Rumpty Rump

A'ight, stop whatcha doin'
'Cause I'm about to ruin
The image and the style that ya used to
I look funny, but yo, I'm makin' money, see

So yo world I hope you're ready for me
Now gather 'round I'm the new fool in town
And my sound's laid down by the Underground
I drink up all the Hennessey ya got on ya shelf
So just let me introduce myself

My name is Humpty, pronounced with a Umpty
Yo ladies, oh how I like to funk thee
And all the rappers in the top ten, please allow me to bump thee
I'm steppin' tall, y'all, and just like Humpty Dumpty

You're gonna fall when the stereo's pump me
I like to rhyme, I like my beats funky
I'm spunky I like my oatmeal lumpy
I'm sick wit dis, straight gangsta mack

But sometimes I get ridiculous
I'll eat up all your crackers and your licorice
Hey yo fat girl, c'mere are ya ticklish?
Yeah, I called ya fat, look at me, I'm skinny
It never stopped me from gettin' busy
I'm a freak

I like the girls with the boom
I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom
I'm crazy, allow me to amaze thee
They say I'm ugly but it just don't faze me
I'm still gettin' in the girls' pants
And I even got my own dance

The Humpty dance is your chance to do the hump
Do the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump
Do the Humpty Hump, just watch me do the Humpty Hump
Do ya know what I'm doin', doin' the Humpty Hump
Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump

People say, Yo, Humpty, you're really funny lookin'
That's all right 'cause I get things cookin'
Ya stare, ya glare, ya constantly try to compare me
But ya can't get near me
I give 'em more, see, and on the floor, B
All the girls, they adore me

Oh yes, ladies, I'm really bein' sincere
'Cause in a sixty-nine my Humpty nose will tickle ya rear
My nose is big, I'm not ashamed
Big like a pickle, I'm still gettin' paid

I get laid by the ladies, ya know I'm in charge
Both how I'm livin' and my nose is large
I get stupid, I shoot an arrow like Cupid
I use a word that don't mean nothin', like looptid

I sang on do whutcha like, and if ya missed it
I'm the one who said just grab 'em in the biscuits
Also told ya that I like to bite, well, yeah, I guess it's obvious
I also like to write, all ya had to do was give Humpty a chance
And now I'm gonna do my dance

The Humpty dance is your chance to do the hump
Do the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump
Do the Humpty Hump, just watch me do the Humpty Hump
Do ya know what I'm doin', doin' the Humpty Hump
Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump

Oh, yeah, that's the break, y'all
Let me hear a little bit of that bass groove right here
Oh, yeah, now that I told ya a little bit about myself
Let me tell ya a little bit about this dance
It's real easy to do, check it out

First I limp to the side like my leg was broken
Shakin' and twitchin' kinda like I was smokin'
Crazy, wack, funky people say
Ya look like MC Hammer on crack, Humpty

That's all right 'cause my body's in motion
It's supposed to look like a fit or a convulsion
Anyone can play this game
This is my dance, y'all, Humpty Hump's my name

No two people will do it the same
Ya got it down when ya appear to be in pain
Humpin', funkin', jumpin', jig around, shakin' ya rump
And when the dude a chump pump points a finger like a stump
Tell him Step off, I'm doin' the hump

The Humpty dance is your chance to do the hump
Do the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump
Do the Humpty Hump, just watch me do the Humpty Hump
Do ya know what I'm doin', doin' the Humpty Hump
Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump

Black people, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
White people, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
Puerto Ricans, do the Humpty Hump, just keep on doin' the hump
Samoans, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
Let's get stupid

The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump
Do the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump
Do the Humpty Hump, just watch me do the Humpty Hump
Do ya know what I'm doin', doin' the Humpty Hump
Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
Oh, yeah, come on and break it down

Once again, the Underground is in the house
I'd like to send a shout out to the whole world
Keep on doin' the Humpty dance and to the ladies
Peace and humptiness forever