Seven in the evening Watchin stupid on TV I'm zoned out on the When my wife comes in the and sees me
And she says, Is this the Music' Lynyrd Skynyrd?" And I say, "I don't know, say, gettin' late What cha do for dinner?
She says, "I kinda had a big So I'm not hungry" I said, "Well you know, I'm not starvin' either but I eat"
She said, "So what do you in mind?" I said, "I don't know, what you?" She says, "I don't care, if you're let's eat" I said, "That's what gonna do!"
"But you gotta tell me What it is you're for!" And she says, "Let me left in our refrigerator?"
I said, "Well, tuna, I know" She said, "That went bad a ago!" I said, "Is the okay?" She said, "You finished yesterday!"
I up and I said, "I don't know Do you want to get delivered?" She's like, "Why I want to eat liver? I don't even liver!"
I'm like, "No, I 'delivered' " like, "I heard you say liver!" I'm like, "I should what I said" She's like, "Whatever, I just want any liver!"
Well, I was say something But my cell phone started to Now who could be me? Well I checked my ID
It was cousin Larry callin' For the third today My said, "Let it go to voicemail" I said, "Okay"
"Where were we? Oh, dinner, So do you wanna do?" She said, "Why you whip up somethin in the kitchen?" "Yeah?" I said, "Why you?"
And then she "Baby, can't we go out to dinner, please?" I says no, she says yes, I no, she says yes I says no, she says yes, oh, your keys"
I a little bit closer Say, "Okay, where ya go?" She says, "How The Ivy?" I said, "Yeah, I don't know"
I don't like, gettin all dressed up And expensive food says, "Olive Garden?" I say, "Nah, I'm not in the
And Burrito would make me gassy no doubt" She says, "Just about it" I said, "No, I swear I'm take you out!"
Then I get an I say, "I know what do!" She says, "What?" I say, "Guess" She says, "What?" I say, "We're to the drive-thru!"
So we out the front door Open the garage Then I open the car And we get in those car
Put my key in the And then I turn it we fasten our seat belts As we pull out the
we drive to the drive-thru Heading off to the We're the drive-thru Getting close to the
there at the drive-thru Now we're here at the thru Here in line at the Did I mention the
Well, here we are in the line Me and her Cars in front of us, cars in of us All just waiting to
There's idiot in a Volvo his brights on behind me I lean out the and scream "Hey, what cha tryin to do, me?"
My says, "Maybe we should park We just go eat inside" I said, "I'm wearin' slippers So I ain't leavin' ride"
Now a woman on a box Is sayin', "Can I your order, please?" I said, "Yes indeed, you can like two hamburgers with onions and cheese"
Then my says "Baby, on, I've changed my mind! I I'm gonna have a chicken sandwich Instead time"
I said, "You get a cheeseburger!" She says, "That's not what I'm for" I put my in my hands and scream "I know who you are anymore!"
The voice on the speaker "I don't all day!" I said, "Then take our And be on our way!
"I wanna get a chicken And I want a too" She's like, "You onions on that?" I'm like, "Yeah, I said that I do
Plus we need fries And don't you dare it And two medium root No, just one, we'll it"
Then I said, "I'm guessin' probably not too bright So read me my order Let's make you got it right"
She says, "One, you want a chicken Two, you a cheeseburger Three, curly fries and a root beer" "Stop, go no further!"
"I never ordered a root beer I medium, not large!" Then she says, "We're havin' a I you at no charge"
"Oh" And that's all I say was "oh" And she says, "Now theres else That I really you should know
You can unlimited refills For just a more" I say, "Great, we're in the drive-thru So would I want that for?"
she says, "Wait a minute Your voice sounds so familiar, hey, is this And my wife is all like, "No, ain't Paul Now tell me, who's Paul?
She says, "Oh, he's just guy Who goes to school me I sat him last year And I copied off of him in
I said, "I know a guy named He to be my plumber He was bald And he moved to Pittsburgh last
He also had bladder And a really bad on his toe" And she says, "Mister, please, you can stop there way more than I needed to know!"
And then we were quiet And things got intense And then she says, "Next please, That'll be five dollars and two cents"
So we inched in line Movin' painfully I got a little So I on the radio
Click, it off Because my was getting a headache So we both sat there quietly For her
I looked at her And she looked at me And I said, "Um I think you somethin' in your teeth"
She turned from me And then turned and said, "Did I get it?" I said, "Yeah, well, I mean, of it But hey, ya know, don't it"
she said, "How about now?" I said, "Yeah, There's still a bit there but don't worry It's just a piece of toast"
Now we're at the pay Or you call it Put my in my pocket I can't there's no wallet!
And the lady at the window's "Well well, that'll be five eighty-two" I turn around to my and say "How much you got on you?"
She just rolls her eyes and "I'll pay for I guess" So she into her purse And busts out the American
I hand it to the And she says, "Oh gotta be cash only We don't take cards here"
I took back the and said "Gee, really? Well sucks!" And that's when I out My was only carryin' three bucks
I said, "I you were to hit the ATM today" She says, "I got around to it So where's your anyway?
And I said, "Nevermind Just help me to some change" Now the lady at the Is looking at me strange
And she says, "Mister, We gotta this line along" I said, "Now hold stinkin' horses lady We be long"
So I looked around the glove box And the mat beneath my feet I a nickel in an ashtray And a couple pennies and a dime in the space the seats
Before long I had a pile Of of every sort The lady it up and says "You're still about a short"
And now my woman's got this look Frozen on her She screams, "You I wasn't even really hungry in the place"
And so I around To the cashier I and said, "Okay the chicken sandwich then"
So I pick up my Pick up my And I drive to the window Man, I just can't to eat
And now we see acne ridden Kid about Wearin' a dorky nametag that "Hello, my is Eugene"
And he hands me a bag I look him in the And I say to him "Hey, Could I get ketchup for my fries?"
he looks at me And I at him And he at me And I at him
And he at me And I at him And he says, "I'm What did you again?"
I say, "Ketchup!" And he says, "Oh yeah, that's I just spaced out for a second I'm really of burnt tonight"
And then he me the ketchup And then we're finally away And the is drivin' me mad With its intoxicating
I'm to death By the time we pull up at the light I say, "Baby, gimme that I just gotta a bite!"
So she in the bag And pulls out the And she hands me the And I pick up the
And then I the paper I bite those buns And I just can't it They the onions!