Seven o'clock in the Watchin somethin' on TV I'm zoned out on the When my wife comes in the and sees me
And she says, Is this 'Behind the With Skynyrd?" And I say, "I don't know, say, gettin' late What cha wanna do for
She says, "I had a big lunch So I'm not hungry" I said, "Well you know, I'm not either but I could eat"
She said, "So what do you in mind?" I said, "I don't know, what you?" She says, "I don't care, if you're let's eat" I said, "That's we're gonna do!"
"But first you gotta me What it is you're for!" And she says, "Let me What's in our refrigerator?"
I said, "Well, tuna, I know" She said, "That went bad a ago!" I said, "Is the okay?" She said, "You that yesterday!"
I hopped up and I said, "I know Do you want to get delivered?" She's like, "Why would I want to eat I don't like liver!"
I'm like, "No, I 'delivered' " like, "I heard you say liver!" I'm like, "I know what I said" She's like, "Whatever, I just don't any liver!"
Well, I was gonna say But my cell started to ring Now who could be me? I checked my caller ID
It was just Larry callin' For the third time My said, "Let it go to voicemail" I said, "Okay"
"Where we? Oh, dinner, right So do you wanna do?" She said, "Why don't you whip up in the kitchen?" "Yeah?" I said, "Why you?"
And then she "Baby, can't we go out to dinner, please?" I says no, she says yes, I says no, she yes I says no, she says yes, oh, here's keys"
I step a bit closer Say, "Okay, where ya go?" She says, "How The Ivy?" I said, "Yeah, I don't know"
I feel like, gettin all dressed up And eatin' food says, "Olive Garden?" I say, "Nah, I'm not in the
And Burrito King would me gassy no doubt" She says, "Just forget it" I said, "No, I swear I'm gonna you out!"
Then I get an I say, "I what we'll do!" She says, "What?" I say, "Guess" She says, "What?" I say, "We're to the drive-thru!"
So we head out the door Open the door I open the car doors And we get in car doors
Put my key in the And I turn it sideways we fasten our seat belts As we pull out the
Then we to the drive-thru off to the drive-thru We're the drive-thru close to the drive-thru
Almost at the drive-thru Now we're here at the thru Here in at the drive-thru Did I the drive-thru?
Well, we are in the drive-thru line Me and her in front of us, cars in back of us All just to order
There's some idiot in a his brights on behind me I out the window and scream "Hey, what cha tryin to do, me?"
My wife says, "Maybe we should We could go eat inside" I said, "I'm wearin' bunny So I leavin' this ride"
Now a on a speaker box Is sayin', "Can I take order, please?" I said, "Yes indeed, you can We'd like two hamburgers onions and cheese"
my wife says "Baby, on, I've changed my mind! I think I'm gonna have a chicken this time"
I said, "You get a cheeseburger!" She says, "That's not what I'm for" I put my in my hands and scream "I don't who you are anymore!"
The on the speaker says "I have all day!" I said, "Then our order And be on our way!
"I wanna get a chicken And I a cheeseburger too" She's like, "You onions on that?" I'm like, "Yeah, I already that I do
we need curly fries And don't you dare it And two root beers No, one, we'll split it"
Then I said, "I'm guessin' You're probably not too So read me my order Let's sure you got it right"
She says, "One, you want a chicken Two, you want a Three, curly fries and a large beer" "Stop, go no further!"
"I never ordered a large root I medium, not large!" Then she says, "We're havin' a I you at no charge"
"Oh" And all I could say was "oh" And she says, "Now theres else That I think you should know
You can have unlimited For a quarter more" I say, "Great, we're in the drive-thru So would I want that for?"
Then she says, "Wait a Your voice sounds so familiar, hey, is this And my is all like, "No, that ain't Paul Now tell me, this Paul?
She says, "Oh, just some guy Who goes to school me I sat behind him last And I off of him in Geometry
I said, "I know a guy Paul He used to be my He was bald And he moved to Pittsburgh last
He also had bladder And a bad infection on his toe" And she says, "Mister, please, you can stop there That's way more than I to know!"
And then we both were And things got real And she says, "Next window please, That'll be five dollars and two cents"
So we inched ahead in painfully slow I got a bored So I on the radio
Click, it off my wife was getting a headache So we both just sat quietly For her
Then I at her And she back at me And I said, "Um I think you somethin' in your teeth"
She turned from me And turned back and said, "Did I get it?" I said, "Yeah, well, I mean, of it But hey, ya know, sweat it"
she said, "How about now?" I said, "Yeah, There's still a little bit but don't worry It's just a piece of toast"
Now at the pay window Or you call it Put my in my pocket I can't there's no wallet!
And the at the window's like "Well well well, be five eighty-two" I turn around to my and say "How much you got on you?"
She rolls her eyes and says "I'll pay for I guess" So she into her purse And busts out the Express
I it to the lady And she says, "Oh It's gotta be only We don't take cards here"
I took back the and said "Gee, Well that sucks!" And that's I found out My wife was only carryin' bucks
I said, "I you were to hit the ATM today" She says, "I got around to it So your wallet anyway?
And I said, "Nevermind Just help me to find change" Now the lady at the Is looking at me strange
And she says, "Mister, We move this line along" I said, "Now your stinkin' horses lady We be long"
So I around inside the glove box And the mat beneath my feet I found a nickel in an And a pennies and a dime in the space between the seats
long I had a little pile Of coins of sort The lady counts it up and "You're still a dollar short"
And now my got this weird look Frozen on her She screams, "You I even really hungry in the first place"
And so I turned To the cashier I and said, "Okay Forget the chicken then"
So I pick up my up my receipt And I drive to the window Man, I just can't to eat
And now we see acne ridden Kid sixteen Wearin' a dorky nametag says "Hello, my is Eugene"
And he hands me a bag I him in the eyes And I say to him "Hey, Could I get ketchup for my fries?"
he looks at me And I at him And he at me And I at him
And he at me And I at him And he says, "I'm What did you again?"
I say, "Ketchup!" And he says, "Oh yeah, that's I just spaced out for a second I'm kind of burnt tonight"
And he hands me the ketchup And then we're finally away And the is drivin' me mad With its intoxicating
I'm to death By the time we pull up at the traffic I say, "Baby, gimme burger I gotta have a bite!"
So she in the bag And pulls out the And she hands me the And I pick up the
And I unwrap the paper I bite into buns And I can't believe it forgot the onions!