Seven o'clock in the Watchin somethin' on TV I'm out on the sofa When my wife in the room and sees me
And she says, Is this the Music' With Skynyrd?" And I say, "I know, say, it's gettin' late cha wanna do for dinner?
She says, "I had a big lunch So I'm not hungry" I said, "Well you know, I'm not either but I could eat"
She said, "So do you have in mind?" I said, "I don't know, about you?" She says, "I care, if you're hungry let's eat" I said, "That's what we're do!"
"But you gotta tell me What it is you're for!" And she says, "Let me What's in our refrigerator?"
I said, "Well, tuna, I know" She said, "That went bad a ago!" I said, "Is the okay?" She said, "You that yesterday!"
I up and I said, "I don't know Do you want to get delivered?" She's like, "Why I want to eat liver? I don't like liver!"
I'm like, "No, I 'delivered' " She's like, "I you say liver!" I'm like, "I know what I said" She's like, "Whatever, I don't want any liver!"
Well, I was say something But my cell started to ring Now who could be me? Well I checked my ID
It was just Larry callin' For the time today My said, "Let it go to voicemail" I said, "Okay"
"Where we? Oh, dinner, right So what do you do?" She said, "Why don't you whip up in the kitchen?" "Yeah?" I said, "Why you?"
And she says "Baby, can't we go out to dinner, please?" I no, she says yes, I says no, she says yes I says no, she says yes, oh, here's keys"
I step a bit closer Say, "Okay, where ya go?" She says, "How The Ivy?" I said, "Yeah, I don't know"
I feel like, gettin all dressed up And eatin' expensive says, "Olive Garden?" I say, "Nah, I'm not in the
And Burrito King would me gassy no doubt" She says, "Just about it" I said, "No, I swear I'm take you out!"
Then I get an I say, "I know we'll do!" She says, "What?" I say, "Guess" She says, "What?" I say, "We're to the drive-thru!"
So we out the front door Open the garage Then I the car doors And we get in car doors
Put my key in the And then I turn it Then we our seat belts As we out the driveway
Then we drive to the Heading off to the We're approaching the Getting to the drive-thru
Almost at the drive-thru Now we're here at the thru in line at the drive-thru Did I the drive-thru?
Well, here we are in the drive-thru Me and her Cars in front of us, cars in of us All waiting to order
There's some idiot in a With his brights on me I lean out the window and "Hey, what cha to do, blind me?"
My wife says, "Maybe we park We just go eat inside" I said, "I'm wearin' bunny So I ain't leavin' ride"
Now a on a speaker box Is sayin', "Can I take order, please?" I said, "Yes indeed, you can We'd like two hamburgers onions and cheese"
Then my says "Baby, hold on, I've my mind! I think I'm gonna have a sandwich this time"
I said, "You get a cheeseburger!" She says, "That's not I'm hungry for" I put my head in my and scream "I know who you are anymore!"
The on the speaker says "I don't all day!" I said, "Then our order And be on our way!
"I wanna get a chicken And I want a too" like, "You want onions on that?" I'm like, "Yeah, I said that I do
Plus we need curly And don't you dare it And two medium beers No, just one, we'll it"
I said, "I'm guessin' that You're probably not too So read me back my Let's make you got it right"
She says, "One, you want a sandwich Two, you want a Three, curly fries and a large beer" "Stop, go no further!"
"I ordered a large root beer I medium, not large!" Then she says, "We're a special I you at no charge"
"Oh" And all I could say was "oh" And she says, "Now theres somethin' That I really you should know
You can have unlimited For a quarter more" I say, "Great, except in the drive-thru So what would I want for?"
she says, "Wait a minute Your voice sounds so familiar, hey, is Paul? And my wife is all like, "No, ain't Paul Now tell me, this Paul?
She says, "Oh, he's some guy Who goes to with me I sat him last year And I off of him in Geometry
I said, "I a guy named Paul He used to be my He was bald And he moved to Pittsburgh summer
He also had problems And a bad infection on his toe" And she says, "Mister, please, you can right there That's way more I needed to know!"
And we both were quiet And things got intense And then she says, "Next please, That'll be five and eighty two cents"
So we inched ahead in Movin' painfully I got a little So I on the radio
Click, it off Because my was getting a headache So we just sat there quietly For her
Then I at her And she back at me And I said, "Um I think you somethin' in your teeth"
She turned from me And turned back and said, "Did I get it?" I said, "Yeah, well, I mean, of it But hey, ya know, don't it"
she said, "How about now?" I said, "Yeah, There's still a bit there but don't worry probably just a piece of toast"
Now we're at the pay Or whatever you it Put my hand in my I believe there's no wallet!
And the at the window's like "Well well well, be five eighty-two" I turn to my wife and say "How have you got on you?"
She just rolls her and says "I'll pay for I guess" So she reaches into her And busts out the American
I it to the lady And she says, "Oh gotta be cash only We don't credit cards here"
I took the card and said "Gee, really? Well sucks!" And that's I found out My wife was only carryin' bucks
I said, "I thought you to hit the ATM today" She says, "I got around to it So where's wallet anyway?
And I said, "Nevermind Just me to find some change" Now the lady at the Is at me kinda strange
And she says, "Mister, We gotta move this along" I said, "Now hold your stinkin' horses We be long"
So I around inside the glove box And checked the mat beneath my I a nickel in an ashtray And a couple pennies and a dime in the space between the
Before I had a little pile Of of every sort The lady counts it up and "You're about a dollar short"
And now my woman's got weird look Frozen on her She screams, "You I even really hungry in the first place"
And so I around To the again I and said, "Okay the chicken sandwich then"
So I up my change Pick up my And I drive to the pickup Man, I can't wait to eat
And now we see this acne Kid about Wearin' a dorky that says "Hello, my is Eugene"
And he hands me a bag I look him in the And I say to him "Hey, I get some ketchup for my fries?"
Well he at me And I at him And he at me And I at him
And he at me And I at him And he says, "I'm What did you again?"
I say, "Ketchup!" And he says, "Oh yeah, that's I just spaced out for a second I'm really kind of tonight"
And he hands me the ketchup And then we're finally away And the food is me mad With its intoxicating
I'm to death By the time we up at the traffic light I say, "Baby, that burger I gotta have a bite!"
So she in the bag And pulls out the And she hands me the And I up the burger
And then I the paper I into those buns And I just believe it forgot the onions!