Luyện nghe bài hát Story of Reuben Clamzo & His Strange...

by Guthrie

hear something? You know that Indians never ate
clams. They didn't linguini! And so what happened
was that clams was allowed to unmolested in the
coastal waters of for millions of years. And
they got big, and I ain't about clams in
general, I'm talking each clam! I mean each one
was a couple of million years old or older. So
could have got bigger than this whole room. And
when they get big, God gives them little feet so
they could walk around easier. And when they get
feet, they get dangerous. I'm talking real
dangerous. I ain't talking about under the
waiting for you. I'm talking about coming after
you.

Imagine being on one of them coming over to
discover America, Columbus or something, standing
there at on watch, everyone else is either drunk
or asleep. And you're for America and the
boat's up and down. And you don't like it anyhow.
But you gotta stand and watch, for what. Only he
knows, and he watching. You hear the waves
lapping the side of the ship. The moon is
behind the clouds. You hear the pitter patter of
little footprints on deck. IS YOU KIDS? IT AIN'T.
MY GOD. THIS HUMUNGUS GIANT CLAM!

Imagine those feet coming on deck. A clam twice
the of the ship. Feet first. You're standing
shivering with fear, you grab one of these. This
is a belaying pin. They used to have stuck in
the all around the ship ..you probably didn't
know this is for; you probably had an idea, but
you were wrong. They used to these stuck in the
holes all the sides of the ship. Everywhere.
You know what this is for unless you was that
guy night.

I mean, you'd grab this out of the hole, run on
there, BAM BAM on little feet! back into the
ocean would go a hurt, but not defeated,
giant clam. Ready to strike when opportunity
was better.

You know not even the coastal was safe from
them big clams. You know big clams had an inland
range of 15 miles. Think of that. I mean our
early pioneers and the settlers built houses
all up and down the you know. A little inland
and stuff like that And they didn't have houses
we got now, bathrooms and stuff. They built little
privies out back. And at night, maybe a kid would
to go, and he'd go stomping out there in the
moonlight. And all hear for miles around...
(loud clap/belch)....one kid for America. One more
smiling, smurking, humungus clam.

So Americans forts. Them forts. You know them
pictures of them forts the wooden points all
around. You probably them points was for Indians.
But that's stupid! Indians know about doors. But
didn't. Even if a clam knew about a door, so what?
A clam couldn't fit in a door. I mean, come stomping
up to a at night, put them feet on them points, jump
back crying, tears coming out of everywhere. But
Americans couldn't live in forever. You couldn't
just build one big fort around America. How you go
to the

So what they did was they groups of people. I mean
they had of people all up and down the coast form
these little alliances. Like up it was call the
Clamshell Alliance. And farther down is was called
the Catfish Alliance. They had Alliances all up and
down the coast defending themselves these
monsters. These humungus giant clams. And
they'd go out there, if there was maybe of them,
be singing songs in fifteen part harmony. And when
one disappeared, that's how they knew where the clam
be.

Which is why Americans only sing in four harmony to
this very day. proved to be too dangerous. See, what
they did was they'd be singing these songs Clam
Chanties, and they'd have big spears called clampoons.
And they'd be walking up and down the beach and the
they eventually where they'd have this guy, the
most strongest heavy true blue American, courageous
type dude they could find and they'd have him out
walking up and down the beach by with other chicken
dudes hiding behind the sand somewhere.

He'd be the verses. They'd be singing the chorus.
And clams would hear 'em. And clams music. So clams
come out of the water and they'd come after this one
guy. And all you'd see soon was flying all over,
the flying UPANDOWNTHEBEACHMANMANCLAMCLAMMANMANCLAM


FINALLYTHEMANWOULD jump a big sand dune, roll over
the side, the clam would come the dune, fall in the
hole and guys would come out there and stab the
shit out of him with clampoons.

the way it was. That was one way to deal with them.
The other way was to weld two together. l don't
believe it. I'm losing it. Hey. What can you do.
shot to hell.

Hey, this was serious back then. was very serious.
I mean these songs now are just piddley songs. But
back then these songs were controversial. was
radical, almost songs. Because times was
different and clams was a threat to America. right.
So we want to this song tonight about the one last...
You see what they did was was one man, he was one
of these men, his will always be remembered, his
name was Reuben Clamzo, and he was one of the last
clam men there was. He stuck the last clam stab,
the last into the last clam that was ever seen
on continent.

Knowing he would be out of in an hour. He did it
anyway so you and me could go to the beach in
relative safety. That's right. Made America for the
likes of you and me. And so we sing song in his
memory. He went into whaling like of them guys did.
And he got out of that when he died. You know, was
much dangerous than whales. Clams can run in the
water, on the water or on the ground, and are so big
sometimes that they can and they can spread their
kinda and kinda almost fly like one of them flying
squirrels.

You could be standing there that your perfectly
and all of a sudden WHOP....That's ' true...And so
this is the song of this guy by the of Reuben Clamzo,
and the song takes right after he stabbed this clam
and the clam was, through this kinda death dance
over on the somewhere. The song starts there and he
goes into whaling and takes you the I next...

I the part of the guy on the beach by himself. I go
like this: "Poor old Clamzo" and you go "Clamzo Boys,
Clamzo". That's the part of the fourteen dudes over
on the other side. That's what they to sing. They'd be
calling clams out of the water. Like taunting them,
fun of them. Clams would get real mad and come out.

Here we go. I want you to sing it in you ever have an
occasion to join such an Alliance. You some of these
Alliances are still around. defending America against
things them clams. If you ever wants to join one, now
you have some background. So you know where these
guys are coming from. It's not just some movement or
something, these things go back a time.

Notice the distinction you're going to have to now
the first and easy "Clamzo Boys Clamzo" and the
more complicated "Clamzo Me Clamzo". Stay serious.
Folk songs are serious. That's what Pete Seeger me.
"Arlo I want to tell you one thing...folk songs are
serious". I said "right". do it in C for Clam...
Iet's do it in B...for boy a big clam... Iet' s do
it in G for Gee, I that big clam don't see me. Let's
do it in F...for he sees me. do it back in A...for A
clam is coming. get this song done quick. The Story
of Reuben Clamzo and His Strange in the Key of A.

1. Oh old Reuben Clamzo
(I) Clamzo boys
Oh old Reuben Clamzo
(II) Clamzo me Clamzo

2. Oh, was no sailor
(Clamzo Clamzo) (Refrain I)
So they him on a whaler
(Clamzo me Clamzo) (Refrain II)

3. he was no beauty (Ref. I)
He would not do his (Ref. II)

4. Because he was so (Ref. I)
We gave him five and (Ref. II)

5. Oh Reuben Clamzo's (Ref. I)
She begged her dad for (Ref. II)

6 She brang him and water (Ref. I)
And a bit more than she (Ref. II)

7 Well he got his papers (Ref. I)
He's a to the whalers (Ref. II)

8.And he where 'er the whalefish blow (Ref I)
As the hardest on the go (Ref. II)

9 Oh poor old Clamzo (Ref. I)
Oh poor old Reuben (Ref. II)