I saw it one day, Bear mountain was comin' my way. "come 'n' take a trip, bring you up there on a ship. Bring the wife and Bring the family." Yippee!
Well, I run right down 'n' a ticket To this mountain picnic. But did I realize I was in for a surprise. Had nothin' to do mountains. I didn't even close to a bear.
Took the wife 'n' down to the pier, Six thousand there, had ticket for the trip. "oh well." I said, "it's a big ship. Besides, anyway, the the merrier."
Well, we all got on 'n' d'ya think, That big old boat started t' More people kept on, That old ship was a-slowly down. Funny way t' a picnic.
Well, I soon lost track of m' 'n' wife, So many there I never saw in m' life That old ship down in the water, Six thousand people tryin' t' kill other, Dogs a-barkin', a-meowin', screamin', fists a-flyin', babies cryin', a-comin', me a-runnin'. Maybe we just better off the picnic.
I got down 'n' pushed around, All I hear there was a screamin' sound, Don't remember one more, Just remember walkin' up on a shore, busted, stomach cracked, splintered, I was bald, naked. . . Quite to be alive though.
Feelin' I climbed outa m' casket, I grabbed hold of m' picnic basket. Took the 'n' kids 'n' started home, Wishin' I'd got up that morn.
Now, I don't care what you do, If you have a picnic, that's up t' you. But don't tell me about it, I don't wanta it, 'cause, see, I lost all m' picnic spirit. Stay in m' kitchen, m' own picnic. . . In the bathroom.
Now, it don't to me quite so funny What some people are do f'r money. There's a new gimmick every day Just t' take somebody's away. I think we oughta take some o' people And put 'em on a boat, 'em up to bear mountain . . . For a picnic.