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Another story I about myself,
this one in high school,
we had this teacher in high school kid went to our high school.
His name was Mr.Macnimara and his son Jake Macnimara to our high school
he was a sophomore when I was a senior, so he was 2 behind me.
And Mr.Macnimara was an
and one weekend he and his wife decided to town,
which you should do if you're an asshole.
And Jake Macnimara decided to throw a at the teacher's house
Hurrah!!(sarcastically)
And everyone around town heard about it, and we all got up individually and
Okay, let's go over and destroy the place.
I walked into this party, I had ever met was there,
and everyone was like it was the end of the world.
People were drinking like it was the War and a doctor was coming to saw our legs off.
It was unsupervised;
we were like without horses, we were running wild.
I walked walk down to the basement,
they had a pool in the basement,
one dude took a running start and threw his body onto the pool and broke it in half.
Another kid found out which was Mr.Macnimara's and went upstairs and took a shit on his computer.
So the was going great.
I'm in the basement and I'm holding a red cup,
you've movies,
and I'm there, and I'm holding a red cup
and I'm to black out.
And I someone said like "something, something police"
and in a moment of word association,
I "fuck da police!"
"fuck da police!"
and everyone joined in.
A drunk white children yelling "fuck da police"
with the confidence of guys who have like already been to jail and afraid of it anymore.
You know that like "I served my nickle, you come and me" confidence,
but children.
The reason someone had said "something, something police" was because the were there.
So a Chicago police officer walked down the stairs, and got to the of the basement
and looked out over a sea of toddlers yelling "fuck da police" in his face,
and he was almost
he was "wow".
And then he leaned into his and went "get the paddy wagon".
And my friend John, who is now a man now has a baby,
he grabbed a 40, smashed it on the ground, and "scatter!"
And ran in a different direction,
we all ran in directions.
It was that scene in Rataouille when the humans come in the kitchen and all the rats go in different ways,
we all ran in directions.
I ran into the laundry room, and I jumped on the washing machine, and I crawled out through a window the backyard
and now I'm through the backyard and there's this big chain-linked fence
and I thought "I've never climbed a fence high before"
and I woke up at home.
On Monday, I went to
because what we did back then.
And I'm walking the school building and who do I see, but Jake Macnimara
and he says to me "hey, were you at my on Saturday?"
and I said "no", you know, a liar.
And he said "things got really out of hand, someone broke the pool table, took a shit on my dad's computer"
"but the worse thing", he says, "the worse thing is that stole these old antique photos of my grandmother, and my parents are freaking out about it."
And I had that thought, only black out drunks and Steve Urkel can have,
I do that?
I no, I wouldn't have done that,
but I was never sure until, 2 later.

I'm playing video games with this kid Alex that we also went to high school with
2 later, we've graduated by now.
We're playing games for a couple hours and then Alex says to me,
"Hey, come here. I to show you something."
And then he takes me into his bedroom, and then he me into a side room off of his bedroom.
Never a good to have.
He shows me a tiny room that is wall to wall in stolen antique photos from different people's parties over the years.
And I "why?" (in a whisper)
(still whispering) "why do you do this?"
And said, "because it's the one thing you can't replace."
That's the end of that story, but how up is that? right?
crazy!
So I don't anymore.

Videos

The One Thing You Can't Replace
The One Thing You Can't Replace
The one thing that you can't replace by John Mulaney
The one thing that you can't replace by John Mulaney
John Mulaney: New in Town - Full Special
John Mulaney: New in Town - Full Special
THE ONE THING (Overwatch)
THE ONE THING (Overwatch)
The One Thing You Can't Replace | Dream SMP Animatic
The One Thing You Can't Replace | Dream SMP Animatic
John Mulaney "The One Thing" Legendado [PT/BR]
John Mulaney "The One Thing" Legendado [PT/BR]
The One Thing You Can't Replace (Demon Slayer Ver.)
The One Thing You Can't Replace (Demon Slayer Ver.)
The one Thing -bnha-
The one Thing -bnha-
The One Thing You Can't Replace
The One Thing You Can't Replace
John Mulaney-The One Thing You Can't Replace-Kinetic Typography
John Mulaney-The One Thing You Can't Replace-Kinetic Typography
Hazbin Hotel - The One Thing You Can’t Replace
Hazbin Hotel - The One Thing You Can’t Replace
Cuphead 'The One Thing' ANIMATIC
Cuphead 'The One Thing' ANIMATIC
(Some of) The Best of John Mulaney
(Some of) The Best of John Mulaney
John Mulaney: New in Town - Ice-T on "SVU" & Old Murder Investigations
John Mulaney: New in Town - Ice-T on "SVU" & Old Murder Investigations
The one thing you can't replace [Persona Q2]
The one thing you can't replace [Persona Q2]
THE ONE THING YOU CAN’T REPLACE (Fontaine animatic)
THE ONE THING YOU CAN’T REPLACE (Fontaine animatic)
The One Thing You Can't Replace ||  A Heathers Shitpost by Galactibun/Spibbles
The One Thing You Can't Replace || A Heathers Shitpost by Galactibun/Spibbles
Sonic The Hedgehog - The One Thing(animatic)
Sonic The Hedgehog - The One Thing(animatic)
Hollow Knight | The One Thing
Hollow Knight | The One Thing
john mulaney moments that live rent free in my head
john mulaney moments that live rent free in my head