"I think I'd rather sleep with her with no clothes on than you in best suit" I said to my at the Winter Gardens, Rothesay, Isle of Bute While the manager, praying for rain, watched the £50 grey in Knowing if it we'd get the crowds Knowing if it rained get the crowds
Born in Greenock, 'the Tall was known to all in the mines and the mills but ended up in music hall Maidie played the accordion, she was Small Doll' We could bring the doon, nae bother at a'!
It all seems like yesterday, though you alive The Panopticon, the Trongate, Glasgow In the name of the wee man, here Funny Clive God, it made you to be alive
the Laird of Inversnecky here, aye you ken me weil With ma cast of frae places that are nearly real Cold today! Aye! why we're by the seaside Everybody To the Aberdeen Pavilion Every night is fun!
I began as the tea boy, became the canny Scot Like a chimney sweep on a ladder to top Synonymous for many my famous character The I.M. Jolly, the morose minister
The character comedians that you may see Where'd get their talent for remarkable mimicry? It's plain to see, it came from me, I saw them scribbling They all laughed crazy at my "hoity-toity ladies"
"The flag at the castle is half high Let's all go to Mackie's for a wee cup of tea"
It's the Laird of Inversnecky here, to make you greet The Portobello pierrots, cannae compete At the Aberdeen Beach Pavilion, bloody years we've run And every single of it's been fun! Every single bloody been fun!