Seven o'clock in the somethin' stupid on TV I'm out on the sofa When my wife comes in the and sees me
And she says, Is 'Behind the Music' With Skynyrd?" And I say, "I don't know, say, it's late What cha do for dinner?
She says, "I kinda had a big So I'm not hungry" I said, "Well you know, I'm not starvin' either but I eat"
She said, "So what do you in mind?" I said, "I don't know, about you?" She says, "I don't care, if you're hungry eat" I said, "That's what gonna do!"
"But first you tell me What it is hungry for!" And she says, "Let me left in our refrigerator?"
I said, "Well, tuna, I know" She said, "That bad a week ago!" I said, "Is the okay?" She said, "You finished yesterday!"
I hopped up and I said, "I don't Do you want to get delivered?" like, "Why would I want to eat liver? I don't like liver!"
I'm like, "No, I said " like, "I heard you say liver!" I'm like, "I should what I said" She's like, "Whatever, I don't want any liver!"
Well, I was gonna say But my cell phone to ring Now who could be me? Well I checked my ID
It was just cousin callin' For the third today My said, "Let it go to voicemail" I said, "Okay"
"Where we? Oh, dinner, right So what do you do?" She said, "Why don't you whip up in the kitchen?" "Yeah?" I said, "Why you?"
And she says "Baby, we just go out to dinner, please?" I says no, she says yes, I no, she says yes I says no, she says yes, oh, here's keys"
I step a bit closer Say, "Okay, ya wanna go?" She says, "How The Ivy?" I said, "Yeah, well I know"
I don't like, gettin all dressed up And expensive food says, "Olive Garden?" I say, "Nah, I'm not in the
And Burrito King make me gassy no doubt" She says, "Just about it" I said, "No, I swear I'm gonna you out!"
Then I get an I say, "I know what do!" She says, "What?" I say, "Guess" She says, "What?" I say, "We're to the drive-thru!"
So we head out the front Open the garage Then I the car doors And we get in those car
Put my key in the And I turn it sideways Then we fasten our seat As we out the driveway
we drive to the drive-thru Heading off to the approaching the drive-thru Getting to the drive-thru
Almost there at the Now we're at the drive thru in line at the drive-thru Did I the drive-thru?
Well, here we are in the line Me and her Cars in front of us, in back of us All just waiting to
There's some in a Volvo his brights on behind me I lean out the and scream "Hey, what cha tryin to do, me?"
My wife says, "Maybe we should We just go eat inside" I said, "I'm wearin' slippers So I ain't leavin' ride"
Now a woman on a box Is sayin', "Can I your order, please?" I said, "Yes indeed, you can like two hamburgers with onions and cheese"
Then my wife "Baby, hold on, I've my mind! I think I'm gonna have a chicken this time"
I said, "You get a cheeseburger!" She says, "That's not I'm hungry for" I put my head in my hands and "I don't who you are anymore!"
The voice on the speaker "I don't all day!" I said, "Then take our And be on our way!
"I get a chicken sandwich And I a cheeseburger too" She's like, "You want on that?" I'm like, "Yeah, I already said I do
Plus we curly fries And don't you dare it And two medium beers No, just one, split it"
Then I said, "I'm that You're probably not too So me back my order Let's sure you got it right"
She says, "One, you want a sandwich Two, you a cheeseburger Three, curly and a large root beer" "Stop, go no further!"
"I never ordered a large root I medium, not large!" she says, "We're havin' a special I you at no charge"
"Oh" And all I could say was "oh" And she says, "Now theres else That I really think you should
You can have refills For just a more" I say, "Great, except we're in the So what I want that for?"
Then she says, "Wait a Your sounds so familiar, hey, is this Paul? And my wife is all like, "No, that Paul Now tell me, this Paul?
She says, "Oh, he's just guy Who goes to with me I sat him last year And I copied off of him in
I said, "I know a guy Paul He to be my plumber He was prematurely And he moved to Pittsburgh summer
He also had bladder And a bad infection on his toe" And she says, "Mister, please, you can stop there way more than I needed to know!"
And then we were quiet And got real intense And she says, "Next window please, That'll be dollars and eighty two cents"
So we inched in line painfully slow I got a little So I on the radio
Click, it off Because my was getting a headache So we both just sat there For her
Then I at her And she back at me And I said, "Um I think you have in your teeth"
She turned away me And then back and said, "Did I get it?" I said, "Yeah, well, I mean, of it But hey, ya know, sweat it"
Then she said, "How now?" I said, "Yeah, There's still a bit there but don't worry It's just a piece of toast"
Now we're at the pay Or whatever you it Put my in my pocket I believe there's no wallet!
And the lady at the window's "Well well, that'll be five eighty-two" I around to my wife and say "How have you got on you?"
She just rolls her eyes and "I'll pay for I guess" So she reaches into her And busts out the Express
I hand it to the And she says, "Oh It's gotta be only We don't take cards here"
I took the card and said "Gee, really? Well sucks!" And that's I found out My was only carryin' three bucks
I said, "I you were to hit the ATM today" She says, "I got around to it So your wallet anyway?
And I said, "Nevermind Just help me to find change" Now the lady at the Is looking at me kinda
And she says, "Mister, We move this line along" I said, "Now hold your stinkin' horses We be long"
So I around inside the glove box And the mat beneath my feet I a nickel in an ashtray And a pennies and a dime in the space between the seats
long I had a little pile Of coins of every The counts it up and says "You're still about a short"
And now my woman's got this look Frozen on her She screams, "You I wasn't even really hungry in the place"
And so I around To the cashier I and said, "Okay Forget the chicken then"
So I pick up my up my receipt And I to the pickup window Man, I can't wait to eat
And now we see this ridden Kid about a dorky nametag that says "Hello, my is Eugene"
And he hands me a bag I look him in the And I say to him "Hey, Could I get some for my fries?"
he looks at me And I at him And he at me And I at him
And he at me And I at him And he says, "I'm did you want again?"
I say, "Ketchup!" And he says, "Oh yeah, right I spaced out there for a second I'm really of burnt tonight"
And then he hands me the And then we're finally drivin' And the food is me mad With its intoxicating
I'm starvin' to By the time we pull up at the light I say, "Baby, gimme that I just gotta a bite!"
So she in the bag And out the burger And she me the burger And I up the burger
And then I the paper I bite into those And I just believe it forgot the onions!