Seven o'clock in the Watchin somethin' on TV I'm zoned out on the When my wife comes in the and sees me
And she says, Is this 'Behind the Lynyrd Skynyrd?" And I say, "I don't know, say, it's gettin' What cha do for dinner?
She says, "I had a big lunch So I'm not hungry" I said, "Well you know, I'm not starvin' but I could eat"
She said, "So do you have in mind?" I said, "I know, what about you?" She says, "I don't care, if hungry let's eat" I said, "That's we're gonna do!"
"But first you tell me What it is hungry for!" And she says, "Let me left in our refrigerator?"
I said, "Well, tuna, I know" She said, "That went bad a ago!" I said, "Is the okay?" She said, "You finished yesterday!"
I up and I said, "I don't know Do you want to get delivered?" She's like, "Why would I want to eat I don't like liver!"
I'm like, "No, I 'delivered' " She's like, "I you say liver!" I'm like, "I should know I said" She's like, "Whatever, I don't want any liver!"
Well, I was gonna say But my cell phone started to Now who be callin' me? Well I checked my ID
It was just Larry callin' For the third time My said, "Let it go to voicemail" I said, "Okay"
"Where were we? Oh, dinner, So what do you do?" She said, "Why don't you whip up in the kitchen?" "Yeah?" I said, "Why you?"
And then she "Baby, we just go out to dinner, please?" I says no, she says yes, I no, she says yes I says no, she says yes, oh, your keys"
I step a bit closer Say, "Okay, ya wanna go?" She says, "How The Ivy?" I said, "Yeah, well I know"
I don't feel like, all dressed up And eatin' expensive says, "Olive Garden?" I say, "Nah, I'm not in the
And Burrito King make me gassy no doubt" She says, "Just about it" I said, "No, I swear I'm take you out!"
Then I get an I say, "I know what do!" She says, "What?" I say, "Guess" She says, "What?" I say, "We're to the drive-thru!"
So we out the front door the garage door Then I the car doors And we get in those car
Put my key in the And then I it sideways we fasten our seat belts As we pull out the
Then we drive to the off to the drive-thru We're approaching the Getting to the drive-thru
Almost there at the Now here at the drive thru Here in at the drive-thru Did I the drive-thru?
Well, here we are in the drive-thru Me and her Cars in of us, cars in back of us All just waiting to
some idiot in a Volvo With his brights on me I out the window and scream "Hey, what cha tryin to do, me?"
My wife says, "Maybe we park We could go eat inside" I said, "I'm bunny slippers So I leavin' this ride"
Now a on a speaker box Is sayin', "Can I your order, please?" I said, "Yes indeed, you can We'd like two with onions and cheese"
my wife says "Baby, hold on, changed my mind! I I'm gonna have a chicken sandwich Instead time"
I said, "You get a cheeseburger!" She says, "That's not what I'm for" I put my in my hands and scream "I know who you are anymore!"
The voice on the speaker "I don't all day!" I said, "Then take our And be on our way!
"I wanna get a chicken And I a cheeseburger too" She's like, "You want on that?" I'm like, "Yeah, I already that I do
we need curly fries And you dare forget it And two medium root No, just one, we'll it"
Then I said, "I'm that You're not too bright So read me my order make sure you got it right"
She says, "One, you a chicken sandwich Two, you want a Three, curly fries and a large beer" "Stop, go no further!"
"I never ordered a large beer I medium, not large!" Then she says, "We're a special I you at no charge"
"Oh" And that's all I say was "oh" And she says, "Now theres else I really think you should know
You can have refills For just a more" I say, "Great, except in the drive-thru So would I want that for?"
Then she says, "Wait a Your voice so familiar, hey, is this Paul? And my is all like, "No, that ain't Paul Now me, who's this Paul?
She says, "Oh, just some guy Who to school with me I sat him last year And I off of him in Geometry
I said, "I a guy named Paul He used to be my He was prematurely And he moved to Pittsburgh last
He also had bladder And a bad infection on his toe" And she says, "Mister, please, you can stop there That's way than I needed to know!"
And then we were quiet And got real intense And she says, "Next window please, be five dollars and eighty two cents"
So we inched in line painfully slow I got a little So I turned on the
Click, it off my wife was getting a headache So we both just sat quietly For her
I looked at her And she back at me And I said, "Um I think you have somethin' in teeth"
She turned from me And turned back and said, "Did I get it?" I said, "Yeah, well, I mean, of it But hey, ya know, sweat it"
she said, "How about now?" I said, "Yeah, There's still a little bit there but worry It's probably a piece of toast"
Now at the pay window Or you call it Put my in my pocket I can't there's no wallet!
And the lady at the like "Well well, that'll be five eighty-two" I turn around to my and say "How have you got on you?"
She just rolls her eyes and "I'll pay for I guess" So she reaches into her And out the American Express
I hand it to the And she says, "Oh It's gotta be cash We take credit cards here"
I took back the and said "Gee, really? Well sucks!" And that's when I out My wife was carryin' three bucks
I said, "I thought you to hit the ATM today" She says, "I never got to it So where's wallet anyway?
And I said, "Nevermind Just help me to some change" Now the lady at the Is looking at me kinda
And she says, "Mister, We gotta move line along" I said, "Now your stinkin' horses lady We be long"
So I looked inside the glove box And the mat beneath my feet I a nickel in an ashtray And a pennies and a dime in the space between the seats
Before I had a little pile Of coins of sort The lady counts it up and "You're still about a short"
And now my woman's got weird look on her face She screams, "You I wasn't really hungry in the first place"
And so I turned To the again I and said, "Okay Forget the sandwich then"
So I up my change Pick up my And I to the pickup window Man, I just wait to eat
And now we see this acne Kid about Wearin' a dorky nametag that "Hello, my is Eugene"
And he me a paper bag I look him in the And I say to him "Hey, Could I get ketchup for my fries?"
Well he at me And I at him And he at me And I at him
And he at me And I at him And he says, "I'm What did you again?"
I say, "Ketchup!" And he says, "Oh yeah, right I just spaced out for a second I'm really of burnt tonight"
And then he hands me the And then we're finally drivin' And the food is me mad With its intoxicating
I'm to death By the time we pull up at the light I say, "Baby, that burger I just gotta a bite!"
So she in the bag And pulls out the And she me the burger And I pick up the
And then I the paper I bite those buns And I just can't it They the onions!