Seven o'clock in the Watchin somethin' on TV I'm out on the sofa When my comes in the room and sees me
And she says, Is this the Music' Lynyrd Skynyrd?" And I say, "I don't know, say, it's late What cha wanna do for
She says, "I kinda had a big So I'm not hungry" I said, "Well you know, I'm not starvin' either but I eat"
She said, "So what do you in mind?" I said, "I don't know, about you?" She says, "I don't care, if hungry let's eat" I said, "That's we're gonna do!"
"But first you gotta me it is you're hungry for!" And she says, "Let me left in our refrigerator?"
I said, "Well, tuna, I know" She said, "That bad a week ago!" I said, "Is the okay?" She said, "You finished yesterday!"
I up and I said, "I don't know Do you want to get delivered?" like, "Why would I want to eat liver? I don't like liver!"
I'm like, "No, I said " She's like, "I you say liver!" I'm like, "I know what I said" like, "Whatever, I just don't want any liver!"
Well, I was gonna say But my cell phone to ring Now who could be me? Well I my caller ID
It was just cousin Larry For the third time My said, "Let it go to voicemail" I said, "Okay"
"Where were we? Oh, dinner, So do you wanna do?" She said, "Why don't you whip up in the kitchen?" "Yeah?" I said, "Why you?"
And she says "Baby, we just go out to dinner, please?" I says no, she says yes, I says no, she yes I says no, she says yes, oh, your keys"
I a little bit closer Say, "Okay, where ya go?" She says, "How The Ivy?" I said, "Yeah, well I know"
I don't like, gettin all dressed up And eatin' food says, "Olive Garden?" I say, "Nah, I'm not in the
And King would make me gassy no doubt" She says, "Just about it" I said, "No, I swear I'm take you out!"
I get an idea I say, "I know what do!" She says, "What?" I say, "Guess" She says, "What?" I say, "We're to the drive-thru!"
So we head out the front Open the door Then I open the car And we get in car doors
Put my key in the And I turn it sideways Then we our seat belts As we out the driveway
Then we to the drive-thru off to the drive-thru We're the drive-thru close to the drive-thru
Almost there at the Now we're at the drive thru Here in at the drive-thru Did I the drive-thru?
Well, here we are in the drive-thru Me and her Cars in of us, cars in back of us All just to order
There's some in a Volvo With his brights on me I out the window and scream "Hey, what cha to do, blind me?"
My says, "Maybe we should park We could go eat inside" I said, "I'm wearin' slippers So I ain't this ride"
Now a on a speaker box Is sayin', "Can I your order, please?" I said, "Yes indeed, you can We'd like two hamburgers onions and cheese"
Then my says "Baby, on, I've changed my mind! I think I'm gonna have a chicken Instead time"
I said, "You get a cheeseburger!" She says, "That's not what I'm for" I put my head in my hands and "I don't who you are anymore!"
The voice on the says "I don't all day!" I said, "Then our order And be on our way!
"I get a chicken sandwich And I a cheeseburger too" She's like, "You onions on that?" I'm like, "Yeah, I said that I do
Plus we need curly And don't you dare it And two medium beers No, just one, we'll it"
Then I said, "I'm that probably not too bright So read me back my make sure you got it right"
She says, "One, you want a chicken Two, you want a Three, fries and a large root beer" "Stop, go no further!"
"I ordered a large root beer I medium, not large!" Then she says, "We're havin' a I you at no charge"
"Oh" And all I could say was "oh" And she says, "Now theres else That I really you should know
You can have refills For a quarter more" I say, "Great, except in the drive-thru So what would I that for?"
she says, "Wait a minute Your voice so familiar, hey, is this Paul? And my wife is all like, "No, that ain't Now tell me, who's Paul?
She says, "Oh, he's just guy Who goes to school me I sat behind him year And I off of him in Geometry
I said, "I know a guy Paul He to be my plumber He was bald And he moved to last summer
He also had bladder And a bad infection on his toe" And she says, "Mister, please, you can right there That's way more than I to know!"
And then we were quiet And got real intense And then she says, "Next please, That'll be dollars and eighty two cents"
So we inched ahead in Movin' painfully I got a little So I on the radio
Click, it off Because my wife was getting a So we both just sat quietly For her
I looked at her And she looked at me And I said, "Um I think you have in your teeth"
She turned from me And then back and said, "Did I get it?" I said, "Yeah, well, I mean, of it But hey, ya know, sweat it"
she said, "How about now?" I said, "Yeah, There's still a little bit there but worry It's probably a piece of toast"
Now at the pay window Or you call it Put my in my pocket I can't there's no wallet!
And the lady at the window's "Well well well, that'll be eighty-two" I turn around to my and say "How much you got on you?"
She just her eyes and says "I'll pay for I guess" So she reaches into her And busts out the American
I hand it to the And she says, "Oh It's be cash only We don't take credit here"
I took back the and said "Gee, Well that sucks!" And when I found out My wife was only carryin' bucks
I said, "I you were to hit the ATM today" She says, "I never got to it So your wallet anyway?
And I said, "Nevermind help me to find some change" Now the at the window Is looking at me kinda
And she says, "Mister, We gotta this line along" I said, "Now hold your stinkin' lady We be long"
So I looked around the glove box And checked the mat my feet I a nickel in an ashtray And a couple pennies and a dime in the space the seats
long I had a little pile Of coins of every The lady it up and says "You're about a dollar short"
And now my woman's got weird look Frozen on her She screams, "You I wasn't really hungry in the first place"
And so I turned To the again I and said, "Okay Forget the chicken then"
So I pick up my up my receipt And I drive to the window Man, I can't wait to eat
And now we see this acne Kid about a dorky nametag that says "Hello, my is Eugene"
And he hands me a bag I him in the eyes And I say to him "Hey, Could I get ketchup for my fries?"
Well he at me And I at him And he at me And I at him
And he at me And I at him And he says, "I'm did you want again?"
I say, "Ketchup!" And he says, "Oh yeah, right I spaced out there for a second I'm kind of burnt tonight"
And then he me the ketchup And then we're drivin' away And the is drivin' me mad With its intoxicating
I'm to death By the time we pull up at the light I say, "Baby, gimme that I just gotta a bite!"
So she in the bag And pulls out the And she me the burger And I up the burger
And I unwrap the paper I bite those buns And I can't believe it They the onions!