Luyện nghe bài hát The Hypnotist

Performed by adam sandler and

by big brother.

[typing
Dr. hi, [i'm] dr. stewart.
Gary hi, dr. stewart. nice to meet you -- I'm gary phelps.
Dr. stewart: my pleasure. gary, have you ever hypnotized before?
Gary phelps: no, I haven't. I'm actually nervous, but I just, uh, I --
Dr. stewart: all right, and you referred to me by anyone...?
Gary phelps: to be honest with you, I saw your name in the yellow pages, and it said you're good at this stuff, so I just, I gotta give it a shot, kick this whole cigarette thing...
Dr. stewart: so smoking is your
Gary phelps: yeah, I can't stop smoking and it's -- it's finally, like, affecting everything I do, I can't run, I can't play basketball and all that stuff that, so i, I gotta give it up.
Dr. stewart: how long you smoked, gary?
Gary phelps: uh, I started when I was eleven old, and I just can't kick it, you know?

Dr. stewart: yeah, right. [small, noticeable fart] all right, gary, why don't you just have a seat here and sit down and just relax -- what I do is hypnosis.
Gary right.
Dr. stewart: basically I want you to sit back and relax -- let yourself sit back and relax and sink into the chair, and , um, just feel comfortable and trust me.

fart]
Gary phelps: [noticing fart uh...
Dr. stewart: it.
phelps: o-kay....
Dr. stewart: it.
phelps: that was...o-kay...
Dr. stewart: all okay. gary, I want you to close your eyes, and I just want you to again relax and try to concentrate on nothing. okay? that's it. now I'm gonna count backwards from five
Ro --
Gary right.
Dr. stewart: -- and I just want you to relax, and you're going to fall into a deep state of mind -- of subconsciousness -- you're very comfortable, I'll be counting back from five, I just y
Relax, and think of nothing.
[three farts in
Gary phelps: are you gonna doing that, or...?
Dr. stewart: hmm? concentrate now. that's it. close your eyes. keep your eyes closed. okay. now. we're very comfortable. five [small fart], we're thinking of nothing except being comfortabl
Nothing's bothering us. okay. when I say the word "relax," listen to me, you're sinking, sinking, [medium fart]
Gary phelps: oh my god...that was, uh....are you gonna keep that?
Dr. stewart: please try to relax; that wasn't me. okay. you're very stressed -- you're very stressed. okay, four, we're relaxing, we're relaxing, you're very comfortable, you're very, very
Ed. okay. four, three...[fart]
phelps: oh my dear god, sir...uh, I can't...
Dr. stewart: that was the couch. I know it sounded like -- it's -- the vinyl -- it's a new couch -- please, just try and concentrate. okay. and we're very sleepy, we're relaxed, thinking
Ers us, nothing bothers us -- [several
Gary phelps: uh, um, all right, could you open a window, maybe? I'm just having a tough time --
Dr. stewart: hmm? here we go -- there, there, we're relaxing, we're relaxing [fart and together] three, two, two --
Gary phelps: I was just to ask you if you could maybe stop doing that. I can't concentrate when you're doing that.
Dr. stewart: this is I do. it's a counting-down thing. we're relaxing now. just relax -- let it go, don't focus on anything else, just concentrate on what we're doing here. three, two, rela
Lax, it, just relax [fart], we're relaxing now --
Gary phelps: okay -- you're gonna -- one was -- it's getting a little irritating --
Dr. stewart: on just a second here. let me just step out a second here.
Gary phelps: be good.
Dr. all right, and we're relaxing, as I leave, we're relaxing, still relaxing,
[fart in the
phelps: jesus...oh my god.
Dr. we're relaxing.
Gary phelps: [trying not to laugh]
Dr. stewart: okay, I'm back, we're relaxing, and we're counting down, we're to two, and all we're thinking about is healthy, fresh air. freshness. breathing in. breathing in deep, out. [

Gary phelps: sir, I'd appreciate if you could 'letting it out'. but okay, okay, fine, thank you.
Dr. stewart: that's it, you're all right, everything's good. all right, you feel very comfortable, you're sinking the chair, we're relaxing, one [long fart], and we're coming down to zero a

phelps: oh my god, uh...yes, all right, it was nothing...
Dr. stewart: no, no, time that was you.
Gary phelps: wasn't me!

Dr. stewart: we're not here to pick sides, not here to pick sides, that was you, and maybe we could deal with this in another session, but right now we're dealing with the smoking, and, um
's not about anything else that's going down --
Gary phelps: ok, I've just gotta kick habit.
Dr. stewart: down to zero, relaxing, we're going to feel very fresh [fart], we're going to feel very healthy [fart], and let's a nice, deep breath --
Gary I can't breathe, sir, uh, I'm sorry, I just -- ["squirty" fart]
Gary phelps: oh my God -- did you eat? it smells like baby food --

Dr. stewart: all right, we're relaxing -- that one probably squirted out a little into the pants, but we'll just continue with thte floating [fart] -- yeah, that was a squirt -- but h
E go, one, zero, we are under. are you
phelps: yeah, I'm under, I guess.
Dr. stewart: here we go, relaxing, relaxing. you're under a deep trance, you will not smoke anymore, you will just feel healthy from now on, and you'll be in nothing but fresh air, and
Will not smell anything in room, it wasn't me, it wasn't me farting [fart] -- that was not me --
Gary phelps: [hysterically laughing under his breath] you're have to stop doing that, sir. it's just very hard for me to listen to you when you're --
Dr. stewart: you're now, you're high above, you're looking down, nothing but fresh pastures and fields, and here we go [long fart]
phelps: oh man...
Dr. -- that was you,
Gary that was not me, sir! I'm watching you!
Dr. that was you, and when you wake up, you will not remember any of this, except that it was you, or my receptionist, don't worry, she gets it all the time. all right -- you smell noth
I'm perfectly clean. I have no bad gas; it was all from outside or from -- from -- you yourself. and not forget the smoking thing that's why you're here. no smoking. repeat after me: I am
Lly pig.
Gary phelps:
Dr. stewart: all right, we're moving along, and we;'re relaxed. [fart] all right, and now we're going to count up, up one to five,
Gary phelps: ok, you know, I think this is fine, I want to smoke...
Dr. stewart: gary, settle down, relax, and when I get to five, you will snap out of this, and you won't remember this, especially the smell, the smell was from you. all and here we go. ze
E're coming out of it, you're waking up slowly, your eyes are opening, one, you're feeling good, and you wake up, you'll feel wide awake and perfect you'll feel whole and [fart] all-righty,
Pped that one out there and I apologize. I ripped a good one there. was a nice out..
Gary that was not nice.
Dr. stewart: we go, and, we're coming right [fart]
Gary phelps: what was
Dr. stewart: was three.
Gary phelps: it didn't sound three.
Dr. stewart: three, I'm counting, and four, no smell in here, and you don't smoke, you don't want a cigarette, no, and here we go [fart] five, and -- [snap] do you want a cigarette?
Gary no I don't.
Dr. then my job is done.
Gary phelps: into laughter]
Dr. stewart: [fart] please leave the door open as you leave.
Gary phelps: ok, you, doctor.

[typing resumes and another is heard]