Luyện nghe bài hát The Hypnotist

Performed by sandler and kevin

by big brother.

[typing
Dr. stewart: hi, dr. stewart.
Gary phelps: hi, dr. stewart. nice to you -- I'm gary phelps.
Dr. my pleasure. gary, have you ever been hypnotized before?
Gary phelps: no, I haven't. I'm quite nervous, but I just, uh, I --
Dr. stewart: all right, and you were to me by anyone...?
Gary phelps: to be honest with you, I saw your name in the yellow pages, and it said you're good at this stuff, so I just, I gotta give it a shot, kick this whole cigarette thing...
Dr. so smoking is your problem?
Gary phelps: yeah, I can't stop smoking and it's -- it's finally, like, affecting everything I do, I can't run, I can't play basketball and all stuff like that, so i, I gotta give it up.
Dr. stewart: how long have you smoked,
Gary phelps: uh, I when I was eleven years old, and I just can't kick it, you know?

Dr. stewart: yeah, right. [small, barely noticeable fart] all right, gary, why don't you just have a seat here and sit down and just -- what I do is hypnosis.
Gary right.
Dr. stewart: basically I just want you to sit back and relax -- let yourself sit and relax and sink into the chair, and , um, just feel comfortable and trust me.

[bigger
Gary phelps: [noticing sound] uh...
Dr. that's it.
Gary o-kay....
Dr. that's it.
phelps: that was...o-kay...
Dr. stewart: all okay. gary, I want you to close your eyes, and I just want you to again relax and try to concentrate on nothing. okay? that's it. now I'm gonna count backwards from five
Ro --
phelps: right.
Dr. stewart: -- and I just want you to relax, and you're to fall into a deep state of mind -- of subconsciousness -- you're very comfortable, I'll be counting back from five, I just want y
Relax, and just of nothing.
[three farts in
Gary are you gonna keep doing that, or...?
Dr. stewart: hmm? just concentrate now. that's it. close your eyes. keep your eyes closed. okay. now. we're very comfortable. five [small fart], we're thinking of except being comfortabl
Nothing's bothering us. okay. when I say the word "relax," to me, you're sinking, you're sinking, [medium fart]
Gary phelps: oh my god...that was, uh....are you gonna keep doing
Dr. stewart: please just try to relax; that wasn't me. okay. very stressed -- you're very stressed. okay, four, we're relaxing, we're relaxing, you're very comfortable, you're very, very
Ed. okay. four, three...[fart]
Gary oh my dear god, sir...uh, I can't...
Dr. stewart: that was the couch. I it sounded like -- it's -- the vinyl -- it's a new couch -- please, just try and concentrate. okay. and we're very sleepy, we're relaxed, thinking nothing
Ers us, nothing bothers us -- farts]
Gary phelps: uh, um, all right, you open a window, maybe? I'm just having a tough time concentrating --
Dr. stewart: hmm? here we go -- there, there, we're relaxing, we're relaxing [fart and together] three, two, two --
Gary phelps: I was just going to ask you if you could stop doing that. I can't concentrate when you're doing that.
Dr. stewart: this is what I do. it's a counting-down thing. we're now. just relax -- let it go, don't focus on anything else, just concentrate on what we're doing here. three, two, rela
Lax, it, just relax [fart], we're relaxing now --
Gary phelps: okay -- you're gonna -- that one was -- it's getting a irritating --
Dr. stewart: hang on just a second here. let me just step out a here.
phelps: that'd be good.
Dr. stewart: all right, and we're relaxing, as I leave, relaxing, still relaxing,
[fart in the
Gary jesus...oh my god.
Dr. stewart: relaxing.
Gary phelps: [trying not to laugh]
Dr. okay, I'm back, we're relaxing, and we're counting down, we're to two, and all we're thinking about is healthy, fresh air. freshness. breathing in. breathing in deep, letting out. [

Gary sir, I'd appreciate if you could stop 'letting it out'. but okay, okay, fine, thank you.
Dr. stewart: that's it, you're all right, everything's good. all right, you feel very comfortable, you're sinking into the chair, we're relaxing, one [long fart], and we're coming to zero a

Gary oh my god, uh...yes, all right, it was nothing...
Dr. no, no, that time that was you.
Gary that wasn't me!

Dr. stewart: we're not to pick sides, we're not here to pick sides, that was you, and maybe we could deal with this in another session, but right now we're dealing with the smoking, and, um
's not worry about anything else that's down --
phelps: ok, I've just gotta kick this habit.
Dr. stewart: down to zero, relaxing, we're going to feel very fresh [fart], we're going to feel healthy [fart], and let's take a nice, deep breath --
phelps: I can't breathe, sir, uh, I'm sorry, I just -- ["squirty" fart]
Gary phelps: oh my God -- what did you eat? it smells like baby --

Dr. stewart: all right, we're relaxing -- that one squirted out a little into the pants, but we'll just continue with thte floating [fart] -- yeah, that was definitely a squirt -- but h
E go, one, zero, we are under. are you
Gary yeah, I'm under, I guess.
Dr. stewart: here we go, relaxing, relaxing. under a deep trance, you will not smoke anymore, you will just feel healthy from now on, and you'll be breathing in nothing but fresh air, and
Will not smell anything in this room, it wasn't me, it wasn't me farting -- that was not me --
Gary phelps: [hysterically laughing under his breath] you're gonna have to stop doing that, sir. it's just very hard for me to to you when you're --
Dr. stewart: you're floating now, you're high above, you're looking down, nothing but fresh pastures and fields, and we go [long fart]
Gary oh man...
Dr. stewart: -- was you,
phelps: that was not me, sir! I'm watching you!
Dr. stewart: that was you, and you wake up, you will not remember any of this, except that it was you, or my receptionist, don't worry, she gets it all the time. all right -- you smell noth
I'm perfectly clean. I have no bad gas; it was all outside or from -- from -- you yourself. and let's not forget the smoking thing that's why you're here. no smoking. repeat after me: I am
Lly pig.
Gary phelps:
Dr. stewart: all right, we're moving along, and we;'re relaxed. all right, and now we're going to count back up, up one to five,
Gary phelps: ok, you know, I think this is fine, I don't to smoke...
Dr. stewart: gary, settle down, relax, and I get to five, you will snap out of this, and you won't remember this, especially the smell, the smell was from you. all right? and here we go. ze
E're coming out of it, you're waking up slowly, your eyes are opening, one, you're feeling good, and when you wake up, feel wide awake and perfect you'll feel whole and [fart] all-righty,
Pped that one out and I apologize. I ripped a good one there. that was a nice out..
Gary phelps: was not nice.
Dr. stewart: here we go, and, we're coming [fart]
Gary phelps: was that?
Dr. stewart: was three.
Gary it didn't sound like three.
Dr. stewart: three, I'm counting, and four, it's no in here, and you don't smoke, you don't want a cigarette, no, and here we go [fart] five, and -- [snap] do you want a cigarette?
phelps: no I don't.
Dr. stewart: my job is done.
Gary phelps: [bursts into
Dr. stewart: [fart] please leave the open as you leave. [fart]
phelps: ok, thank you, doctor.

[typing and another fart is heard]