Luyện nghe bài hát Story of Reuben Clamzo & His Strange...

by Arlo

Wanna hear something? You know that never ate
clams. They didn't linguini! And so what happened
was that clams was allowed to grow in the
coastal of America for millions of years. And
they got big, and I ain't talking clams in
general, I'm talking about each clam! I mean one
was a couple of million years old or older. So
they could have got bigger this whole room. And
when get that big, God gives them little feet so
that they could walk around easier. And when get
feet, they get dangerous. I'm talking about
dangerous. I ain't talking about sitting the
water waiting for you. I'm talking coming after
you.

Imagine being on one of them coming over to
discover America, like Columbus or something,
at night on watch, everyone else is either drunk
or asleep. And you're for America and the
boat's going up and down. And you like it anyhow.
But you gotta stand and watch, for what. Only he
knows, and he watching. You hear the waves
lapping the side of the ship. The moon is
going the clouds. You hear the pitter patter of
footprints on deck. IS THAT YOU KIDS? IT AIN'T.
MY GOD. IT'S THIS GIANT CLAM!

Imagine little feet coming on deck. A clam twice
the size of the ship. first. You're standing
there shivering fear, you grab one of these. This
is a belaying pin. They used to have these in
the holes all around the ..you probably didn't
know what this is for; you had an idea, but
you were wrong. used to have these stuck in the
all along the sides of the ship. Everywhere.
You wouldn't know this is for unless you was that
guy night.

I mean, you'd grab out of the hole, run on over
there, BAM BAM on little feet! back into the
ocean would go a hurt, but not defeated,
giant clam. Ready to strike again opportunity
was better.

You know not even the villages was safe from
them big clams. You know them big had an inland
range of about 15 miles. Think of that. I our
early pioneers and the settlers built little
all up and the coast you know. A little inland
and stuff like that And they didn't have houses
we got now, bathrooms and stuff. They built little
out back. And late at night, maybe a kid would
have to go, and he'd go out there in the
moonlight. And all they'd hear for around...
(loud clap/belch)....one kid for America. One more
smiling, smurking, humungus clam.

So Americans forts. Them forts. You know them
pictures of them with the wooden points all
around. You probably thought points was for Indians.
But that's stupid! Indians know about doors. But
clams didn't. Even if a clam about a door, so what?
A clam couldn't fit in a door. I mean, he'd stomping
up to a fort at night, put feet on them points, jump
crying, tears coming out of them everywhere. But
Americans couldn't live in forever. You couldn't
just build one big around America. How would you go
to the

So what they did was formed groups of people. I mean
had groups of people all up and down the coast form
these little alliances. Like up it was call the
Clamshell Alliance. And farther South is was called
the Catfish Alliance. They had these all up and
the coast defending themselves against these
threatening monsters. These giant clams. And
they'd go out there, if there was maybe of them,
they'd be singing songs in part harmony. And when
one part disappeared, that's how they knew where the
be.

Which is why Americans only sing in four harmony to
this day. That proved to be too dangerous. See, what
did was they'd be singing these songs called Clam
Chanties, and they'd have big spears called clampoons.
And they'd be up and down the beach and the method
they eventually devised where have this guy, the
most strongest heavy duty true blue American,
type dude they could find and they'd have him out
walking up and down the by himself with other chicken
hiding behind the sand dunes somewhere.

He'd be singing the verses. be singing the chorus.
And clams would hear 'em. And clams hate music. So
would come out of the water and they'd come after one
guy. And all you'd see pretty was flying all over,
the sand flying


FINALLYTHEMANWOULD jump over a big sand dune, roll
the side, the would come over the dune, fall in the
hole and fourteen guys come out there and stab the
out of him with their clampoons.

That's the way it was. That was one way to deal them.
The way was to weld two clams together. l don't
it. I'm losing it. Hey. What can you do. Another
night to hell.

Hey, this was serious back then. This was serious.
I mean songs now are just piddley folk songs. But
back then these were controversial. These was
radical, revolutionary songs. Because times was
different and clams was a to America. That's right.
So we want to sing this song about the one last...
You see what they did was was one man, he was one
of men, his name will always be remembered, his
name was Reuben Clamzo, and he was one of the great
clam men there was. He stuck the last clam stab,
the clampoon into the last clam that was ever seen
on continent.

he would be out of work in an hour. He did it
anyway so you and me could go to the beach in
relative safety. That's right. Made safe for the
likes of you and me. And so we sing song in his
memory. He went into whaling like most of them did.
And he got out of when he died. You know, clams was
much more dangerous whales. Clams can run in the
water, on the water or on the ground, and are so big
sometimes that they can jump and they can their
kinda and kinda almost fly like one of them flying
squirrels.

You could be standing thinking that your perfectly
and all of a sudden WHOP....That's ' true...And so
this is the song of this guy by the name of Clamzo,
and the song takes place right he stabbed this clam
and the was, going through this kinda death dance
over on the side somewhere. The song there and he
into whaling and takes you through the I next...

I the part of the guy on the beach by himself. I go
this: "Poor old Reuben Clamzo" and you go "Clamzo Boys,
Clamzo". That's the part of the fourteen dudes over
on the other side. That's what used to sing. They'd be
calling these clams out of the water. taunting them,
making fun of them. Clams would get real mad and out.

Here we go. I want you to sing it in case you have an
occasion to join an Alliance. You know some of these
Alliances are still around. Still defending against
things them clams. If you ever wants to join one, now
you have some background. So you know where these
guys are coming from. not just some 60's movement or
something, these things go back a time.

the distinction you're going to have to make now
between the first and "Clamzo Boys Clamzo" and the
more "Clamzo Me Boys Clamzo". Stay serious.
Folk songs are serious. That's what Pete Seeger me.
"Arlo I want to tell you one thing...folk songs are
serious". I "right". Let's do it in C for Clam...
Iet's do it in B...for boy a big clam... Iet' s do
it in G for Gee, I hope big clam don't see me. Let's
do it in F...for he sees me. Let's do it in A...for A
clam is coming. Better get this song quick. The Story
of Clamzo and His Strange Daughter in the Key of A.

1. Oh poor old Reuben
(I) Clamzo Clamzo
Oh poor old Reuben
(II) Clamzo me boys

2. Oh, was no sailor
(Clamzo Clamzo) (Refrain I)
So they shipped him on a
(Clamzo me Clamzo) (Refrain II)

3. he was no beauty (Ref. I)
He not do his duty (Ref. II)

4. he was so dirty (Ref. I)
We him five and thirty (Ref. II)

5. Oh Reuben Clamzo's (Ref. I)
She begged her dad for (Ref. II)

6 She him wine and water (Ref. I)
And a bit than she oughta (Ref. II)

7 Well he got his papers (Ref. I)
He's a to the whalers (Ref. II)

8.And he sails where 'er the whalefish (Ref I)
As the bastard on the go (Ref. II)

9 Oh poor old Clamzo (Ref. I)
Oh old Reuben Clamzo (Ref. II)