ADAM: I am a goat. I live on the back of a truck. The Old Man me here with a 3 ft. rope. Am I He don't a fuck. OLD Hey goat! I'm gonna beat your head in with the stick! Sometimes he uses his fists-a. He's with anger and filled with rage, and tells me I like piss-a. His drink, Beam. His chaser, a beer. that, various alchohols. That's the beatings get so severe, I sleep, I he falls. But don't feel for me. Things weren't always bad. Why when I was a young goat, the Old Man was just my dad.
I come the hills of Europe. That's I met the Old Man. He was in the woods, I him directions, He gave me a can. he stopped in his tracks and he said, OLD Hey goat! ADAM: Would you to live with me? I got a house a pick-up truck in a across D.C.-a. I said, "sure why not? I got no family. You like a nice guy." So we off to America, the of apple pie.
On the the Old Man told me, I be a present for his wife. "A goat," he exclaimed, "She's never this in her life!" I so special. Well, I just couldn't it, all these years, I had a friend. He my beard, he my hooves, I it would never end.
But we got to his house, was no wife. Only a short, letter. It said : I'm leaving you for brother he fucks me better. His filled with tears of sadness. His heart was filled grief. To himself he drank a pint of Old Grandad, and beat me like a of beef. I screamed, "send me back to the of Europe!" He shook his head and said, OLD Nope! No one will ever leave me again, to sure, put on the 3 ft. rope-a. I've been on the truck for 51 years. My friend is the A.M. radio. Sometimes the children stop by, but always rocks and beer bottles that they throw. At they're excited to see a talking goat, they 'round to hear what I have to say. But I guess my stories go on too long, so they and giggle, I a bidet. But you know was a night I did get off the truck, when the Old Man was out drunk. Three kids took me to a rock and roll concert. The of music? Old funk.
It was the time I'd been off the truck, the music made me control. The lead singer asked if we having fun, I said, "fucking that rock and roll-a!" The at the show were beautiful, as they danced on the soft grass. One of them even my fur. Fuck me in the ass! Then long-haired guys grabbed me by the horns and me in the mosh pit-a. They passed me around and me nice til I nervously sprayed them shit-a. Then the stopped. And was quiet. And all the and rollers started a fucking riot. ROCK AND Kill the goat! the goat! the goat! the goat! ADAM: They me under the bleachers. They chased me the street-a. They chased me into an alley and said I was fucking goat meat-a. But I saw a sight, that I'd never I'd see. The Old Man his hickory stick, but he swinging at me. OLD MAN: you pot smoking turkeys! Don't you your luck! ADAM: The long-hairs ran screaming as I onto the truck-a. When we got home the Old Man said, "goat you broke the law." No! Please! Sorry! Shit! "I'll let it go time, but if you again, break your fucking jaw." Super! Great! Okay! Thank you Old Man for my life. Thank you and again. You could let them barbeque me, but you acted a friend. "I'm not friend. I don't like you. I'm not drunk," he said. To his point, he drank a of grain alchohol, and beat the fucking out of my head. Ow! Ow! Ow! hurting me Old Man.
That I suffered a concussion, Deep inside my brain. I cannot feel my tailbone. And I'll probably will never straight again. I guess you'd me, goat. A bag for the Old Man to mock. Just his wife left him, for his abnormaly large cock. He been my buddy. But he's a crazy old fuck. And once I go to sleep, in my home....... the back of the truck. Good Old Man! OLD MAN: Yeah, night goat!