Seven o'clock in the Watchin stupid on TV I'm out on the sofa When my comes in the room and sees me
And she says, Is 'Behind the Music' With Skynyrd?" And I say, "I don't know, say, it's late cha wanna do for dinner?
She says, "I kinda had a big So I'm not hungry" I said, "Well you know, I'm not either but I could eat"
She said, "So do you have in mind?" I said, "I don't know, about you?" She says, "I don't care, if hungry let's eat" I said, "That's what gonna do!"
"But first you gotta me What it is you're for!" And she says, "Let me left in our refrigerator?"
I said, "Well, tuna, I know" She said, "That bad a week ago!" I said, "Is the okay?" She said, "You that yesterday!"
I hopped up and I said, "I know Do you to get something delivered?" She's like, "Why I want to eat liver? I don't like liver!"
I'm like, "No, I 'delivered' " She's like, "I you say liver!" I'm like, "I should know I said" like, "Whatever, I just don't want any liver!"
Well, I was say something But my cell started to ring Now who could be me? I checked my caller ID
It was just cousin callin' For the third time My said, "Let it go to voicemail" I said, "Okay"
"Where we? Oh, dinner, right So what do you do?" She said, "Why you whip up somethin in the kitchen?" "Yeah?" I said, "Why you?"
And then she "Baby, can't we go out to dinner, please?" I no, she says yes, I says no, she says yes I no, she says yes, oh, here's your keys"
I step a bit closer Say, "Okay, where ya go?" She says, "How The Ivy?" I said, "Yeah, I don't know"
I don't like, gettin all dressed up And eatin' expensive says, "Olive Garden?" I say, "Nah, I'm not in the
And Burrito King would me gassy no doubt" She says, "Just about it" I said, "No, I I'm gonna take you out!"
I get an idea I say, "I what we'll do!" She says, "What?" I say, "Guess" She says, "What?" I say, "We're to the drive-thru!"
So we out the front door Open the garage Then I open the car And we get in those car
Put my key in the And then I turn it we fasten our seat belts As we out the driveway
Then we drive to the Heading off to the We're the drive-thru Getting to the drive-thru
Almost there at the Now we're at the drive thru in line at the drive-thru Did I mention the
Well, we are in the drive-thru line Me and her Cars in of us, cars in back of us All just waiting to
some idiot in a Volvo With his on behind me I lean out the and scream "Hey, what cha to do, blind me?"
My wife says, "Maybe we should We just go eat inside" I said, "I'm wearin' bunny So I ain't this ride"
Now a woman on a box Is sayin', "Can I take order, please?" I said, "Yes indeed, you can We'd like two with onions and cheese"
my wife says "Baby, hold on, I've my mind! I think I'm gonna have a chicken this time"
I said, "You get a cheeseburger!" She says, "That's not I'm hungry for" I put my head in my hands and "I know who you are anymore!"
The voice on the speaker "I have all day!" I said, "Then our order And be on our way!
"I get a chicken sandwich And I want a too" She's like, "You onions on that?" I'm like, "Yeah, I already said I do
Plus we need curly And you dare forget it And two root beers No, just one, split it"
Then I said, "I'm guessin' You're not too bright So read me my order make sure you got it right"
She says, "One, you want a chicken Two, you want a Three, curly fries and a large beer" "Stop, go no further!"
"I ordered a large root beer I medium, not large!" Then she says, "We're havin' a I you at no charge"
"Oh" And all I could say was "oh" And she says, "Now theres else I really think you should know
You can unlimited refills For just a more" I say, "Great, except we're in the So what would I that for?"
Then she says, "Wait a Your sounds so familiar, hey, is this Paul? And my is all like, "No, that ain't Paul Now tell me, who's Paul?
She says, "Oh, just some guy Who goes to school me I sat behind him year And I copied off of him in
I said, "I a guy named Paul He to be my plumber He was prematurely And he moved to Pittsburgh summer
He also had bladder And a bad infection on his toe" And she says, "Mister, please, you can stop there That's way than I needed to know!"
And then we both quiet And got real intense And then she says, "Next please, That'll be five dollars and two cents"
So we inched ahead in Movin' slow I got a little So I turned on the
Click, it off my wife was getting a headache So we both sat there quietly For her
I looked at her And she back at me And I said, "Um I think you somethin' in your teeth"
She turned from me And turned back and said, "Did I get it?" I said, "Yeah, well, I mean, of it But hey, ya know, sweat it"
Then she said, "How now?" I said, "Yeah, still a little bit there but don't worry It's just a piece of toast"
Now we're at the pay Or whatever you it Put my hand in my I believe there's no wallet!
And the at the window's like "Well well, that'll be five eighty-two" I turn around to my and say "How have you got on you?"
She just her eyes and says "I'll pay for I guess" So she reaches into her And busts out the American
I it to the lady And she says, "Oh It's gotta be cash We don't take credit here"
I took back the card and "Gee, Well that sucks!" And that's I found out My wife was only carryin' three
I said, "I thought you to hit the ATM today" She says, "I got around to it So where's your anyway?
And I said, "Nevermind help me to find some change" Now the lady at the Is looking at me kinda
And she says, "Mister, We gotta move line along" I said, "Now your stinkin' horses lady We be long"
So I looked around inside the box And checked the mat beneath my I found a in an ashtray And a couple pennies and a in the space between the seats
Before long I had a pile Of of every sort The lady counts it up and "You're still a dollar short"
And now my got this weird look on her face She screams, "You I wasn't really hungry in the first place"
And so I turned To the again I and said, "Okay Forget the chicken then"
So I pick up my Pick up my And I drive to the pickup Man, I just wait to eat
And now we see this acne Kid sixteen Wearin' a dorky nametag says "Hello, my is Eugene"
And he hands me a bag I look him in the And I say to him "Hey, Could I get ketchup for my fries?"
he looks at me And I at him And he at me And I at him
And he at me And I at him And he says, "I'm did you want again?"
I say, "Ketchup!" And he says, "Oh yeah, right I just spaced out for a second I'm really kind of tonight"
And he hands me the ketchup And then we're drivin' away And the food is me mad its intoxicating bouquet
I'm starvin' to By the time we up at the traffic light I say, "Baby, gimme burger I just have a bite!"
So she in the bag And out the burger And she hands me the And I pick up the
And I unwrap the paper I bite into buns And I can't believe it They the onions!