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Seven o'clock in the
Watchin somethin' on TV
I'm out on the sofa
When my wife in the room and sees me

And she says, Is this 'Behind the
With Skynyrd?"
And I say, "I don't know, say, it's late
cha wanna do for dinner?

She says, "I kinda had a big
So I'm not hungry"
I said, "Well you know,
I'm not starvin' either but I eat"

She said, "So do you have in mind?"
I said, "I know, what about you?"
She says, "I don't care, if you're let's eat"
I said, "That's we're gonna do!"

"But you gotta tell me
What it is you're for!"
And she says, "Let me
left in our refrigerator?"

I said, "Well, tuna, I know"
She said, "That went bad a ago!"
I said, "Is the okay?"
She said, "You finished yesterday!"

I up and I said, "I don't know
Do you to get something delivered?"
She's like, "Why I want to eat liver?
I even like liver!"

I'm like, "No, I said "
She's like, "I you say liver!"
I'm like, "I know what I said"
like, "Whatever, I just don't want any liver!"

Well, I was say something
But my cell phone to ring
Now who be callin' me?
Well I my caller ID

It was cousin Larry callin'
For the third time
My said, "Let it go to voicemail"
I said, "Okay"

"Where were we? Oh, dinner,
So what do you do?"
She said, "Why don't you up somethin in the kitchen?"
"Yeah?" I said, "Why you?"

And she says
"Baby, we just go out to dinner, please?"
I says no, she says yes, I says no, she yes
I says no, she says yes, oh, here's keys"

I step a little bit
Say, "Okay, where ya go?"
She says, "How The Ivy?"
I said, "Yeah, well I know"

I feel like, gettin all dressed up
And eatin' expensive
says, "Olive Garden?"
I say, "Nah, I'm not in the

And Burrito would make me gassy
no doubt"
She says, "Just about it"
I said, "No, I swear I'm take you out!"

Then I get an
I say, "I know we'll do!"
She says, "What?" I say, "Guess"
She says, "What?" I say, "We're to the drive-thru!"

So we head out the front
Open the garage
Then I open the car
And we get in those car

Put my key in the
And I turn it sideways
Then we fasten our belts
As we out the driveway

Then we drive to the
off to the drive-thru
We're the drive-thru
close to the drive-thru

Almost at the drive-thru
Now we're here at the drive
Here in at the drive-thru
Did I mention the

Well, here we are in the line
Me and her
in front of us, cars in back of us
All just waiting to

There's some in a Volvo
his brights on behind me
I out the window and scream
"Hey, what cha to do, blind me?"

My wife says, "Maybe we park
We could go eat inside"
I said, "I'm wearin' slippers
So I ain't leavin' ride"

Now a on a speaker box
Is sayin', "Can I take order, please?"
I said, "Yes indeed, you can
We'd two hamburgers with onions and cheese"

Then my says
"Baby, hold on, changed my mind!
I I'm gonna have a chicken sandwich
this time"

I said, "You get a cheeseburger!"
She says, "That's not what I'm for"
I put my head in my hands and
"I know who you are anymore!"

The voice on the says
"I don't all day!"
I said, "Then our order
And be on our way!

"I wanna get a chicken
And I want a too"
She's like, "You onions on that?"
I'm like, "Yeah, I already said I do

Plus we curly fries
And don't you dare it
And two root beers
No, just one, split it"

I said, "I'm guessin' that
You're not too bright
So me back my order
Let's make you got it right"

She says, "One, you a chicken sandwich
Two, you want a
Three, curly fries and a root beer"
"Stop, go no further!"

"I never ordered a root beer
I medium, not large!"
Then she says, "We're a special
I you at no charge"

"Oh"
And that's all I say was "oh"
And she says, "Now theres else
That I think you should know

You can have refills
For just a more"
I say, "Great, except we're in the
So what I want that for?"

she says, "Wait a minute
Your voice so familiar, hey, is this Paul?
And my wife is all like, "No, ain't Paul
Now me, who's this Paul?

She says, "Oh, just some guy
Who goes to school me
I sat him last year
And I off of him in Geometry

I said, "I know a guy named
He used to be my
He was bald
And he moved to Pittsburgh last

He also had problems
And a bad infection on his toe"
And she says, "Mister, please, you can stop right
That's way than I needed to know!"

And then we were quiet
And things got intense
And she says, "Next window please,
That'll be five dollars and two cents"

So we ahead in line
Movin' painfully
I got a bored
So I on the radio

Click, it off
Because my wife was a headache
So we both sat there quietly
For her

Then I at her
And she back at me
And I said, "Um
I think you have somethin' in teeth"

She away from me
And then turned and said, "Did I get it?"
I said, "Yeah, well, I mean, of it
But hey, ya know, sweat it"

Then she said, "How now?"
I said, "Yeah,
still a little bit there but don't worry
It's probably a piece of toast"

Now at the pay window
Or you call it
Put my hand in my
I believe there's no wallet!

And the lady at the window's
"Well well well, that'll be eighty-two"
I around to my wife and say
"How much you got on you?"

She just rolls her eyes and
"I'll pay for I guess"
So she reaches into her
And busts out the Express

I hand it to the
And she says, "Oh
It's gotta be cash
We don't credit cards here"

I took the card and said
"Gee, really? Well sucks!"
And that's I found out
My wife was only three bucks

I said, "I thought you
to hit the ATM today"
She says, "I got around to it
So your wallet anyway?

And I said, "Nevermind
Just help me to find change"
Now the at the window
Is at me kinda strange

And she says, "Mister,
We move this line along"
I said, "Now hold your stinkin' lady
We be long"

So I around inside the glove box
And the mat beneath my feet
I found a in an ashtray
And a couple pennies and a dime in the space between the

Before long I had a pile
Of coins of every
The lady counts it up and
"You're still about a short"

And now my woman's got this weird
Frozen on her
She screams, "You
I wasn't even really hungry in the place"

And so I turned
To the cashier
I and said, "Okay
Forget the sandwich then"

So I up my change
Pick up my
And I to the pickup window
Man, I just can't to eat

And now we see acne ridden
Kid about
Wearin' a nametag that says
"Hello, my is Eugene"

And he hands me a bag
I him in the eyes
And I say to him "Hey,
Could I get some for my fries?"

Well he at me
And I at him
And he at me
And I at him

And he at me
And I at him
And he says, "I'm
What did you again?"

I say, "Ketchup!"
And he says, "Oh yeah, that's
I just spaced out there for a
I'm really of burnt tonight"

And he hands me the ketchup
And then we're finally drivin'
And the food is me mad
With its intoxicating

I'm starvin' to
By the we pull up at the traffic light
I say, "Baby, gimme burger
I just have a bite!"

So she in the bag
And pulls out the
And she hands me the
And I up the burger

And then I the paper
I bite those buns
And I just can't it
They the onions!

Videos

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