And should get along, OK children down, quiet down I'd like to introduce our new substitute teacher for the day His name is Mr. Children quiet down Brian throw that (shut up!) Mr. Shady will be your new While Mr. is out with pneumonia (he's got aids!) Good Mr. Shady
Hi there little and girls Today we're gonna to learn how to poison But first, I'd like you to my friend Bob (Huh?) Say hi Bob! ("Hi Bob") Bob's 30 and still lives his mom And he don't got a job, cause Bob sits at and smokes pot But his twelve-year old looks up to him an awful lot And Bob likes to out at the local waffle spot And in the parkin' lot for waitresses off the clock it's late and the lot gets dark and fake like he walks his dog Drag 'em in the and go straight to the chopping blocks And even if they and they got the cops The ladies would all be so afraid, would drop the charge Til one night Mrs. Stacey off the job When she felt someone her whole face and said not to talk But knew it was Bob and said knock it off But Bob wouldn't knock it off he's crazy and off his rocker Crazier than Slim is off the vodka You couldn't even take him to to get Bob a "Dr." He grabbed Stace' by the as chopped it off her And dropped her off in the lake for the cops to her But ever since the day Stacey went off to They never found her, and Bob still at the waffle diner And that's the of Bob and his marijuana, And it might do to you So see if the squirrels any, it's bad for you
See children, are bad (c'mon) And if you believe me, ask ya dad (ask him man) And if you don't him, ask ya mom (that's right) She'll you how she does 'em all the time (she will) So say no to drugs (that's right) So you act like everyone else does (uh-huh) Then there's really else to say (sing along) are just bad, O-K?
My penis is the of a peanut, have you seen it? Fuck no you seen it, it's the size of a peanut (Huh?) Speakin' of peanuts, you know what is bad for squirrels? is the worst drug in the world If someone offers it to you, don't do it Kids two probably drain all your spinal fluid And fluid is final, you won't get it back So don't get attached, it'll attack every bone in your Zach, twenty-one years old After hangin' out with some at a frat party, he gets bold And decides to try five, when he's bribed by five And peer pressure will win every you try to fight it Suddenly, he starts to convulse and his pulse goes into And his eyes back in his skull His back starts tah, look like the McDonald's He's on Donald's carpet, horizontal barfin' And everyone in the apartment laughin' at him "Hey Adam, is a jackass, look at him!" they took it too, so they think it's funny So they're laughing at basically nothing except wasting his money Meanwhile, in a coma, the action is over And his back and his shoulders hunched up like he's practicin' And that's the story of Zach, the ecstasy So don't even feed to squirrels class, cause it's bad for you
And last but not least, one of the most among young people today, is fungus It from cow manure, they pick it out, wipe it off, Bag it up, and you put it right in your mouth and it Yum yum! Then you start to see some stuff And slows down when you eat some of 'em.. And sometimes you see that aren't there (Like what?) Like fat woman in G-strings orange hair (Mr. Shady what's a G-string?) It's yarn Women stick 'em up their behinds, go out and 'em (Huh?) And if you swallow too much of the mushrooms Whoops, did I say magic I meant fungus Ya tongue gets, all up like a cow's tongue (How come?) it comes from a cow's dung (Gross!) See drugs are bad, it's a common But your mom and dad, know all that I'm good at (Oh!) But don't be me, cause if you up and you go and O.D. They're gonna come for me and I'm a have to grow a And get a disguise and hide, it'll be my fault So do drugs, and do exactly as I don't, I'm bad for you
Come on children, clap (shut up!) Sing along children (Suck my dick!) Drugs are just bad, drugs are bad (South Park is gonna sue me!) So do drugs (Suck my motherfuckin' penis!) So there'll be for me (Hippie! God damnit!) (Mushrooms Kenny! (stern)fart(stern) Ew, ah!) (So, up, right now)