Seven in the evening Watchin stupid on TV I'm out on the sofa When my comes in the room and sees me
And she says, Is this the Music' Lynyrd Skynyrd?" And I say, "I don't know, say, it's gettin' cha wanna do for dinner?
She says, "I had a big lunch So I'm not hungry" I said, "Well you know, I'm not starvin' either but I eat"
She said, "So do you have in mind?" I said, "I don't know, what you?" She says, "I don't care, if you're hungry eat" I said, "That's what gonna do!"
"But first you tell me What it is you're for!" And she says, "Let me left in our refrigerator?"
I said, "Well, tuna, I know" She said, "That went bad a ago!" I said, "Is the okay?" She said, "You finished yesterday!"
I hopped up and I said, "I know Do you to get something delivered?" She's like, "Why would I to eat liver? I even like liver!"
I'm like, "No, I 'delivered' " She's like, "I you say liver!" I'm like, "I should know I said" She's like, "Whatever, I just want any liver!"
Well, I was gonna say But my cell phone to ring Now who be callin' me? Well I my caller ID
It was cousin Larry callin' For the third today My said, "Let it go to voicemail" I said, "Okay"
"Where we? Oh, dinner, right So what do you do?" She said, "Why you whip up somethin in the kitchen?" "Yeah?" I said, "Why you?"
And she says "Baby, can't we go out to dinner, please?" I no, she says yes, I says no, she says yes I says no, she says yes, oh, your keys"
I a little bit closer Say, "Okay, where ya go?" She says, "How The Ivy?" I said, "Yeah, I don't know"
I feel like, gettin all dressed up And eatin' expensive says, "Olive Garden?" I say, "Nah, I'm not in the
And Burrito King would me gassy no doubt" She says, "Just about it" I said, "No, I swear I'm gonna you out!"
Then I get an I say, "I what we'll do!" She says, "What?" I say, "Guess" She says, "What?" I say, "We're to the drive-thru!"
So we out the front door the garage door Then I open the car And we get in those car
Put my key in the And I turn it sideways we fasten our seat belts As we pull out the
we drive to the drive-thru Heading off to the We're the drive-thru Getting to the drive-thru
Almost at the drive-thru Now here at the drive thru Here in line at the Did I mention the
Well, we are in the drive-thru line Me and her Cars in front of us, in back of us All waiting to order
There's idiot in a Volvo his brights on behind me I lean out the window and "Hey, what cha tryin to do, me?"
My says, "Maybe we should park We just go eat inside" I said, "I'm bunny slippers So I leavin' this ride"
Now a on a speaker box Is sayin', "Can I take order, please?" I said, "Yes indeed, you can We'd like two hamburgers with and cheese"
Then my says "Baby, hold on, I've my mind! I I'm gonna have a chicken sandwich Instead time"
I said, "You get a cheeseburger!" She says, "That's not what I'm for" I put my in my hands and scream "I know who you are anymore!"
The voice on the speaker "I don't all day!" I said, "Then take our And be on our way!
"I get a chicken sandwich And I a cheeseburger too" She's like, "You want on that?" I'm like, "Yeah, I already said I do
Plus we need fries And you dare forget it And two medium root No, one, we'll split it"
Then I said, "I'm that You're not too bright So read me back my Let's make you got it right"
She says, "One, you want a sandwich Two, you want a Three, curly and a large root beer" "Stop, go no further!"
"I never ordered a large beer I medium, not large!" Then she says, "We're a special I you at no charge"
"Oh" And that's all I say was "oh" And she says, "Now theres else That I really think you should
You can have refills For just a more" I say, "Great, we're in the drive-thru So what would I that for?"
Then she says, "Wait a voice sounds so familiar, hey, is this Paul? And my wife is all like, "No, ain't Paul Now tell me, who's this
She says, "Oh, he's some guy Who goes to school me I sat behind him last And I copied off of him in
I said, "I know a guy named He to be my plumber He was bald And he moved to Pittsburgh summer
He also had bladder And a bad infection on his toe" And she says, "Mister, please, you can right there That's way than I needed to know!"
And then we were quiet And things got intense And then she says, "Next please, That'll be five and eighty two cents"
So we inched in line Movin' painfully I got a bored So I turned on the
Click, it off Because my was getting a headache So we both sat there quietly For her
I looked at her And she back at me And I said, "Um I think you have somethin' in teeth"
She turned from me And then turned and said, "Did I get it?" I said, "Yeah, well, I mean, of it But hey, ya know, don't it"
she said, "How about now?" I said, "Yeah, There's a little bit there but don't worry probably just a piece of toast"
Now at the pay window Or you call it Put my in my pocket I can't there's no wallet!
And the lady at the like "Well well, that'll be five eighty-two" I around to my wife and say "How have you got on you?"
She rolls her eyes and says "I'll pay for I guess" So she reaches into her And busts out the American
I it to the lady And she says, "Oh It's gotta be cash We don't take credit here"
I took the card and said "Gee, really? that sucks!" And that's I found out My wife was only three bucks
I said, "I thought you to hit the ATM today" She says, "I never got to it So your wallet anyway?
And I said, "Nevermind Just help me to find change" Now the lady at the Is looking at me kinda
And she says, "Mister, We gotta move line along" I said, "Now hold your stinkin' horses We be long"
So I looked inside the glove box And the mat beneath my feet I found a nickel in an And a couple pennies and a dime in the space between the
Before long I had a pile Of coins of every The counts it up and says "You're still about a short"
And now my got this weird look on her face She screams, "You I wasn't even really in the first place"
And so I around To the again I and said, "Okay Forget the sandwich then"
So I up my change Pick up my And I to the pickup window Man, I can't wait to eat
And now we see this ridden Kid sixteen Wearin' a nametag that says "Hello, my is Eugene"
And he me a paper bag I look him in the And I say to him "Hey, Could I get ketchup for my fries?"
Well he at me And I at him And he at me And I at him
And he at me And I at him And he says, "I'm did you want again?"
I say, "Ketchup!" And he says, "Oh yeah, right I spaced out there for a second I'm kind of burnt tonight"
And he hands me the ketchup And then we're finally drivin' And the is drivin' me mad With its bouquet
I'm starvin' to By the we pull up at the traffic light I say, "Baby, gimme that I just gotta a bite!"
So she in the bag And out the burger And she hands me the And I up the burger
And then I the paper I into those buns And I can't believe it They the onions!