Seven in the evening Watchin stupid on TV I'm zoned out on the When my comes in the room and sees me
And she says, Is 'Behind the Music' With Skynyrd?" And I say, "I know, say, it's gettin' late What cha wanna do for
She says, "I kinda had a big So I'm not hungry" I said, "Well you know, I'm not starvin' either but I eat"
She said, "So do you have in mind?" I said, "I don't know, about you?" She says, "I care, if you're hungry let's eat" I said, "That's we're gonna do!"
"But first you tell me What it is you're for!" And she says, "Let me What's in our refrigerator?"
I said, "Well, tuna, I know" She said, "That bad a week ago!" I said, "Is the okay?" She said, "You finished yesterday!"
I up and I said, "I don't know Do you want to get delivered?" She's like, "Why I want to eat liver? I even like liver!"
I'm like, "No, I said " like, "I heard you say liver!" I'm like, "I know what I said" She's like, "Whatever, I just want any liver!"
Well, I was gonna say But my phone started to ring Now who be callin' me? Well I my caller ID
It was cousin Larry callin' For the third time My said, "Let it go to voicemail" I said, "Okay"
"Where were we? Oh, dinner, So what do you do?" She said, "Why don't you whip up in the kitchen?" "Yeah?" I said, "Why you?"
And then she "Baby, we just go out to dinner, please?" I no, she says yes, I says no, she says yes I says no, she yes, oh, here's your keys"
I a little bit closer Say, "Okay, where ya go?" She says, "How The Ivy?" I said, "Yeah, I don't know"
I don't like, gettin all dressed up And eatin' expensive says, "Olive Garden?" I say, "Nah, I'm not in the
And Burrito would make me gassy no doubt" She says, "Just forget it" I said, "No, I swear I'm gonna you out!"
I get an idea I say, "I know what do!" She says, "What?" I say, "Guess" She says, "What?" I say, "We're to the drive-thru!"
So we out the front door Open the garage Then I open the car And we get in car doors
Put my key in the And then I it sideways Then we our seat belts As we pull out the
Then we to the drive-thru Heading off to the approaching the drive-thru Getting to the drive-thru
Almost there at the Now here at the drive thru Here in line at the Did I the drive-thru?
Well, here we are in the drive-thru Me and her Cars in of us, cars in back of us All just to order
There's some in a Volvo With his on behind me I lean out the and scream "Hey, what cha tryin to do, me?"
My wife says, "Maybe we should We could go eat inside" I said, "I'm wearin' slippers So I ain't leavin' ride"
Now a woman on a box Is sayin', "Can I take order, please?" I said, "Yes indeed, you can We'd like two hamburgers onions and cheese"
my wife says "Baby, on, I've changed my mind! I think I'm have a chicken sandwich Instead time"
I said, "You get a cheeseburger!" She says, "That's not what I'm for" I put my head in my and scream "I know who you are anymore!"
The on the speaker says "I don't all day!" I said, "Then take our And be on our way!
"I get a chicken sandwich And I want a too" She's like, "You want on that?" I'm like, "Yeah, I said that I do
we need curly fries And you dare forget it And two root beers No, one, we'll split it"
I said, "I'm guessin' that You're not too bright So read me my order Let's make you got it right"
She says, "One, you a chicken sandwich Two, you want a Three, curly fries and a root beer" "Stop, go no further!"
"I never ordered a large root I medium, not large!" Then she says, "We're a special I you at no charge"
"Oh" And all I could say was "oh" And she says, "Now theres somethin' That I think you should know
You can have refills For a quarter more" I say, "Great, except in the drive-thru So would I want that for?"
Then she says, "Wait a Your voice so familiar, hey, is this Paul? And my wife is all like, "No, that Paul Now tell me, this Paul?
She says, "Oh, he's just guy Who goes to school me I sat behind him year And I copied off of him in
I said, "I a guy named Paul He to be my plumber He was bald And he moved to Pittsburgh last
He also had problems And a bad infection on his toe" And she says, "Mister, please, you can right there That's way more I needed to know!"
And we both were quiet And got real intense And then she says, "Next please, be five dollars and eighty two cents"
So we inched in line painfully slow I got a little So I on the radio
Click, it off Because my wife was a headache So we both just sat quietly For her
Then I at her And she looked at me And I said, "Um I think you somethin' in your teeth"
She turned away me And then turned and said, "Did I get it?" I said, "Yeah, well, I mean, of it But hey, ya know, sweat it"
she said, "How about now?" I said, "Yeah, still a little bit there but don't worry It's just a piece of toast"
Now at the pay window Or whatever you it Put my hand in my I can't believe no wallet!
And the lady at the like "Well well well, that'll be eighty-two" I turn to my wife and say "How have you got on you?"
She just rolls her and says "I'll pay for I guess" So she reaches into her And busts out the American
I it to the lady And she says, "Oh It's be cash only We take credit cards here"
I took back the card and "Gee, really? Well sucks!" And that's I found out My wife was only three bucks
I said, "I you were to hit the ATM today" She says, "I got around to it So your wallet anyway?
And I said, "Nevermind Just help me to some change" Now the at the window Is looking at me strange
And she says, "Mister, We gotta this line along" I said, "Now hold your stinkin' horses We be long"
So I looked around inside the box And checked the mat my feet I a nickel in an ashtray And a couple pennies and a dime in the between the seats
Before long I had a little Of coins of sort The counts it up and says "You're about a dollar short"
And now my woman's got this weird Frozen on her She screams, "You I even really hungry in the first place"
And so I turned To the again I and said, "Okay the chicken sandwich then"
So I up my change Pick up my And I to the pickup window Man, I can't wait to eat
And now we see this acne Kid about Wearin' a dorky nametag says "Hello, my is Eugene"
And he hands me a bag I look him in the And I say to him "Hey, I get some ketchup for my fries?"
Well he at me And I at him And he at me And I at him
And he at me And I at him And he says, "I'm What did you again?"
I say, "Ketchup!" And he says, "Oh yeah, that's I just spaced out for a second I'm kind of burnt tonight"
And then he hands me the And we're finally drivin' away And the is drivin' me mad its intoxicating bouquet
I'm starvin' to By the time we up at the traffic light I say, "Baby, that burger I just have a bite!"
So she in the bag And pulls out the And she hands me the And I pick up the
And I unwrap the paper I bite into those And I just can't it forgot the onions!