(lyrics are spoken) Girls, I you will understand this and feel the intrinsic incredible You have just pulled over your the worn, warm sweater to a boy Now, you haven't had a passionate kissing or anything, but you got to go on a camping with him and eight other people from And you practically together, sleeping bag right next to his And you in the night to watch him as he slept but you couldn't see 'cause it was dark so you just laid there and listened to his and if your heart might burst The sweater has that goat-like smell which all boys possess, and smell will lovingly transfer to all your clothes If you get to keep it for a few days you can sleep it but let your mom see, because she'll say, "what is that filthy thing, and who does it to besides the man?" So you have to it under the covers with you You can of lie it beside you, or it around your waist, or it on your legs, or whatever That's business Now if the has, like, reindeer on it or is a funny color yellow... I'm sorry, you get away with a sweater like that for brown, or grey, or blue Anything than that, and you know you're dealing with someone different And different is NOT you're looking for You're looking for those Alpine ski-chiseled features and that sort of blank look which passes for deep or at the notion that someone's home You're looking for the boy of your who is the same boy in the of all your friends Now the isn't going to fit you, of course, So you have to kind of roll up the sleeves in a jaunty way that says is the sweater belonging to a boy, and the boy is a genuine hunk-a-hunk of burnin' love, and this is not just some hand me down from your brother or your father' Monday, wear the sweater, to Be calm, cute tell him about the dream you had about the place the two of you would you get older Just be The best, cutest, version of yourself Definitely lip gloss He looks at you, and then he away And he walks away and the smell of the sweater hits you suddenly like gloriola and you get a note to you by a girl in History that "He needs that back. He you put it on in the tent on Saturday and he's been for it." And you have to die of humiliation, you know You are a person and this is a learning You can still hold your up high as you run from the classroom tearing the stinking sweater from your You look at that sweater, And you realize that love made you blind got a secret now, honey, and though you'd never as low as him, you could blab it all the school if you wanted The label in that "100% Acrylic"