our seat belts As we pull out the
Then we to the drive-thru Heading off to the We're approaching the Getting to the drive-thru
there at the drive-thru Now we're at the drive thru in line at the drive-thru Did I the drive-thru?
Well, we are in the drive-thru line Me and her Cars in front of us, cars in of us All just to order
There's some in a Volvo With his on behind me I lean out the and scream "Hey, cha tryin to do, blind me?"
My wife says, "Maybe we park We could go eat inside" I said, "I'm wearin' slippers So I ain't leavin' ride"
Now a on a speaker box Is sayin', "Can I take order, please?" I said, "Yes indeed, you can like two hamburgers with onions and cheese"
Then my says "Baby, on, I've changed my mind! I I'm gonna have a chicken sandwich Instead time"
I said, "You get a cheeseburger!" She says, "That's not what I'm for" I put my in my hands and scream "I know who you are anymore!"
The on the speaker says "I don't all day!" I said, "Then take our And be on our way!
"I wanna get a sandwich And I a cheeseburger too" like, "You want onions on that?" I'm like, "Yeah, I already that I do
Plus we curly fries And you dare forget it And two medium beers No, just one, we'll it"
Then I said, "I'm guessin' probably not too bright So read me my order make sure you got it right"
She says, "One, you a chicken sandwich Two, you a cheeseburger Three, curly and a large root beer" "Stop, go no further!"
"I never ordered a large beer I medium, not large!" Then she says, "We're havin' a I you at no charge"
"Oh" And that's all I say was "oh" And she says, "Now theres somethin' I really think you should know
You can have unlimited For just a more" I say, "Great, except we're in the So what I want that for?"
she says, "Wait a minute Your voice sounds so familiar, hey, is this And my wife is all like, "No, ain't Paul Now tell me, this Paul?
She says, "Oh, he's some guy Who goes to with me I sat behind him last And I off of him in Geometry
I said, "I a guy named Paul He to be my plumber He was bald And he to Pittsburgh last summer
He also had bladder And a really bad on his toe" And she says, "Mister, please, you can stop right way more than I needed to know!"
And then we both quiet And got real intense And she says, "Next window please, That'll be five and eighty two cents"
So we ahead in line Movin' painfully I got a little So I turned on the
Click, it off Because my wife was getting a So we both just sat quietly For her
Then I at her And she back at me And I said, "Um I you have somethin' in your teeth"
She turned from me And then back and said, "Did I get it?" I said, "Yeah, well, I mean, of it But hey, ya know, sweat it"
she said, "How about now?" I said, "Yeah, There's still a bit there but don't worry It's just a piece of toast"
Now we're at the pay Or you call it Put my in my pocket I believe there's no wallet!
And the at the window's like "Well well well, that'll be eighty-two" I turn around to my and say "How have you got on you?"
She just rolls her and says "I'll pay for I guess" So she into her purse And out the American Express
I hand it to the And she says, "Oh It's be cash only We don't take cards here"
I took back the and said "Gee, really? Well sucks!" And that's when I out My wife was only carryin' three
I said, "I you were to hit the ATM today" She says, "I got around to it So where's wallet anyway?
And I said, "Nevermind Just help me to some change" Now the lady at the Is looking at me kinda
And she says, "Mister, We gotta move this along" I said, "Now hold your horses lady We be long"
So I looked inside the glove box And checked the mat beneath my I found a in an ashtray And a couple and a dime in the space between the seats
long I had a little pile Of coins of sort The counts it up and says "You're about a dollar short"
And now my woman's got weird look Frozen on her She screams, "You I wasn't even hungry in the first place"
And so I turned To the again I and said, "Okay Forget the chicken then"
So I up my change up my receipt And I to the pickup window Man, I just wait to eat
And now we see this ridden Kid about Wearin' a dorky nametag that "Hello, my is Eugene"
And he hands me a bag I him in the eyes And I say to him "Hey, Could I get ketchup for my fries?"
he looks at me And I at him And he at me And I at him
And he at me And I at him And he says, "I'm did you want again?"
I say, "Ketchup!" And he says, "Oh yeah, right I spaced out there for a second I'm kind of burnt tonight"
And then he me the ketchup And then we're finally drivin' And the is drivin' me mad its intoxicating bouquet
I'm starvin' to By the we pull up at the traffic light I say, "Baby, gimme burger I gotta have a bite!"
So she in the bag And out the burger And she me the burger And I up the burger
And then I unwrap the I bite into those And I just believe it They the onions!