Luyện nghe bài hát Story of Reuben Clamzo & His Strange...

by Arlo

Wanna hear You know that Indians never ate
clams. They have linguini! And so what happened
was that clams was allowed to unmolested in the
coastal waters of for millions of years. And
they got big, and I ain't talking clams in
general, I'm talking about each clam! I mean one
was a couple of million years old or older. So
they could have got bigger than whole room. And
when they get big, God gives them little feet so
they could walk around easier. And when they get
feet, they get dangerous. I'm talking real
dangerous. I ain't talking sitting under the
water waiting for you. I'm about coming after
you.

Imagine on one of them boats coming over to
America, like Columbus or something, standing
there at night on watch, else is either drunk
or asleep. And you're for America and the
boat's up and down. And you don't like it anyhow.
But you gotta stand and watch, for what. Only he
knows, and he ain't watching. You the waves
against the side of the ship. The moon is
going the clouds. You hear the pitter patter of
little on deck. IS THAT YOU KIDS? IT AIN'T.
MY GOD. IT'S THIS GIANT CLAM!

Imagine those little feet on deck. A clam twice
the size of the ship. Feet first. standing
there with fear, you grab one of these. This
is a pin. They used to have these stuck in
the all around the ship ..you probably didn't
know this is for; you probably had an idea, but
you were wrong. They used to have stuck in the
holes all the sides of the ship. Everywhere.
You wouldn't know this is for unless you was that
guy night.

I mean, you'd grab this out of the hole, run on
there, BAM BAM on them feet! back into the
ocean would go a hurt, but not defeated,
giant clam. Ready to again when opportunity
was better.

You not even the coastal villages was safe from
them big clams. You know them big clams had an
range of about 15 miles. of that. I mean our
early pioneers and the built little houses
all up and the coast you know. A little inland
and stuff like And they didn't have houses like
we got now, with and stuff. They built little
out back. And late at night, maybe a kid would
have to go, and he'd go out there in the
moonlight. And all they'd hear for around...
(loud clap/belch)....one less kid for America. One
smiling, smurking, humungus clam.

So Americans built forts. Them forts. You them
pictures of them forts with the wooden all
around. You probably thought them was for Indians.
But that's stupid! 'Cause Indians know doors. But
clams didn't. if a clam knew about a door, so what?
A clam fit in a door. I mean, he'd come stomping
up to a fort at night, put them on them points, jump
back crying, coming out of them everywhere. But
Americans live in forts forever. You couldn't
just one big fort around America. How would you go
to the

So what did was they formed groups of people. I mean
they had groups of people all up and down the coast
these alliances. Like up North it was call the
Clamshell Alliance. And farther South is was called
the Catfish Alliance. had these Alliances all up and
down the coast defending themselves these
threatening monsters. These humungus clams. And
they'd go out there, if there was fifteen of them,
be singing songs in fifteen part harmony. And when
one part disappeared, that's how they knew where the
be.

Which is why Americans only in four part harmony to
very day. That proved to be too dangerous. See, what
they did was be singing these songs called Clam
Chanties, and they'd these big spears called clampoons.
And they'd be up and down the beach and the method
they eventually devised where they'd this guy, the
most strongest heavy true blue American, courageous
type dude they could find and have him out there
walking up and down the beach by with other chicken
dudes hiding the sand dunes somewhere.

be singing the verses. They'd be singing the chorus.
And clams would hear 'em. And clams hate music. So
would come out of the water and they'd after this one
guy. And all you'd see soon was flying all over,
the sand UPANDOWNTHEBEACHMANMANCLAMCLAMMANMANCLAM


FINALLYTHEMANWOULD jump over a big sand dune, over
the side, the clam come over the dune, fall in the
hole and fourteen guys would come out and stab the
shit out of him their clampoons.

the way it was. That was one way to deal with them.
The other way was to two clams together. l don't
believe it. I'm losing it. Hey. can you do. Another
shot to hell.

Hey, was serious back then. This was very serious.
I these songs now are just piddley folk songs. But
back then songs were controversial. These was
radical, almost revolutionary songs. Because was
different and was a threat to America. That's right.
So we want to sing this song about the one last...
You see what they did was was one man, he was one
of men, his name will always be remembered, his
name was Reuben Clamzo, and he was one of the last
clam men there ever was. He stuck the clam stab,
the last clampoon into the last clam that was ever
on continent.

Knowing he be out of work in an hour. He did it
anyway so you and me could go to the beach in
relative safety. That's right. Made safe for the
likes of you and me. And so we sing song in his
memory. He went into like most of them guys did.
And he got out of that when he died. You know, was
much dangerous than whales. Clams can run in the
water, on the water or on the ground, and are so big
sometimes that they can jump and they can their
kinda and kinda almost fly like one of them flying
squirrels.

You could be standing there that your perfectly
and all of a sudden WHOP....That's ' true...And so
this is the song of guy by the name of Reuben Clamzo,
and the song place right after he stabbed this clam
and the clam was, going through this kinda dance
over on the side somewhere. The song starts and he
goes into and takes you through the I next...

I sing the part of the guy on the by himself. I go
like "Poor old Reuben Clamzo" and you go "Clamzo Boys,
Clamzo". That's the part of the fourteen chicken dudes
on the other side. That's what used to sing. They'd be
calling these out of the water. Like taunting them,
making fun of them. Clams get real mad and come out.

Here we go. I want you to sing it in you ever have an
occasion to join such an Alliance. You know of these
are still around. Still defending America against
things like them clams. If you wants to join one, now
you have some historic background. So you know these
guys are coming from. It's not just 60's movement or
something, these go back a long time.

Notice the distinction you're going to to make now
between the first and easy "Clamzo Clamzo" and the
complicated "Clamzo Me Boys Clamzo". Stay serious.
Folk songs are serious. That's what Pete told me.
"Arlo I only to tell you one thing...folk songs are
serious". I said "right". do it in C for Clam...
Iet's do it in B...for boy that's a big clam... s do
it in G for Gee, I that big clam don't see me. Let's
do it in F...for he sees me. Let's do it in A...for A
clam is coming. Better get this song done quick. The
of Clamzo and His Strange Daughter in the Key of A.

1. Oh old Reuben Clamzo
(I) Clamzo boys
Oh poor old Clamzo
(II) Clamzo me boys

2. Oh, Reuben was no
(Clamzo Clamzo) (Refrain I)
So they him on a whaler
(Clamzo me Clamzo) (Refrain II)

3. Because he was no (Ref. I)
He would not do his (Ref. II)

4. he was so dirty (Ref. I)
We gave him and thirty (Ref. II)

5. Oh Reuben Clamzo's (Ref. I)
She begged her dad for (Ref. II)

6 She brang him and water (Ref. I)
And a bit more than she (Ref. II)

7 he got his seaman's papers (Ref. I)
He's a to the whalers (Ref. II)

8.And he sails where 'er the blow (Ref I)
As the bastard on the go (Ref. II)

9 Oh poor old Reuben (Ref. I)
Oh old Reuben Clamzo (Ref. II)