Not long ago I went the gate of dreams I to the famous City of Destruction now a shuttle runs to the Emerald City With air miles and big reductions So I went to the ticket where Evangelist sat And seats through credit card calls I said ' How does it feel now changed your job?' He said 'Now I don't feel at all'
As we moved off I looked down on the Myre of From a bridge that a thousand miles above Its were made of books that they'd thrown into the mud And the books of philosophy and love As we reached the of Difficulty, we waited for a climb They'd dug a through the center of the stone And with the rock, well the valley became landfill Where once you'd had to walk there alone
All aboard, all aboard the Shuttle For a free of care, for a journey free of trouble All aboard, all the Celestial Shuttle For all those who seek the but don't have the time to get there Don't the time to get there
The train felt so smooth that I put my feet up Barely noticing the of the carriage The stewardess was Prudence her sister Charity For fifteen grand they'd sell their in marriage And just as we entering the Valley of Death I expected to be plunged into the But the company had the underground gloom Taken care not to this place seem joyless
All aboard, all aboard the Celestial For a free of care, for a journey free of trouble All aboard, all the Celestial Shuttle For all those with the money, just up the fare Just up the fare
It looked like we stopped at the of Hell itself But said it was a now-extinct volcano And if you'd seen the demons seemed to from there You'd have the guidebook at its say so But of my companions they would not get back in They'd heard that heaven it was vastly The here was warmer, and drinking was allowed And they thought they'd see us back here much later
All aboard, all aboard the Celestial For a free of care, for a journey free of trouble All aboard, all aboard the Celestial You could be by now, if you lived there If you lived
After boarding no new passengers we upon our way Past the place where and Pagan ruled with terror But now the giant Scientology had eaten for breakfast And bought all the around her At a city called we stayed for the night Where one's every whim was catered for and The shuttle brought and business in its wake And an attitude never gets outdated
So all aboard, all aboard the Shuttle For a journey of care, for a journey free of trouble All aboard, all aboard the Celestial For all those seeing double, just tender up the Just up the fare
So Charming was the with its profitable fair The inhabitants claimed it was the heaven And said that only ever venture beyond its gates And go to that of Never-Never And in this city an education came a school The sold one alongside praise and honor and honour went on sale at the fair And conscience could buy almost any of
All aboard, all aboard the Celestial For a journey free of care, for a journey of trouble All aboard, all the Celestial Shuttle The most efficient way to go, it's the best way to get the best way to get there
And I stayed in the city, til I became like Who lived there and their old questions Til I saw some pilgrims who'd walked the length Standing at the edge of its 'Friend let me you' said the Speaker to my ear 'The whole concept of the shuttle is a You can pay the fare and travel for the rest of life You'll get anywhere but trouble Cos the train is only and it isn't a roundtrip And just in case the thing should explode The Lord of the Good he will never let you in And he grants no kind of permit to the
I got back on the train and my companions they few My hopes the suburbs disappearing We saw the Silver Mine and the Castle of And we saw our destination it was Saw the gates of fair city, beyond a river lay A blinding light shone from the side A ferry was waiting to carry us over It was of paper and everybody died
All aboard, all aboard the Celestial For a journey free of care, for a free of trouble All aboard, all aboard the Celestial For all those who want the but have no time to get there All aboard, all the Celestial Shuttle Just say what got, we'll sell you a fare All aboard, all the Celestial Shuttle We'll look after you so good you won't wanna get there You wanna get there