Seven in the evening somethin' stupid on TV I'm out on the sofa my wife comes in the room and sees me
And she says, Is this the Music' Lynyrd Skynyrd?" And I say, "I know, say, it's gettin' late cha wanna do for dinner?
She says, "I had a big lunch So I'm not hungry" I said, "Well you know, I'm not either but I could eat"
She said, "So do you have in mind?" I said, "I don't know, what you?" She says, "I don't care, if hungry let's eat" I said, "That's what we're do!"
"But you gotta tell me What it is you're for!" And she says, "Let me What's in our refrigerator?"
I said, "Well, tuna, I know" She said, "That bad a week ago!" I said, "Is the okay?" She said, "You that yesterday!"
I hopped up and I said, "I don't Do you to get something delivered?" She's like, "Why I want to eat liver? I don't like liver!"
I'm like, "No, I 'delivered' " She's like, "I you say liver!" I'm like, "I know what I said" She's like, "Whatever, I just want any liver!"
Well, I was say something But my cell phone started to Now who be callin' me? I checked my caller ID
It was cousin Larry callin' For the third today My said, "Let it go to voicemail" I said, "Okay"
"Where we? Oh, dinner, right So what do you do?" She said, "Why don't you up somethin in the kitchen?" "Yeah?" I said, "Why you?"
And then she "Baby, can't we go out to dinner, please?" I no, she says yes, I says no, she says yes I no, she says yes, oh, here's your keys"
I step a bit closer Say, "Okay, ya wanna go?" She says, "How The Ivy?" I said, "Yeah, well I know"
I feel like, gettin all dressed up And eatin' expensive says, "Olive Garden?" I say, "Nah, I'm not in the
And Burrito King make me gassy no doubt" She says, "Just forget it" I said, "No, I I'm gonna take you out!"
Then I get an I say, "I know we'll do!" She says, "What?" I say, "Guess" She says, "What?" I say, "We're to the drive-thru!"
So we head out the door the garage door Then I open the car And we get in car doors
Put my key in the And then I it sideways Then we our seat belts As we out the driveway
Then we drive to the off to the drive-thru We're approaching the Getting close to the
Almost there at the Now we're here at the drive in line at the drive-thru Did I mention the
Well, we are in the drive-thru line Me and her Cars in front of us, cars in of us All just waiting to
There's some in a Volvo his brights on behind me I lean out the and scream "Hey, what cha to do, blind me?"
My wife says, "Maybe we park We could go eat inside" I said, "I'm bunny slippers So I leavin' this ride"
Now a on a speaker box Is sayin', "Can I your order, please?" I said, "Yes indeed, you can We'd like two with onions and cheese"
Then my says "Baby, hold on, changed my mind! I think I'm have a chicken sandwich Instead time"
I said, "You get a cheeseburger!" She says, "That's not what I'm for" I put my head in my and scream "I don't who you are anymore!"
The voice on the says "I don't all day!" I said, "Then take our And be on our way!
"I get a chicken sandwich And I want a too" She's like, "You onions on that?" I'm like, "Yeah, I said that I do
Plus we need curly And don't you forget it And two root beers No, just one, we'll it"
I said, "I'm guessin' that You're probably not too So read me back my Let's sure you got it right"
She says, "One, you a chicken sandwich Two, you want a Three, curly fries and a root beer" "Stop, go no further!"
"I never ordered a root beer I medium, not large!" Then she says, "We're havin' a I you at no charge"
"Oh" And that's all I say was "oh" And she says, "Now somethin' else That I really you should know
You can have refills For a quarter more" I say, "Great, except we're in the So what would I want for?"
Then she says, "Wait a Your voice so familiar, hey, is this Paul? And my wife is all like, "No, that Paul Now tell me, who's Paul?
She says, "Oh, he's just guy Who to school with me I sat him last year And I copied off of him in
I said, "I know a guy Paul He to be my plumber He was prematurely And he to Pittsburgh last summer
He had bladder problems And a really bad on his toe" And she says, "Mister, please, you can stop right way more than I needed to know!"
And then we were quiet And got real intense And then she says, "Next please, That'll be five dollars and two cents"
So we inched in line Movin' painfully I got a bored So I on the radio
Click, it off Because my was getting a headache So we both just sat quietly For her
I looked at her And she looked at me And I said, "Um I you have somethin' in your teeth"
She away from me And turned back and said, "Did I get it?" I said, "Yeah, well, I mean, of it But hey, ya know, don't it"
she said, "How about now?" I said, "Yeah, There's a little bit there but don't worry probably just a piece of toast"
Now at the pay window Or you call it Put my hand in my I can't believe no wallet!
And the lady at the like "Well well well, that'll be eighty-two" I around to my wife and say "How much you got on you?"
She just rolls her and says "I'll pay for I guess" So she reaches into her And busts out the American
I hand it to the And she says, "Oh It's gotta be only We don't credit cards here"
I took back the and said "Gee, Well that sucks!" And that's when I out My wife was only carryin' bucks
I said, "I thought you to hit the ATM today" She says, "I got around to it So your wallet anyway?
And I said, "Nevermind Just help me to find change" Now the at the window Is at me kinda strange
And she says, "Mister, We gotta this line along" I said, "Now hold stinkin' horses lady We be long"
So I around inside the glove box And the mat beneath my feet I a nickel in an ashtray And a pennies and a dime in the space between the seats
long I had a little pile Of of every sort The lady counts it up and "You're about a dollar short"
And now my woman's got weird look on her face She screams, "You I even really hungry in the first place"
And so I around To the again I and said, "Okay the chicken sandwich then"
So I up my change up my receipt And I drive to the pickup Man, I can't wait to eat
And now we see acne ridden Kid about Wearin' a dorky nametag that "Hello, my is Eugene"
And he hands me a bag I look him in the And I say to him "Hey, Could I get some for my fries?"
Well he at me And I at him And he at me And I at him
And he at me And I at him And he says, "I'm What did you again?"
I say, "Ketchup!" And he says, "Oh yeah, that's I just spaced out there for a I'm kind of burnt tonight"
And then he me the ketchup And we're finally drivin' away And the is drivin' me mad its intoxicating bouquet
I'm to death By the time we pull up at the light I say, "Baby, gimme burger I just have a bite!"
So she in the bag And out the burger And she me the burger And I pick up the
And then I the paper I bite into those And I just believe it They the onions!