Penis Song (the Not Noel Coward Song)

Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis
Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?
It's swell to have a stiffy, it's divine to own a dick
From the tiniest little tadger to the world's biggest prick

So three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas
Hooray for your one eyed trouser snake
Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend, your Percy or your cock
You can wrap it up in ribbons, you can slip it in your sock
But don't take it out in public or they will stick you in the dock
And you won't come back