Seven o'clock in the Watchin stupid on TV I'm zoned out on the my wife comes in the room and sees me
And she says, Is this the Music' With Skynyrd?" And I say, "I don't know, say, gettin' late What cha wanna do for
She says, "I kinda had a big So I'm not hungry" I said, "Well you know, I'm not starvin' but I could eat"
She said, "So do you have in mind?" I said, "I know, what about you?" She says, "I don't care, if you're hungry eat" I said, "That's we're gonna do!"
"But first you tell me What it is you're for!" And she says, "Let me left in our refrigerator?"
I said, "Well, tuna, I know" She said, "That went bad a ago!" I said, "Is the okay?" She said, "You that yesterday!"
I hopped up and I said, "I know Do you to get something delivered?" She's like, "Why I want to eat liver? I don't even liver!"
I'm like, "No, I 'delivered' " like, "I heard you say liver!" I'm like, "I know what I said" She's like, "Whatever, I just don't any liver!"
Well, I was say something But my phone started to ring Now who could be me? I checked my caller ID
It was just cousin callin' For the time today My said, "Let it go to voicemail" I said, "Okay"
"Where we? Oh, dinner, right So do you wanna do?" She said, "Why you whip up somethin in the kitchen?" "Yeah?" I said, "Why you?"
And then she "Baby, can't we go out to dinner, please?" I says no, she yes, I says no, she says yes I no, she says yes, oh, here's your keys"
I a little bit closer Say, "Okay, where ya go?" She says, "How The Ivy?" I said, "Yeah, I don't know"
I don't feel like, gettin all up And eatin' expensive says, "Olive Garden?" I say, "Nah, I'm not in the
And Burrito King would me gassy no doubt" She says, "Just forget it" I said, "No, I I'm gonna take you out!"
Then I get an I say, "I know we'll do!" She says, "What?" I say, "Guess" She says, "What?" I say, "We're to the drive-thru!"
So we out the front door Open the garage Then I the car doors And we get in those car
Put my key in the And then I it sideways Then we fasten our seat As we out the driveway
we drive to the drive-thru Heading off to the We're approaching the Getting to the drive-thru
there at the drive-thru Now here at the drive thru Here in at the drive-thru Did I mention the
Well, here we are in the line Me and her in front of us, cars in back of us All just waiting to
There's some in a Volvo With his on behind me I out the window and scream "Hey, what cha to do, blind me?"
My wife says, "Maybe we should We could go eat inside" I said, "I'm bunny slippers So I ain't this ride"
Now a woman on a box Is sayin', "Can I take order, please?" I said, "Yes indeed, you can We'd like two hamburgers onions and cheese"
Then my says "Baby, on, I've changed my mind! I I'm gonna have a chicken sandwich Instead time"
I said, "You get a cheeseburger!" She says, "That's not what I'm for" I put my head in my hands and "I don't who you are anymore!"
The on the speaker says "I have all day!" I said, "Then take our And be on our way!
"I wanna get a sandwich And I a cheeseburger too" She's like, "You onions on that?" I'm like, "Yeah, I said that I do
we need curly fries And don't you forget it And two medium beers No, just one, split it"
Then I said, "I'm guessin' probably not too bright So read me my order Let's make you got it right"
She says, "One, you a chicken sandwich Two, you a cheeseburger Three, curly fries and a large beer" "Stop, go no further!"
"I never ordered a root beer I medium, not large!" Then she says, "We're a special I you at no charge"
"Oh" And all I could say was "oh" And she says, "Now theres somethin' That I really think you know
You can have refills For just a more" I say, "Great, except in the drive-thru So what would I want for?"
she says, "Wait a minute Your voice so familiar, hey, is this Paul? And my is all like, "No, that ain't Paul Now tell me, who's this
She says, "Oh, he's some guy Who to school with me I sat behind him year And I off of him in Geometry
I said, "I know a guy named He used to be my He was prematurely And he moved to Pittsburgh last
He had bladder problems And a really bad on his toe" And she says, "Mister, please, you can stop right way more than I needed to know!"
And we both were quiet And things got intense And she says, "Next window please, That'll be dollars and eighty two cents"
So we inched in line painfully slow I got a bored So I turned on the
Click, it off my wife was getting a headache So we both sat there quietly For her
Then I at her And she back at me And I said, "Um I you have somethin' in your teeth"
She turned away me And then back and said, "Did I get it?" I said, "Yeah, well, I mean, of it But hey, ya know, sweat it"
Then she said, "How now?" I said, "Yeah, There's a little bit there but don't worry probably just a piece of toast"
Now we're at the pay Or you call it Put my hand in my I can't believe no wallet!
And the lady at the window's "Well well, that'll be five eighty-two" I turn to my wife and say "How have you got on you?"
She just her eyes and says "I'll pay for I guess" So she reaches into her And out the American Express
I it to the lady And she says, "Oh It's gotta be only We don't take credit here"
I back the card and said "Gee, Well that sucks!" And that's I found out My was only carryin' three bucks
I said, "I thought you to hit the ATM today" She says, "I got around to it So your wallet anyway?
And I said, "Nevermind Just help me to some change" Now the at the window Is looking at me kinda
And she says, "Mister, We move this line along" I said, "Now hold your stinkin' horses We be long"
So I looked around the glove box And checked the mat my feet I found a nickel in an And a couple pennies and a dime in the space between the
long I had a little pile Of coins of every The lady counts it up and "You're about a dollar short"
And now my woman's got this look Frozen on her She screams, "You I wasn't even really in the first place"
And so I around To the cashier I and said, "Okay the chicken sandwich then"
So I up my change Pick up my And I drive to the window Man, I can't wait to eat
And now we see this ridden Kid about Wearin' a dorky nametag says "Hello, my is Eugene"
And he me a paper bag I him in the eyes And I say to him "Hey, Could I get some for my fries?"
he looks at me And I at him And he at me And I at him
And he at me And I at him And he says, "I'm What did you again?"
I say, "Ketchup!" And he says, "Oh yeah, that's I spaced out there for a second I'm kind of burnt tonight"
And he hands me the ketchup And then we're drivin' away And the is drivin' me mad its intoxicating bouquet
I'm starvin' to By the time we pull up at the traffic I say, "Baby, gimme that I just have a bite!"
So she in the bag And pulls out the And she me the burger And I pick up the
And I unwrap the paper I bite into buns And I just can't it They the onions!