I own a mansion, but live in a A bed, but I sleep on the couch I'm Mr.Brightside, glass is full But my tank is half empty, gasket blew
This always happens, thirty minutes home Gotta lay a log cabin and only option I have is bathroom In a public stall a football So every time someone walks in the I get Madden ''Shady, up?''- What? Come on, man, I'm crapping And you're asking me for my got damn autograph on a Oh, that's odd, I happened to run out of tissue Yeah, hand me that, on thought I'd be glad then ''Thanks, dawg, Todd, a big fan'' I wiped my ass with it, crumbled it up in a wad and it back and Told him ''Todd, you're the shit'' does all of this crap end? Can't park my ass without causing an Puff my gas, cut my grass, can't take out the fucking Without someone passing my sub harassing I'd my blessings, but I suck at math I'd rather wallow bass suffering from succotash But the antacid is my gas I mix my corn with my fucking Potato, so what, ho, kiss my bumpkin ass Southern roots, what the fuck is upperclass Call dinner, call dinner supper Tupperware in a covered wear up the ass Stuck in the past, iPod, what the is that? to the core, mule, I'm a stubborn ass
Maybe that's why I so strange Got it all, but I still won't Maybe that's why I can't leave It's the that keeps me going This is the I need I can never turn my back on a that made me (Life's good to me so far)
They call me classless, I heard that, I second and that Don't what the fuck I would doing if it weren't rap Probably be a giant But I blew, never turned Turned forty and sag Teenagers act more fucking mature, Fuck you say to me? I on my own terms, asshole, I'm going berzerk My are bad, but I love the perks my work has I get to meet people, look at her, dag Her nylons ran, her skirt And I she drag-races, *burp* swag my Hanes shirt tag You're Patrick (yeah) work, skag We'd be the perfect 'Cause a vacuum, I'm a dirtbag My apologies, no disrespect to But what the heck is all of buttons? You expect me to sit and learn that? Fuck I do to hear this new song from Luda? Be an expert at I'd rather be an encyclopedia Britannica, hell with a I'm still on my manual from Zelda Nintendo, bitch, run, jump, punch, stab and I the Mozzarella on my spaghetti, put in on Make a sandwich with welch's and They say this spray is bad for my health, but I think there's white trash from the trailer Jed Clampett, Sanford welfare mentality helps to Keep me grounded, that's why I never full advantage of wealth, I to dwell within these parameters Still cramming the shelves of hamburger helper I can't help it, this is the hand I was dealt to Creature of habit, feel I'm trapped in an animal shelter With all these pet God dammit to hell, I can't stand all these kids with their camera I go anywhere, I get so mad I can yell, the Other day someone got elaborate and stuck a fucking dead cat in my mailbox to Burger King, they spit on my onion rings I my karma is catching up with me
Maybe that's why I so strange Got it all, but I won't change Maybe that's why I can't leave It's the motivation that keeps me This is the I need I can never turn my on a city that made me (Life's good to me so far)
Got friends on Facebook, all over the Not sure that means, they tell me it's good So I'm artist of the decade, I even got a I'd hang it up, but the frame is all
I'm trying to be lowkey, hopefully notices me In produce hunched over, giant Over stop as I over to the frozen aisle By the yogurt this guy approached me Embarrassed, I just did with Hova over, I'm hiding in Kroeger buying groceries He just had front row seats, me to sign this poster Then insults me "wow, up close didn't you had crow's feet" I'm at a lost till shopping at Costco Sloppy Joe's, buck Got picking my nose, ah Look see these two hot hoes Finger up in one of my nostrils Right next to 'em at the light This shit is taking forever to change I'm stuck, these bitches are it rubbing it in Chuckling, do nothing, play it off ''What you bumping? Trunk Muzik? Yelawolf's better'', fucking They want me to flip at the label, but I won't to it The pressure, they want me to follow up with another one Recovery Was so highly coveted, but good is a fucking recovery if I fumble it? I'mma drop the ball if I don't get a grip Hopping on on you sons of bitches Wrong subdivison to fuck with, Quit snapping fucking of my kids I love my city, but you me to my limit, what a pity The shit I complain It's like there ain't a cloud in the sky and it's out Kool Aid stain on the couch, I'd get it out Bitch, I got an in my house Ants and a mouse, I'm the dream
Maybe that's why I feel so Got it all, but I won't change Maybe that's why I can't Detroit It's the motivation that keeps me is the inspiration I need I can never turn my back on a city that me (Life's been to me so far)