The Cretian Isle

A bit ago in Crete
Good ol' Theseus pulled off a feat
Slew the Minotaur got in his car and sped off with a girl so sweet

When ol' Minos heard the news
He quickly flushed out the clues
And said, "Daedalus, man, you're going in the can and your son is going too"

So in the labyrinth's trial
They roamed a while
On the Cretian isle

They had some candles in their packs
And they melted them down for wax
That with feathers and some string they fashioned into wings which they strapped onto their backs

And so Daedalus, wise and old
Told Icarus, young and bold
"Don't be so damn brash or your *** is gonna crash into a sea green, mean, and cold"

Then in single file
They flew away in style
From the Cretian isle

"I'm flying, Dad, I'm flying
I'm like a bird, Dad, look at me
High in the sky like Helios
I've never felt so ****ing free
Oh, Dad, my wings are melting
I'm one sad teardrop drooping towards the sea
I'm drowning, Dad, I'm drowning
Trapped beneath the waves I'm history"

The moral of the story is to tie your shoes
Because he who hesitates is bound lose
One bad egg will spoil the batch
But don't count your chickens before they hatch
A friend in need is a friend indeed
You can't cut a stone and make it bleed
When the cat's away the mice will play
And an apple a day keeps the cat away
Eat your greens, but don't feed the bears
An escalator can't break, it will just become stairs
One man's maze is another man's measure
Don't melt the wax if you can't grow the feather