"I think I'd rather sleep with her with no clothes on you in your best suit" I said to my at the Winter Gardens, Rothesay, Isle of Bute While the manager, praying for rain, the £50 grey clouds in Knowing if it rained we'd get the Knowing if it rained get the crowds
Born in Greenock, 'the Drole' was known to all Worked in the mines and the but ended up in music hall Maidie played the accordion, she was 'the Doll' We bring the hoose doon, nae bother at a'!
It all seems like yesterday, you weren't alive The Panopticon, the Trongate, Glasgow In the name of the wee man, comes Funny Clive God, it you glad to be alive
It's the Laird of here, aye you ken me weil With ma cast of frae places that are nearly real Cold today! Aye! That's why we're by the come To the Aberdeen Pavilion Every night is fun!
I began as the tea boy, became the canny Scot Like a chimney on a ladder to very top Synonymous for many with my famous The Reverend I.M. Jolly, the minister
The comedians that you may see today Where'd they get their talent for remarkable It's plain to see, it came from me, I saw them scribbling all laughed like crazy at my "hoity-toity ladies"
"The flag at the castle is half high all go down to Mackie's for a wee cup of tea"
It's the Laird of Inversnecky here, to make you greet The Portobello pierrots, cannae compete At the Aberdeen Beach Pavilion, sixteen years we've run And every single of it's been fun! single bloody night's been fun!