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Seven o'clock in the
Watchin somethin' on TV
I'm out on the sofa
When my comes in the room and sees me

And she says, Is 'Behind the Music'
With Skynyrd?"
And I say, "I don't know, say, gettin' late
What cha do for dinner?

She says, "I had a big lunch
So I'm not hungry"
I said, "Well you know,
I'm not starvin' but I could eat"

She said, "So what do you in mind?"
I said, "I know, what about you?"
She says, "I care, if you're hungry let's eat"
I said, "That's what we're do!"

"But first you gotta me
it is you're hungry for!"
And she says, "Let me
left in our refrigerator?"

I said, "Well, tuna, I know"
She said, "That bad a week ago!"
I said, "Is the okay?"
She said, "You finished yesterday!"

I up and I said, "I don't know
Do you to get something delivered?"
She's like, "Why I want to eat liver?
I even like liver!"

I'm like, "No, I 'delivered' "
She's like, "I you say liver!"
I'm like, "I know what I said"
She's like, "Whatever, I just don't any liver!"

Well, I was gonna say
But my phone started to ring
Now who be callin' me?
Well I my caller ID

It was cousin Larry callin'
For the third time
My said, "Let it go to voicemail"
I said, "Okay"

"Where we? Oh, dinner, right
So what do you do?"
She said, "Why don't you whip up in the kitchen?"
"Yeah?" I said, "Why you?"

And she says
"Baby, can't we go out to dinner, please?"
I says no, she says yes, I says no, she yes
I says no, she yes, oh, here's your keys"

I a little bit closer
Say, "Okay, ya wanna go?"
She says, "How The Ivy?"
I said, "Yeah, I don't know"

I don't like, gettin all dressed up
And expensive food
says, "Olive Garden?"
I say, "Nah, I'm not in the

And King would make me gassy
no doubt"
She says, "Just about it"
I said, "No, I swear I'm take you out!"

I get an idea
I say, "I know we'll do!"
She says, "What?" I say, "Guess"
She says, "What?" I say, "We're to the drive-thru!"

So we out the front door
the garage door
Then I the car doors
And we get in those car

Put my key in the
And then I turn it
we fasten our seat belts
As we pull out the

Then we to the drive-thru
Heading off to the
approaching the drive-thru
Getting to the drive-thru

Almost at the drive-thru
Now we're at the drive thru
Here in line at the
Did I the drive-thru?

Well, here we are in the line
Me and her
Cars in of us, cars in back of us
All just to order

some idiot in a Volvo
With his brights on me
I lean out the and scream
"Hey, cha tryin to do, blind me?"

My wife says, "Maybe we should
We just go eat inside"
I said, "I'm wearin' slippers
So I ain't this ride"

Now a on a speaker box
Is sayin', "Can I take order, please?"
I said, "Yes indeed, you can
We'd like two hamburgers onions and cheese"

Then my wife
"Baby, hold on, I've my mind!
I think I'm have a chicken sandwich
Instead time"

I said, "You get a cheeseburger!"
She says, "That's not what I'm for"
I put my head in my hands and
"I know who you are anymore!"

The voice on the says
"I don't all day!"
I said, "Then take our
And be on our way!

"I get a chicken sandwich
And I a cheeseburger too"
She's like, "You onions on that?"
I'm like, "Yeah, I said that I do

Plus we curly fries
And don't you forget it
And two medium beers
No, one, we'll split it"

Then I said, "I'm guessin'
You're probably not too
So me back my order
make sure you got it right"

She says, "One, you a chicken sandwich
Two, you want a
Three, fries and a large root beer"
"Stop, go no further!"

"I never ordered a root beer
I medium, not large!"
Then she says, "We're havin' a
I you at no charge"

"Oh"
And all I could say was "oh"
And she says, "Now somethin' else
That I think you should know

You can have unlimited
For a quarter more"
I say, "Great, except we're in the
So what I want that for?"

Then she says, "Wait a
voice sounds so familiar, hey, is this Paul?
And my wife is all like, "No, that Paul
Now tell me, this Paul?

She says, "Oh, just some guy
Who goes to school me
I sat behind him year
And I copied off of him in

I said, "I know a guy named
He to be my plumber
He was bald
And he moved to Pittsburgh last

He had bladder problems
And a bad infection on his toe"
And she says, "Mister, please, you can right there
way more than I needed to know!"

And we both were quiet
And things got intense
And she says, "Next window please,
That'll be five dollars and two cents"

So we ahead in line
Movin' painfully
I got a little
So I on the radio

Click, it off
Because my wife was getting a
So we both sat there quietly
For her

I looked at her
And she looked at me
And I said, "Um
I think you have in your teeth"

She turned away me
And turned back and said, "Did I get it?"
I said, "Yeah, well, I mean, of it
But hey, ya know, sweat it"

she said, "How about now?"
I said, "Yeah,
There's still a little bit there but worry
It's probably just a of toast"

Now at the pay window
Or you call it
Put my hand in my
I believe there's no wallet!

And the lady at the window's
"Well well well, that'll be eighty-two"
I turn to my wife and say
"How have you got on you?"

She rolls her eyes and says
"I'll pay for I guess"
So she reaches into her
And busts out the Express

I hand it to the
And she says, "Oh
gotta be cash only
We take credit cards here"

I took back the and said
"Gee, Well that sucks!"
And that's when I out
My wife was only carryin' three

I said, "I thought you
to hit the ATM today"
She says, "I never got to it
So where's your anyway?

And I said, "Nevermind
Just help me to find change"
Now the lady at the
Is at me kinda strange

And she says, "Mister,
We gotta move line along"
I said, "Now hold your horses lady
We be long"

So I looked around inside the box
And checked the mat beneath my
I found a in an ashtray
And a couple pennies and a dime in the space between the

Before long I had a little
Of of every sort
The counts it up and says
"You're still a dollar short"

And now my woman's got weird look
Frozen on her
She screams, "You
I wasn't really hungry in the first place"

And so I turned
To the cashier
I and said, "Okay
Forget the sandwich then"

So I pick up my
Pick up my
And I drive to the window
Man, I can't wait to eat

And now we see this ridden
Kid about
Wearin' a nametag that says
"Hello, my is Eugene"

And he me a paper bag
I him in the eyes
And I say to him "Hey,
Could I get some for my fries?"

he looks at me
And I at him
And he at me
And I at him

And he at me
And I at him
And he says, "I'm
did you want again?"

I say, "Ketchup!"
And he says, "Oh yeah, that's
I spaced out there for a second
I'm really kind of tonight"

And then he me the ketchup
And then we're drivin' away
And the is drivin' me mad
With its bouquet

I'm to death
By the time we pull up at the traffic
I say, "Baby, gimme that
I gotta have a bite!"

So she in the bag
And pulls out the
And she hands me the
And I pick up the

And I unwrap the paper
I bite into those
And I just can't it
They the onions!

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