Rookie

Rookie, I never thought this could be me
I guess you never do until it's happening to you
Like all the fun turns into shame
And all the could have beens rearrange

So little time, so many crimes
Guilt like a chain chokes my will away
Redemption never seemed so cruel
And all my Gods never seemed so weak

Wake up, engage now
Derailed and enraged, it used to be so easy
Get up, Im game now
Sick and I'm tame, counting cost with lost

Where is the hope they gave
Don't think that I can't hear you laugh
I used to be a lot like you but now I'm only me
Drink to pills, to shots turns into shock

A habit and a pawn
For every hand goes round
The pain gets so damned loud
The hammer hits and I'm down

Trust no one, hey, why should I
They gave me the poison
Dressed like life cheated
Smacked up and diseased

Cry to sleep and fight to eat
Used to be a pro at this
Now I've broken my own wrist
Rotten teeth and life unsung
You'll forget me when I'm gone