The Sporting Life

Are you bored?
Are you jaded?
Has all the enthusiasm faded?
Are you one of those people
Like glazed fruit
Who sit there in shell-shock
Till the dot on your screen disappears?
Are you one of those people
Or are you just afraid?
Are you one who craves excitement
Were you tailor made
For this sporting life?
Living on a knife edge
This sporting life's forever changing
Are you one of these people?
The keys please quick
Every second counts
I've signed the book
Gimme the keys
The elevator opens its mouth
Like Jonah and the whale
The elevator spits me out
Into a freak show
It's a freak show
And into a swarm of flies
Do.....do not disturb
Do.....do not disturb
The sign on the door read:
Do not disturb
Strange looks from the bellman
As he takes me down the hallway
through a firedoor to a stairwell
Skidding, skidding, skidding, skidding
Out of control, out of control
Do.....do not disturb
Do.....do not disturb
The sign on the door read
The sign on the door said
The sign on the door read
Do not disturb
This is the Bad Samaritans
Hello loved one
Sorry there was nobody here
To take your call personally
However, we understand
What you're going through
How you've travelled life's highway
With your smile on upside-down
And now you think you've found
The ultimate answer to all your problems
Don't be hasty
Why waste a life
Wait until there's a crowd down below
Give a little when you go
Are you one of these people?
Jump jump jump jump jump......
There's a fruitcake in the window
Someone fetch the cops
For God's sake get a camera
Before the bastard drops
A little to the left
A little to the right
A little to the left
Maybe tonight's the night
Why are we waiting?
We're waiting
A little to the left
Right down the middle
A little to the right
X marks the spot
You ain't gonna be
On This is Your Life's tonight
This sporting life
Needs organising
We'd gladly lose the cup
If we could stick the knife in
This sporting life
This sporting life
This sporting life's forever changing
Are you bored?
Are you jaded?
Has all enthusiasm faded
Are you one of those people?