The President Song

Oh if I were President
I'd make you realize
no more question's no more lies
I'll tell you the truth looking in your eyes
If I were President.

Well first and foremost son
Jesus Christ is the only one
you're gonna talk to when your day begins
I'm gonna pass the law that says everyday
you gotta get down on your knees and pray
thank the man for dyin for you sins.

If I were president
I'd make you understand
Jesus is the man he's the reason that you stand
If I were president.

We're gonna put the word out on the street
no more Washington D.C.,
I'm gonna make this country big and strong
no more payin of your taxes
the capitol's in Fort Worth, Texas;
thats the only place a house that big belongs

If I were president
Nobody's gonna push us around,
Well nobody's gonna laugh when Jason Bolland's my chief of staff
If I were president.

Well Iraqi boys you must be nuts
your diggin yourself deeper in a rut
I got a way to end your problems soon
Well we'll bring home every one of our boys
pull out our biggest baddest toys
and blow you crazy bastards to the moon.

If I were president,
Nobody's gonna push us around
If they threaten us or put us down
we'll burn their country to the ground,
If I were president.

Well talk about you Osama bin Laden
It won't be long till your name's forgotten
America's freedom is always gonna ring
And you know that we wont be satisfied
Till your hatred's dead and your people are fried
Your head's on a stick and your balls in a sling.

If I were president
If I were president
Hey one thing you can't deny
your sorry ass is gonna die
If I was president

Well I got one for you, Saddam Hussein
We'll resurect General John Wayne,
and put together a very simple plan,
we'll put down our 'nukes put down our guns
and you and the Duke'll be 1-on-1
and he'll kick your ass if you were a man.

If I were president
If I were president
If you don't like Willie Nelson
you gotta go to prision
If I were president
So cast a vote and make it me
an' if I win the beer's free
If I were president.