The Ferret Song

I've got a ferret sticking up my nose
(He's got a ferret sticking up his nose)
How it got there I can't tell
But now it's there it hurts like hell
And what's more it radically affects my sense of smell

I've got a ferret sticking up my nose
(It pokes its head out every time he blows)
I can stand it for a while
Although it's absolutely vile
It's not as bad as last week when I had a crocodile

I can see a bare-bottomed mandrill
(Slyly eyeing his other nostril)
I really won't know what to do
But if he jumps inside there too
I shall be a proud possessor of a kind of nasal zoo
(A nasal zoo)

I've got a ferret sticking up my nose
(It starts singing when he wears his formal clothes)
I can almost stand the noise
But at parties it destroysMy hard-earned and carefully cultivated social poise

I've got a ferret sticking up my nose
(Worst of all it constantly explodes)
Ferrets don't explode you say
But it happened nine times yesterday
And I should know for each time I was standing in the way

I've got a ferret sticking up my nose
(He's got a ferret sticking up his nose)
How it got there I can't tell
But now it's there it hurts like hell
And what's more it radically affects my sense of smell