Seven in the evening Watchin stupid on TV I'm out on the sofa my wife comes in the room and sees me
And she says, Is 'Behind the Music' With Skynyrd?" And I say, "I know, say, it's gettin' late What cha wanna do for
She says, "I kinda had a big So I'm not hungry" I said, "Well you know, I'm not starvin' either but I eat"
She said, "So do you have in mind?" I said, "I don't know, what you?" She says, "I care, if you're hungry let's eat" I said, "That's what we're do!"
"But first you gotta me What it is hungry for!" And she says, "Let me What's in our refrigerator?"
I said, "Well, tuna, I know" She said, "That went bad a ago!" I said, "Is the okay?" She said, "You finished yesterday!"
I hopped up and I said, "I don't Do you want to get delivered?" She's like, "Why I want to eat liver? I don't even liver!"
I'm like, "No, I said " She's like, "I you say liver!" I'm like, "I should know I said" She's like, "Whatever, I just want any liver!"
Well, I was gonna say But my phone started to ring Now who could be me? Well I checked my ID
It was just Larry callin' For the time today My said, "Let it go to voicemail" I said, "Okay"
"Where we? Oh, dinner, right So what do you do?" She said, "Why don't you whip up in the kitchen?" "Yeah?" I said, "Why you?"
And then she "Baby, we just go out to dinner, please?" I says no, she says yes, I no, she says yes I says no, she says yes, oh, here's keys"
I step a little bit Say, "Okay, ya wanna go?" She says, "How The Ivy?" I said, "Yeah, well I know"
I don't feel like, all dressed up And expensive food says, "Olive Garden?" I say, "Nah, I'm not in the
And Burrito King would me gassy no doubt" She says, "Just forget it" I said, "No, I swear I'm take you out!"
I get an idea I say, "I know what do!" She says, "What?" I say, "Guess" She says, "What?" I say, "We're to the drive-thru!"
So we out the front door the garage door Then I the car doors And we get in those car
Put my key in the And then I turn it we fasten our seat belts As we pull out the
we drive to the drive-thru Heading off to the We're the drive-thru close to the drive-thru
Almost there at the Now we're here at the thru Here in at the drive-thru Did I mention the
Well, we are in the drive-thru line Me and her Cars in front of us, cars in of us All waiting to order
There's some in a Volvo his brights on behind me I lean out the and scream "Hey, cha tryin to do, blind me?"
My wife says, "Maybe we park We could go eat inside" I said, "I'm bunny slippers So I ain't leavin' ride"
Now a on a speaker box Is sayin', "Can I take order, please?" I said, "Yes indeed, you can We'd two hamburgers with onions and cheese"
Then my wife "Baby, hold on, I've my mind! I I'm gonna have a chicken sandwich Instead time"
I said, "You get a cheeseburger!" She says, "That's not I'm hungry for" I put my head in my and scream "I don't who you are anymore!"
The voice on the speaker "I have all day!" I said, "Then take our And be on our way!
"I wanna get a sandwich And I want a too" She's like, "You want on that?" I'm like, "Yeah, I already said I do
Plus we need fries And don't you dare it And two medium beers No, one, we'll split it"
Then I said, "I'm guessin' probably not too bright So read me my order make sure you got it right"
She says, "One, you want a chicken Two, you a cheeseburger Three, curly fries and a root beer" "Stop, go no further!"
"I never a large root beer I medium, not large!" she says, "We're havin' a special I you at no charge"
"Oh" And all I could say was "oh" And she says, "Now theres somethin' That I really think you should
You can have unlimited For just a more" I say, "Great, except in the drive-thru So what would I that for?"
Then she says, "Wait a Your voice so familiar, hey, is this Paul? And my wife is all like, "No, that ain't Now tell me, who's Paul?
She says, "Oh, he's just guy Who goes to with me I sat behind him last And I copied off of him in
I said, "I know a guy named He used to be my He was prematurely And he moved to Pittsburgh summer
He had bladder problems And a bad infection on his toe" And she says, "Mister, please, you can stop right That's way than I needed to know!"
And then we both were And things got intense And she says, "Next window please, That'll be five dollars and two cents"
So we inched in line Movin' slow I got a bored So I on the radio
Click, it off Because my was getting a headache So we both just sat there For her
Then I at her And she back at me And I said, "Um I think you have somethin' in teeth"
She turned away me And then turned and said, "Did I get it?" I said, "Yeah, well, I mean, of it But hey, ya know, don't it"
she said, "How about now?" I said, "Yeah, There's still a little bit there but don't It's just a piece of toast"
Now at the pay window Or whatever you it Put my in my pocket I believe there's no wallet!
And the lady at the window's "Well well well, be five eighty-two" I turn to my wife and say "How have you got on you?"
She just rolls her and says "I'll pay for I guess" So she into her purse And busts out the American
I hand it to the And she says, "Oh It's gotta be only We take credit cards here"
I took back the card and "Gee, really? Well sucks!" And that's I found out My was only carryin' three bucks
I said, "I thought you to hit the ATM today" She says, "I got around to it So where's your wallet
And I said, "Nevermind help me to find some change" Now the lady at the Is looking at me strange
And she says, "Mister, We gotta move this along" I said, "Now hold your stinkin' lady We be long"
So I looked around inside the box And the mat beneath my feet I found a nickel in an And a couple pennies and a dime in the space between the
long I had a little pile Of coins of every The lady it up and says "You're about a dollar short"
And now my woman's got weird look Frozen on her She screams, "You I wasn't even really hungry in the place"
And so I turned To the again I and said, "Okay the chicken sandwich then"
So I pick up my Pick up my And I drive to the window Man, I can't wait to eat
And now we see this ridden Kid about a dorky nametag that says "Hello, my is Eugene"
And he hands me a bag I him in the eyes And I say to him "Hey, Could I get some for my fries?"
Well he at me And I at him And he at me And I at him
And he at me And I at him And he says, "I'm What did you again?"
I say, "Ketchup!" And he says, "Oh yeah, right I just spaced out there for a I'm kind of burnt tonight"
And then he hands me the And then we're finally drivin' And the food is me mad With its bouquet
I'm starvin' to By the time we pull up at the light I say, "Baby, gimme that I gotta have a bite!"
So she in the bag And pulls out the And she hands me the And I up the burger
And then I unwrap the I into those buns And I just believe it They the onions!