Luyện nghe bài hát Story of Reuben Clamzo & His Strange...

by Arlo

Wanna hear something? You that Indians never ate
clams. They didn't have linguini! And so happened
was clams was allowed to grow unmolested in the
waters of America for millions of years. And
they got big, and I ain't talking about in
general, I'm about each clam! I mean each one
was a couple of million years old or older. So
they could have got than this whole room. And
when they get that big, God gives them little so
that they could around easier. And when they get
feet, they get dangerous. I'm talking about
dangerous. I ain't talking about under the
water waiting for you. I'm talking about coming
you.

Imagine on one of them boats coming over to
America, like Columbus or something, standing
there at night on watch, everyone is either drunk
or asleep. And you're for America and the
boat's going up and down. And you like it anyhow.
But you gotta there and watch, for what. Only he
knows, and he watching. You hear the waves
lapping the side of the ship. The moon is
behind the clouds. You hear the pitter patter of
little footprints on deck. IS THAT YOU IT AIN'T.
MY GOD. THIS HUMUNGUS GIANT CLAM!

Imagine those little feet coming on deck. A twice
the size of the ship. first. You're standing
there with fear, you grab one of these. This
is a belaying pin. They used to these stuck in
the holes all around the ship ..you probably
know what is for; you probably had an idea, but
you were wrong. They used to have stuck in the
holes all the sides of the ship. Everywhere.
You wouldn't know what this is for you was that
guy night.

I mean, you'd grab this out of the hole, run on
there, BAM BAM on them little feet! into the
ocean go a hurt, but not defeated, humungus
giant clam. to strike again when opportunity
was better.

You know not the coastal villages was safe from
big clams. You know them big clams had an inland
range of about 15 miles. of that. I mean our
early pioneers and the settlers built houses
all up and the coast you know. A little inland
and like that And they didn't have houses like
we got now, with and stuff. They built little
out back. And late at night, maybe a kid would
have to go, and he'd go out there in the
moonlight. And all they'd hear for around...
(loud clap/belch)....one less kid for America. One
smiling, smurking, humungus clam.

So Americans built forts. Them forts. You them
pictures of them forts with the wooden all
around. You probably them points was for Indians.
But that's stupid! 'Cause Indians know doors. But
clams didn't. if a clam knew about a door, so what?
A clam couldn't fit in a door. I mean, he'd come
up to a fort at night, put feet on them points, jump
crying, tears coming out of them everywhere. But
Americans couldn't in forts forever. You couldn't
just build one big fort around America. How you go
to the

So what they did was they groups of people. I mean
they had groups of people all up and down the coast
these alliances. Like up North it was call the
Clamshell Alliance. And down South is was called
the Alliance. They had these Alliances all up and
the coast defending themselves against these
threatening monsters. These humungus clams. And
go out there, if there was maybe fifteen of them,
they'd be singing in fifteen part harmony. And when
one part disappeared, that's how they knew the clam
be.

Which is why Americans only sing in four harmony to
this very day. That to be too dangerous. See, what
they did was they'd be these songs called Clam
Chanties, and they'd have big spears called clampoons.
And be walking up and down the beach and the method
they eventually devised they'd have this guy, the
most heavy duty true blue American, courageous
type dude they could and they'd have him out there
up and down the beach by himself with other chicken
dudes hiding behind the dunes somewhere.

He'd be singing the verses. be singing the chorus.
And would hear 'em. And clams hate music. So clams
would come out of the and they'd come after this one
guy. And all you'd see pretty soon was all over,
the flying UPANDOWNTHEBEACHMANMANCLAMCLAMMANMANCLAM


FINALLYTHEMANWOULD jump over a big sand dune, over
the side, the clam come over the dune, fall in the
hole and fourteen would come out there and stab the
out of him with their clampoons.

That's the way it was. was one way to deal with them.
The other way was to weld two clams together. l
believe it. I'm it. Hey. What can you do. Another
shot to hell.

Hey, this was serious then. This was very serious.
I mean these songs now are just folk songs. But
back then these songs controversial. These was
radical, almost songs. Because times was
different and clams was a to America. That's right.
So we want to sing this tonight about the one last...
You see they did was there was one man, he was one
of men, his name will always be remembered, his
name was Reuben Clamzo, and he was one of the great
clam men there ever was. He stuck the last stab,
the last clampoon into the last clam was ever seen
on continent.

Knowing he be out of work in an hour. He did it
anyway so that you and me could go to the in
relative safety. That's right. Made America for the
of you and me. And so we sing this song in his
memory. He went into whaling like most of guys did.
And he got out of that when he died. You know, was
much more dangerous whales. Clams can run in the
water, on the water or on the ground, and are so big
that they can jump and they can spread their
kinda shells and almost fly like one of them flying
squirrels.

You be standing there thinking that your perfectly
safe and all of a WHOP....That's ' true...And so
is the song of this guy by the name of Reuben Clamzo,
and the song takes place right after he stabbed this
and the clam was, going through this death dance
on the side somewhere. The song starts there and he
goes into whaling and you through the I next...

I sing the part of the guy on the by himself. I go
this: "Poor old Reuben Clamzo" and you go "Clamzo Boys,
Clamzo". That's the part of the fourteen chicken over
on the other side. That's what they to sing. They'd be
calling these out of the water. Like taunting them,
making fun of them. Clams would get mad and come out.

Here we go. I want you to sing it in case you ever an
occasion to join an Alliance. You know some of these
Alliances are still around. defending America against
things like them clams. If you wants to join one, now
you have some background. So you know where these
guys are coming from. It's not just some 60's or
something, these things go back a time.

Notice the distinction you're going to to make now
between the first and easy "Clamzo Clamzo" and the
more complicated "Clamzo Me Clamzo". Stay serious.
songs are serious. That's what Pete Seeger told me.
"Arlo I only want to you one thing...folk songs are
serious". I said "right". do it in C for Clam...
Iet's do it in B...for boy a big clam... Iet' s do
it in G for Gee, I hope that big clam see me. Let's
do it in F...for he sees me. Let's do it in A...for A
clam is coming. Better get song done quick. The Story
of Reuben Clamzo and His Daughter in the Key of A.

1. Oh poor old Clamzo
(I) Clamzo boys
Oh old Reuben Clamzo
(II) me boys Clamzo

2. Oh, Reuben was no
(Clamzo Clamzo) (Refrain I)
So they him on a whaler
(Clamzo me Clamzo) (Refrain II)

3. Because he was no (Ref. I)
He would not do his (Ref. II)

4. Because he was so (Ref. I)
We gave him five and (Ref. II)

5. Oh Reuben daughter (Ref. I)
She her dad for mercy (Ref. II)

6 She him wine and water (Ref. I)
And a bit more than she (Ref. II)

7 Well he got his seaman's (Ref. I)
He's a terror to the (Ref. II)

8.And he sails where 'er the whalefish (Ref I)
As the bastard on the go (Ref. II)

9 Oh poor old Reuben (Ref. I)
Oh poor old Clamzo (Ref. II)