Seven in the evening Watchin stupid on TV I'm out on the sofa When my wife comes in the and sees me
And she says, Is 'Behind the Music' With Skynyrd?" And I say, "I don't know, say, it's late cha wanna do for dinner?
She says, "I kinda had a big So I'm not hungry" I said, "Well you know, I'm not starvin' either but I eat"
She said, "So what do you in mind?" I said, "I don't know, about you?" She says, "I don't care, if hungry let's eat" I said, "That's what gonna do!"
"But first you gotta me What it is hungry for!" And she says, "Let me left in our refrigerator?"
I said, "Well, tuna, I know" She said, "That bad a week ago!" I said, "Is the okay?" She said, "You that yesterday!"
I hopped up and I said, "I know Do you want to get delivered?" She's like, "Why I want to eat liver? I don't even liver!"
I'm like, "No, I said " She's like, "I you say liver!" I'm like, "I should know I said" She's like, "Whatever, I just don't any liver!"
Well, I was gonna say But my cell started to ring Now who could be me? I checked my caller ID
It was just cousin callin' For the time today My said, "Let it go to voicemail" I said, "Okay"
"Where were we? Oh, dinner, So what do you do?" She said, "Why don't you up somethin in the kitchen?" "Yeah?" I said, "Why you?"
And then she "Baby, can't we go out to dinner, please?" I says no, she says yes, I no, she says yes I no, she says yes, oh, here's your keys"
I step a little bit Say, "Okay, where ya go?" She says, "How The Ivy?" I said, "Yeah, I don't know"
I feel like, gettin all dressed up And expensive food says, "Olive Garden?" I say, "Nah, I'm not in the
And Burrito would make me gassy no doubt" She says, "Just forget it" I said, "No, I swear I'm take you out!"
I get an idea I say, "I what we'll do!" She says, "What?" I say, "Guess" She says, "What?" I say, "We're to the drive-thru!"
So we head out the front the garage door Then I the car doors And we get in those car
Put my key in the And then I it sideways Then we fasten our belts As we out the driveway
Then we to the drive-thru Heading off to the approaching the drive-thru Getting close to the
there at the drive-thru Now we're here at the drive in line at the drive-thru Did I the drive-thru?
Well, here we are in the drive-thru Me and her Cars in front of us, cars in of us All just to order
There's some in a Volvo With his on behind me I out the window and scream "Hey, what cha to do, blind me?"
My wife says, "Maybe we should We could go eat inside" I said, "I'm wearin' bunny So I leavin' this ride"
Now a on a speaker box Is sayin', "Can I your order, please?" I said, "Yes indeed, you can like two hamburgers with onions and cheese"
Then my wife "Baby, hold on, changed my mind! I think I'm gonna have a chicken Instead time"
I said, "You get a cheeseburger!" She says, "That's not what I'm for" I put my head in my hands and "I know who you are anymore!"
The on the speaker says "I have all day!" I said, "Then take our And be on our way!
"I get a chicken sandwich And I a cheeseburger too" like, "You want onions on that?" I'm like, "Yeah, I said that I do
Plus we need fries And you dare forget it And two root beers No, one, we'll split it"
I said, "I'm guessin' that You're not too bright So me back my order make sure you got it right"
She says, "One, you want a sandwich Two, you a cheeseburger Three, curly fries and a root beer" "Stop, go no further!"
"I never a large root beer I medium, not large!" she says, "We're havin' a special I you at no charge"
"Oh" And that's all I say was "oh" And she says, "Now theres else I really think you should know
You can have refills For just a more" I say, "Great, we're in the drive-thru So would I want that for?"
Then she says, "Wait a Your voice sounds so familiar, hey, is Paul? And my wife is all like, "No, ain't Paul Now me, who's this Paul?
She says, "Oh, he's some guy Who goes to with me I sat behind him last And I copied off of him in
I said, "I a guy named Paul He to be my plumber He was prematurely And he to Pittsburgh last summer
He also had problems And a bad infection on his toe" And she says, "Mister, please, you can stop right way more than I needed to know!"
And then we both were And got real intense And then she says, "Next please, That'll be five dollars and two cents"
So we ahead in line Movin' slow I got a bored So I on the radio
Click, it off my wife was getting a headache So we both just sat there For her
Then I at her And she back at me And I said, "Um I think you have somethin' in teeth"
She away from me And turned back and said, "Did I get it?" I said, "Yeah, well, I mean, of it But hey, ya know, don't it"
Then she said, "How now?" I said, "Yeah, There's still a bit there but don't worry It's just a piece of toast"
Now we're at the pay Or you call it Put my hand in my I can't believe no wallet!
And the lady at the like "Well well well, that'll be eighty-two" I turn to my wife and say "How much you got on you?"
She just rolls her and says "I'll pay for I guess" So she into her purse And busts out the Express
I it to the lady And she says, "Oh It's gotta be cash We don't credit cards here"
I took the card and said "Gee, Well that sucks!" And that's when I out My wife was only carryin' three
I said, "I thought you to hit the ATM today" She says, "I got around to it So your wallet anyway?
And I said, "Nevermind Just help me to some change" Now the at the window Is at me kinda strange
And she says, "Mister, We gotta move this along" I said, "Now hold your stinkin' horses We be long"
So I looked around the glove box And checked the mat beneath my I found a nickel in an And a pennies and a dime in the space between the seats
Before long I had a little Of coins of sort The counts it up and says "You're still a dollar short"
And now my woman's got weird look Frozen on her She screams, "You I even really hungry in the first place"
And so I turned To the cashier I and said, "Okay Forget the sandwich then"
So I up my change Pick up my And I to the pickup window Man, I just wait to eat
And now we see this acne Kid about Wearin' a dorky that says "Hello, my is Eugene"
And he me a paper bag I him in the eyes And I say to him "Hey, Could I get ketchup for my fries?"
Well he at me And I at him And he at me And I at him
And he at me And I at him And he says, "I'm did you want again?"
I say, "Ketchup!" And he says, "Oh yeah, right I spaced out there for a second I'm really kind of tonight"
And he hands me the ketchup And then finally drivin' away And the food is me mad With its intoxicating
I'm starvin' to By the time we pull up at the traffic I say, "Baby, gimme that I just gotta a bite!"
So she in the bag And out the burger And she me the burger And I pick up the
And I unwrap the paper I bite into those And I can't believe it They the onions!