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Bắt đầu làm bài nào

Another story I heard myself,
this one in high school,
we had this teacher in high school kid went to our high school.
His name was Mr.Macnimara and his son Jake went to our high school
he was a sophomore when I was a senior, so he was 2 years me.
And Mr.Macnimara was an
and one he and his wife decided to leave town,
which you should never do if an asshole.
And Macnimara decided to throw a party at the teacher's house
Hurrah!!(sarcastically)
And everyone around town heard about it, and we all got up and thought:
Okay, let's go over and destroy the place.
I walked into party, everyone I had ever met was there,
and everyone was like it was the end of the world.
People were drinking like it was the Civil War and a doctor was coming to saw our off.
It was totally
we were like dogs without horses, we running wild.
I down-I walk down to the basement,
had a pool table in the basement,
one dude took a running start and his body onto the pool table and broke it in half.
kid found out which room was Mr.Macnimara's and went upstairs and took a shit on his computer.
So the party was great.
I'm standing in the basement and I'm a red cup,
seen movies,
and I'm there, and I'm holding a red cup
and I'm starting to out.
And I guess someone said "something, something police"
and in a brilliant of word association,
I "fuck da police!"
"fuck da police!"
and everyone joined in.
A hundred drunk white yelling "fuck da police"
the confidence of guys who have like already been to jail and aren't afraid of it anymore.
You know that "I served my nickle, you come and take me" confidence,
but children.
The reason someone had "something, something police" was because the police were there.
So a Chicago police officer walked down the stairs, and got to the bottom of the
and looked out over a sea of toddlers yelling "fuck da police" in his face,
and he was impressed
he was "wow".
And then he leaned his walkie-talkie and went "get the paddy wagon".
And my friend John, who is now a man now has a baby,
he a 40, smashed it on the ground, and yelled "scatter!"
And everyone ran in a direction,
we all ran in directions.
It was like that scene in Rataouille when the humans come in the kitchen and all the rats go in ways,
we all ran in directions.
I ran the laundry room, and I jumped on the washing machine, and I crawled out through a window into the backyard
and now I'm running through the backyard and this big chain-linked fence
and I thought "I've never climbed a fence high before"
and I woke up at home.
On Monday, I to school
that's what we did back then.
And I'm walking into the school building and who do I see, but Macnimara
and he says to me "hey, were you at my on Saturday?"
and I said "no", you know, a liar.
And he said "things got out of hand, someone broke the pool table, someone took a shit on my dad's computer"
"but the worse thing", he says, "the worse thing is that someone these old antique photos of my grandmother, and my parents are freaking out about it."
And I had that thought, that only black out and Steve Urkel can have,
I do that?
I figured no, I wouldn't have that,
but I was never sure until, 2 later.

I'm playing video games with this kid named Alex that we went to high school with
2 later, we've graduated by now.
We're playing video games for a couple hours and then says to me,
"Hey, come here. I to show you something."
And then he takes me into his bedroom, and then he takes me into a room off of his bedroom.
Never a good to have.
He shows me a tiny room that is covered wall to wall in stolen antique photos different people's parties over the years.
And I "why?" (in a whisper)
(still whispering) "why do you do this?"
And Alex said, "because it's the one thing you replace."
That's the end of that story, but how fucked up is that?
crazy!
So I drink anymore.

Videos

The One Thing You Can't Replace
The One Thing You Can't Replace
The one thing that you can't replace by John Mulaney
The one thing that you can't replace by John Mulaney
John Mulaney: New in Town - Full Special
John Mulaney: New in Town - Full Special
THE ONE THING (Overwatch)
THE ONE THING (Overwatch)
The One Thing You Can't Replace | Dream SMP Animatic
The One Thing You Can't Replace | Dream SMP Animatic
John Mulaney "The One Thing" Legendado [PT/BR]
John Mulaney "The One Thing" Legendado [PT/BR]
The One Thing You Can't Replace (Demon Slayer Ver.)
The One Thing You Can't Replace (Demon Slayer Ver.)
The one Thing -bnha-
The one Thing -bnha-
The One Thing You Can't Replace
The One Thing You Can't Replace
John Mulaney-The One Thing You Can't Replace-Kinetic Typography
John Mulaney-The One Thing You Can't Replace-Kinetic Typography
Hazbin Hotel - The One Thing You Can’t Replace
Hazbin Hotel - The One Thing You Can’t Replace
Cuphead 'The One Thing' ANIMATIC
Cuphead 'The One Thing' ANIMATIC
(Some of) The Best of John Mulaney
(Some of) The Best of John Mulaney
John Mulaney: New in Town - Ice-T on "SVU" & Old Murder Investigations
John Mulaney: New in Town - Ice-T on "SVU" & Old Murder Investigations
The one thing you can't replace [Persona Q2]
The one thing you can't replace [Persona Q2]
THE ONE THING YOU CAN’T REPLACE (Fontaine animatic)
THE ONE THING YOU CAN’T REPLACE (Fontaine animatic)
The One Thing You Can't Replace ||  A Heathers Shitpost by Galactibun/Spibbles
The One Thing You Can't Replace || A Heathers Shitpost by Galactibun/Spibbles
Sonic The Hedgehog - The One Thing(animatic)
Sonic The Hedgehog - The One Thing(animatic)
Hollow Knight | The One Thing
Hollow Knight | The One Thing
john mulaney moments that live rent free in my head
john mulaney moments that live rent free in my head