Luyện nghe bài hát The Hypnotist

Performed by adam sandler and

by big brother.

[typing
Dr. stewart: hi, dr. stewart.
Gary phelps: hi, dr. stewart. nice to you -- I'm gary phelps.
Dr. stewart: my pleasure. gary, you ever been hypnotized before?
phelps: no, I haven't. I'm actually quite nervous, but I just, uh, I --
Dr. stewart: all right, and you referred to me by anyone...?
Gary to be honest with you, I saw your name in the yellow pages, and it said you're good at this stuff, so I just, I gotta give it a shot, just kick this whole cigarette thing...
Dr. stewart: so smoking is problem?
Gary phelps: yeah, I can't stop smoking and it's -- it's finally, like, affecting everything I do, I can't run, I can't play basketball and all that stuff like that, so i, I give it up.
Dr. stewart: how long have you smoked,
Gary phelps: uh, I when I was eleven years old, and I just can't kick it, you know?

Dr. stewart: yeah, right. [small, barely noticeable fart] all right, gary, why don't you just have a seat and sit down and just relax -- what I do is hypnosis.
Gary right.
Dr. stewart: basically I just want you to sit back and relax -- let yourself sit back and relax and into the chair, and , um, just feel comfortable and trust me.

fart]
Gary phelps: [noticing sound] uh...
Dr. that's it.
phelps: o-kay....
Dr. stewart: it.
Gary phelps: was...o-kay...
Dr. stewart: all right? okay. gary, I want you to close your eyes, and I just want you to again relax and try to concentrate on nothing. that's it. now I'm gonna count backwards from five
Ro --
phelps: right.
Dr. stewart: -- and I just want you to relax, and you're going to fall into a deep state of -- of subconsciousness -- you're very comfortable, I'll be counting back from five, I just want y
Relax, and think of nothing.
[three farts in
Gary phelps: are you gonna doing that, or...?
Dr. stewart: hmm? just concentrate now. that's it. close your eyes. keep your eyes closed. okay. now. we're very comfortable. five [small fart], thinking of nothing except being comfortabl
Nothing's bothering us. okay. when I say the word "relax," listen to me, sinking, you're sinking, [medium fart]
Gary phelps: oh my god...that was, uh....are you gonna keep doing
Dr. stewart: please just try to relax; that wasn't me. okay. you're very stressed -- very stressed. okay, four, we're relaxing, we're relaxing, you're very comfortable, you're very, very
Ed. okay. four, three...[fart]
phelps: oh my dear god, sir...uh, I can't...
Dr. stewart: that was the couch. I know it sounded like -- -- the vinyl -- it's a new couch -- please, just try and concentrate. okay. and we're very sleepy, we're relaxed, thinking nothing
Ers us, nothing bothers us -- farts]
Gary phelps: uh, um, all right, could you open a window, maybe? I'm just having a time concentrating --
Dr. stewart: hmm? here we go -- there, there, we're relaxing, we're relaxing and cough together] three, two, two --
Gary I was just going to ask you if you could maybe stop doing that. I can't concentrate when you're doing that.
Dr. stewart: this is what I do. it's a counting-down thing. relaxing now. just relax -- let it go, don't focus on anything else, just concentrate on what we're doing here. three, two, rela
Lax, that's it, just relax [fart], we're now --
Gary phelps: -- you're gonna -- that one was -- it's getting a little irritating --
Dr. stewart: hang on just a second here. let me step out a second here.
Gary that'd be good.
Dr. stewart: all right, and relaxing, as I leave, we're relaxing, still relaxing,
in the distance]
Gary jesus...oh my god.
Dr. we're relaxing.
Gary phelps: [trying hard not to
Dr. stewart: okay, I'm back, relaxing, and we're counting down, we're to two, and all we're thinking about is healthy, fresh air. freshness. breathing in. breathing in deep, letting out. [

Gary phelps: sir, I'd appreciate if you could stop 'letting it out'. but okay, okay, fine, you.
Dr. stewart: that's it, you're all right, everything's good. all right, you feel very comfortable, you're sinking into the chair, we're relaxing, one [long fart], and we're coming down to a

Gary oh my god, uh...yes, all right, it was nothing...
Dr. stewart: no, no, that time was you.
phelps: that wasn't me!

Dr. stewart: we're not here to pick sides, we're not here to pick sides, that was you, and maybe we could deal with in another session, but right now we're dealing with the smoking, and, um
's not worry anything else that's going down --
phelps: ok, I've just gotta kick this habit.
Dr. stewart: down to zero, relaxing, we're going to feel very fresh [fart], we're going to feel very healthy [fart], and let's take a nice, deep --
Gary phelps: I can't breathe, sir, uh, I'm sorry, I just -- ["squirty"
Gary phelps: oh my God -- did you eat? it smells like baby food --

Dr. stewart: all right, we're -- that one probably squirted out a little into the pants, but we'll just continue with thte floating [fart] -- yeah, that was definitely a squirt -- but h
E go, one, zero, we are under. are you
phelps: yeah, I'm under, I guess.
Dr. stewart: here we go, relaxing, relaxing. you're under a deep trance, you will not smoke anymore, you will just feel healthy from now on, and be breathing in nothing but fresh air, and
Will not smell anything in this room, it wasn't me, it wasn't me [fart] -- that was not me --
Gary phelps: [hysterically laughing under his breath] you're gonna have to doing that, sir. it's just very hard for me to listen to you when you're --
Dr. stewart: you're floating now, you're high above, you're down, nothing but fresh pastures and fields, and here we go [long fart]
phelps: oh man...
Dr. stewart: -- was you,
Gary phelps: was not me, sir! I'm watching you!
Dr. stewart: that was you, and you wake up, you will not remember any of this, except that it was you, or my receptionist, don't worry, she gets it all the time. all right -- you smell noth
I'm perfectly clean. I have no bad gas; it was all from or from -- from -- you yourself. and let's not forget the smoking thing that's why you're here. no smoking. repeat after me: I am
Lly pig.
Gary what?
Dr. stewart: all right, moving along, and we;'re relaxed. [fart] all right, and now we're going to count back up, up one to five,
Gary phelps: ok, you know, I think this is fine, I don't to smoke...
Dr. stewart: gary, settle down, relax, and when I get to five, you will out of this, and you won't remember this, especially the smell, the smell was from you. all right? and here we go. ze
E're coming out of it, you're waking up slowly, your eyes are opening, one, you're feeling good, and when you wake up, you'll feel wide awake and perfect you'll feel whole and all-righty,
Pped one out there and I apologize. I ripped a good one there. that was a nice out..
Gary that was not nice.
Dr. stewart: here we go, and, we're coming right
Gary what was that?
Dr. that was three.
Gary it didn't sound like three.
Dr. stewart: three, I'm counting, and four, it's no smell in here, and you don't smoke, you don't want a cigarette, no, and we go [fart] five, and -- [snap] do you want a cigarette?
Gary no I don't.
Dr. then my job is done.
Gary phelps: [bursts laughter]
Dr. stewart: please leave the door open as you leave. [fart]
Gary phelps: ok, you, doctor.

[typing resumes and fart is heard]