Not long ago I through the gate of dreams I to the famous City of Destruction Where now a shuttle runs to the City With air miles and big reductions So I went to the ticket office Evangelist sat And seats through credit card calls I said ' How does it now they changed your job?' He said I don't feel anything at all'
As we off I looked down on the Myre of Despair From a that passed a thousand miles above Its legs were of books that they'd thrown into the mud And the were of philosophy and love As we reached the of Difficulty, we waited for a climb They'd dug a through the center of the stone And the excess rock, well the valley became landfill Where once you'd had to down there alone
All aboard, all aboard the Shuttle For a journey free of care, for a free of trouble All aboard, all aboard the Celestial For all those who seek the truth but have the time to get there Don't have the to get there
The train felt so smooth that I put my feet up noticing the motion of the carriage The stewardess was Prudence with her Charity For fifteen grand they'd their hands in marriage And just as we entering the Valley of Death I expected to be into the darkness But the company had floodlit the underground care not to make this place seem joyless
All aboard, all aboard the Celestial For a free of care, for a journey free of trouble All aboard, all the Celestial Shuttle For all those with the money, tender up the fare Just up the fare
It looked like we stopped at the of Hell itself But said it was a now-extinct volcano And if you'd seen the demons seemed to emanate there You'd have the guidebook at its say so But some of my companions they not get back in They'd heard heaven it was vastly over-rated The weather here was warmer, and was allowed And they thought see us come back here much later
All aboard, all the Celestial Shuttle For a journey free of care, for a journey free of All aboard, all aboard the Shuttle You could be by now, if you lived there If you lived
After boarding no new passengers we upon our way Past the place where Pope and ruled with terror But now the giant Scientology had eaten them for And bought all the around her At a city called Vanity we for the night one's every whim was catered for and sated The shuttle brought and business in its wake And an attitude that never outdated
So all aboard, all aboard the Celestial For a journey free of care, for a free of trouble All aboard, all aboard the Shuttle For all those double, just tender up the fare Just tender up the
So Charming was the city with its fair The claimed it was the only heaven And said that only ever venture beyond its gates And go to that of Never-Never And in city an education came without a school The sold one alongside praise and honor Reputations and honour went on at the fair And could buy almost any of them
All aboard, all aboard the Celestial For a journey free of care, for a free of trouble All aboard, all aboard the Celestial The most efficient way to go, the best way to get there It's the way to get there
And I stayed in the city, til I became those Who lived there and abandoned their old Til I saw some pilgrims walked the journey's length Standing at the of its dimensions 'Friend let me you' said the Speaker to my ear 'The concept of the shuttle is a Bubble You can pay the fare and travel for the of your life You'll never get anywhere but Cos the train is progress and it isn't a roundtrip And in case the whole thing should explode The Lord of the City he will never let you in And he grants no of permit to the railroad'
I got back on the train and my companions they few My with the suburbs disappearing We saw the Silver Mine and the of Despair And we saw our it was nearing Saw the gates of fair city, beyond a river lay A light shone from the other side A ferry boat was waiting to carry us It was built of paper and died
All aboard, all the Celestial Shuttle For a free of care, for a journey free of trouble All aboard, all aboard the Celestial For all those who want the truth but have no to get there All aboard, all the Celestial Shuttle Just say what you've got, we'll you a fare All aboard, all aboard the Shuttle We'll look after you so good you won't wanna get there You wanna get there