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Seven o'clock in the
somethin' stupid on TV
I'm out on the sofa
When my wife comes in the and sees me

And she says, Is 'Behind the Music'
Lynyrd Skynyrd?"
And I say, "I don't know, say, gettin' late
cha wanna do for dinner?

She says, "I kinda had a big
So I'm not hungry"
I said, "Well you know,
I'm not starvin' but I could eat"

She said, "So what do you in mind?"
I said, "I don't know, what you?"
She says, "I don't care, if you're let's eat"
I said, "That's what we're do!"

"But you gotta tell me
What it is you're for!"
And she says, "Let me
left in our refrigerator?"

I said, "Well, tuna, I know"
She said, "That went bad a ago!"
I said, "Is the okay?"
She said, "You that yesterday!"

I up and I said, "I don't know
Do you to get something delivered?"
like, "Why would I want to eat liver?
I don't even liver!"

I'm like, "No, I said "
like, "I heard you say liver!"
I'm like, "I should know I said"
like, "Whatever, I just don't want any liver!"

Well, I was say something
But my cell phone to ring
Now who be callin' me?
I checked my caller ID

It was cousin Larry callin'
For the third today
My said, "Let it go to voicemail"
I said, "Okay"

"Where were we? Oh, dinner,
So what do you do?"
She said, "Why don't you whip up in the kitchen?"
"Yeah?" I said, "Why you?"

And then she
"Baby, we just go out to dinner, please?"
I says no, she says yes, I no, she says yes
I says no, she yes, oh, here's your keys"

I a little bit closer
Say, "Okay, where ya go?"
She says, "How The Ivy?"
I said, "Yeah, well I know"

I don't feel like, all dressed up
And eatin' expensive
says, "Olive Garden?"
I say, "Nah, I'm not in the

And Burrito King would me gassy
no doubt"
She says, "Just forget it"
I said, "No, I I'm gonna take you out!"

I get an idea
I say, "I know we'll do!"
She says, "What?" I say, "Guess"
She says, "What?" I say, "We're to the drive-thru!"

So we head out the front
Open the door
I open the car doors
And we get in those car

Put my key in the
And then I it sideways
we fasten our seat belts
As we pull out the

we drive to the drive-thru
Heading off to the
approaching the drive-thru
Getting close to the

there at the drive-thru
Now here at the drive thru
Here in at the drive-thru
Did I mention the

Well, we are in the drive-thru line
Me and her
in front of us, cars in back of us
All just waiting to

There's some idiot in a
With his on behind me
I lean out the window and
"Hey, what cha tryin to do, me?"

My says, "Maybe we should park
We just go eat inside"
I said, "I'm wearin' bunny
So I ain't this ride"

Now a on a speaker box
Is sayin', "Can I your order, please?"
I said, "Yes indeed, you can
like two hamburgers with onions and cheese"

Then my wife
"Baby, hold on, I've my mind!
I think I'm gonna have a chicken
Instead time"

I said, "You get a cheeseburger!"
She says, "That's not what I'm for"
I put my head in my hands and
"I know who you are anymore!"

The voice on the speaker
"I have all day!"
I said, "Then our order
And be on our way!

"I get a chicken sandwich
And I want a too"
like, "You want onions on that?"
I'm like, "Yeah, I said that I do

Plus we curly fries
And don't you forget it
And two medium root
No, just one, split it"

I said, "I'm guessin' that
You're not too bright
So read me my order
Let's make you got it right"

She says, "One, you want a sandwich
Two, you a cheeseburger
Three, fries and a large root beer"
"Stop, go no further!"

"I never ordered a large beer
I medium, not large!"
Then she says, "We're a special
I you at no charge"

"Oh"
And all I could say was "oh"
And she says, "Now theres somethin'
That I really you should know

You can have unlimited
For a quarter more"
I say, "Great, we're in the drive-thru
So would I want that for?"

she says, "Wait a minute
Your voice so familiar, hey, is this Paul?
And my wife is all like, "No, that ain't
Now tell me, who's Paul?

She says, "Oh, just some guy
Who to school with me
I sat behind him year
And I copied off of him in

I said, "I a guy named Paul
He used to be my
He was bald
And he moved to last summer

He had bladder problems
And a really bad on his toe"
And she says, "Mister, please, you can right there
That's way more than I to know!"

And we both were quiet
And things got real
And then she says, "Next please,
That'll be dollars and eighty two cents"

So we ahead in line
painfully slow
I got a little
So I turned on the

Click, it off
Because my was getting a headache
So we just sat there quietly
For her

I looked at her
And she looked at me
And I said, "Um
I think you somethin' in your teeth"

She away from me
And then turned and said, "Did I get it?"
I said, "Yeah, well, I mean, of it
But hey, ya know, don't it"

she said, "How about now?"
I said, "Yeah,
There's a little bit there but don't worry
It's just a piece of toast"

Now we're at the pay
Or whatever you it
Put my in my pocket
I believe there's no wallet!

And the lady at the like
"Well well, that'll be five eighty-two"
I around to my wife and say
"How much you got on you?"

She rolls her eyes and says
"I'll pay for I guess"
So she reaches her purse
And busts out the Express

I hand it to the
And she says, "Oh
gotta be cash only
We don't take credit here"

I took the card and said
"Gee, really? that sucks!"
And when I found out
My wife was only three bucks

I said, "I you were
to hit the ATM today"
She says, "I got around to it
So your wallet anyway?

And I said, "Nevermind
Just help me to some change"
Now the at the window
Is looking at me kinda

And she says, "Mister,
We gotta this line along"
I said, "Now your stinkin' horses lady
We be long"

So I around inside the glove box
And checked the mat my feet
I found a nickel in an
And a couple pennies and a dime in the space between the

Before long I had a pile
Of coins of every
The lady it up and says
"You're still a dollar short"

And now my got this weird look
Frozen on her
She screams, "You
I wasn't really hungry in the first place"

And so I around
To the again
I and said, "Okay
Forget the chicken then"

So I up my change
Pick up my
And I to the pickup window
Man, I can't wait to eat

And now we see acne ridden
Kid about
Wearin' a nametag that says
"Hello, my is Eugene"

And he me a paper bag
I him in the eyes
And I say to him "Hey,
Could I get some for my fries?"

Well he at me
And I at him
And he at me
And I at him

And he at me
And I at him
And he says, "I'm
What did you again?"

I say, "Ketchup!"
And he says, "Oh yeah, that's
I spaced out there for a second
I'm really of burnt tonight"

And then he me the ketchup
And we're finally drivin' away
And the is drivin' me mad
its intoxicating bouquet

I'm to death
By the we pull up at the traffic light
I say, "Baby, gimme that
I gotta have a bite!"

So she in the bag
And out the burger
And she me the burger
And I up the burger

And then I the paper
I into those buns
And I just believe it
forgot the onions!

Videos

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