Seven o'clock in the Watchin somethin' on TV I'm zoned out on the When my wife in the room and sees me
And she says, Is 'Behind the Music' Lynyrd Skynyrd?" And I say, "I know, say, it's gettin' late What cha do for dinner?
She says, "I had a big lunch So I'm not hungry" I said, "Well you know, I'm not starvin' either but I eat"
She said, "So what do you in mind?" I said, "I know, what about you?" She says, "I care, if you're hungry let's eat" I said, "That's what gonna do!"
"But first you tell me What it is you're for!" And she says, "Let me left in our refrigerator?"
I said, "Well, tuna, I know" She said, "That went bad a ago!" I said, "Is the okay?" She said, "You finished yesterday!"
I hopped up and I said, "I don't Do you want to get delivered?" She's like, "Why I want to eat liver? I don't like liver!"
I'm like, "No, I 'delivered' " like, "I heard you say liver!" I'm like, "I know what I said" She's like, "Whatever, I just don't any liver!"
Well, I was gonna say But my cell phone started to Now who could be me? I checked my caller ID
It was just cousin Larry For the time today My said, "Let it go to voicemail" I said, "Okay"
"Where were we? Oh, dinner, So what do you do?" She said, "Why you whip up somethin in the kitchen?" "Yeah?" I said, "Why you?"
And she says "Baby, we just go out to dinner, please?" I no, she says yes, I says no, she says yes I no, she says yes, oh, here's your keys"
I step a bit closer Say, "Okay, ya wanna go?" She says, "How The Ivy?" I said, "Yeah, I don't know"
I don't like, gettin all dressed up And eatin' food says, "Olive Garden?" I say, "Nah, I'm not in the
And King would make me gassy no doubt" She says, "Just about it" I said, "No, I swear I'm gonna you out!"
I get an idea I say, "I know we'll do!" She says, "What?" I say, "Guess" She says, "What?" I say, "We're to the drive-thru!"
So we out the front door the garage door Then I open the car And we get in car doors
Put my key in the And I turn it sideways we fasten our seat belts As we pull out the
Then we to the drive-thru Heading off to the We're approaching the Getting close to the
there at the drive-thru Now here at the drive thru Here in at the drive-thru Did I mention the
Well, here we are in the drive-thru Me and her Cars in front of us, in back of us All just to order
There's some in a Volvo With his on behind me I lean out the window and "Hey, what cha tryin to do, me?"
My wife says, "Maybe we should We could go eat inside" I said, "I'm bunny slippers So I ain't this ride"
Now a woman on a box Is sayin', "Can I your order, please?" I said, "Yes indeed, you can We'd like two hamburgers onions and cheese"
Then my wife "Baby, hold on, I've my mind! I think I'm gonna have a chicken Instead time"
I said, "You get a cheeseburger!" She says, "That's not I'm hungry for" I put my in my hands and scream "I know who you are anymore!"
The voice on the says "I don't all day!" I said, "Then our order And be on our way!
"I wanna get a sandwich And I want a too" She's like, "You want on that?" I'm like, "Yeah, I already said I do
Plus we need fries And you dare forget it And two medium root No, one, we'll split it"
Then I said, "I'm that probably not too bright So read me my order Let's make you got it right"
She says, "One, you a chicken sandwich Two, you want a Three, fries and a large root beer" "Stop, go no further!"
"I never ordered a large root I medium, not large!" Then she says, "We're a special I you at no charge"
"Oh" And all I could say was "oh" And she says, "Now theres else That I think you should know
You can have unlimited For a quarter more" I say, "Great, we're in the drive-thru So what would I that for?"
she says, "Wait a minute Your voice so familiar, hey, is this Paul? And my wife is all like, "No, that ain't Now tell me, this Paul?
She says, "Oh, he's just guy Who goes to school me I sat behind him last And I off of him in Geometry
I said, "I know a guy named He to be my plumber He was prematurely And he moved to Pittsburgh summer
He also had bladder And a bad infection on his toe" And she says, "Mister, please, you can stop right That's way than I needed to know!"
And then we both were And things got intense And then she says, "Next please, That'll be five dollars and two cents"
So we inched ahead in Movin' slow I got a bored So I on the radio
Click, it off Because my wife was a headache So we both just sat quietly For her
Then I at her And she back at me And I said, "Um I think you have somethin' in teeth"
She away from me And then back and said, "Did I get it?" I said, "Yeah, well, I mean, of it But hey, ya know, don't it"
Then she said, "How now?" I said, "Yeah, There's still a little bit there but don't It's probably a piece of toast"
Now we're at the pay Or whatever you it Put my in my pocket I can't believe no wallet!
And the lady at the like "Well well, that'll be five eighty-two" I turn around to my and say "How much you got on you?"
She rolls her eyes and says "I'll pay for I guess" So she reaches into her And busts out the American
I it to the lady And she says, "Oh gotta be cash only We take credit cards here"
I took back the card and "Gee, really? Well sucks!" And that's I found out My wife was only carryin' three
I said, "I you were to hit the ATM today" She says, "I got around to it So where's your wallet
And I said, "Nevermind help me to find some change" Now the at the window Is looking at me kinda
And she says, "Mister, We gotta this line along" I said, "Now your stinkin' horses lady We be long"
So I looked around the glove box And checked the mat my feet I found a nickel in an And a couple pennies and a dime in the space between the
long I had a little pile Of coins of every The counts it up and says "You're about a dollar short"
And now my woman's got weird look on her face She screams, "You I wasn't really hungry in the first place"
And so I around To the cashier I and said, "Okay Forget the sandwich then"
So I up my change Pick up my And I drive to the pickup Man, I just can't to eat
And now we see acne ridden Kid about Wearin' a dorky that says "Hello, my is Eugene"
And he hands me a bag I him in the eyes And I say to him "Hey, I get some ketchup for my fries?"
Well he at me And I at him And he at me And I at him
And he at me And I at him And he says, "I'm did you want again?"
I say, "Ketchup!" And he says, "Oh yeah, right I just out there for a second I'm really kind of tonight"
And he hands me the ketchup And then we're drivin' away And the is drivin' me mad With its bouquet
I'm to death By the time we up at the traffic light I say, "Baby, gimme burger I just gotta a bite!"
So she in the bag And out the burger And she hands me the And I up the burger
And then I the paper I bite into those And I just believe it They the onions!