We wish you holidays, whoever you may be So merry Christmas, Kwanzaa, Chanukah, or heck all We've modernized these for the massive bourgeoisie Love, The Updated Christmas Carol You'd not judge, you better not hate Better not bully or Progressive Santa's coming to making a list of gluten free foods He won't take a peek at J-Law's Progressive coming to town He's 50 different And all for tax He'll protect all your Well, as as they've been born Rudolph the Red Nosed Rudolph the red nosed (reindeer) Had an advantageous (he outlived his friends) He passed his red traits on (traits on) Darwin that's how it goes (evolution's not a theory) Mary did you know that your boy supports the NRA Mary did you that your baby boy is white the halls with kujichagulia Kwa wa wa wa wa wa wa Give zawadi, benderas Kwa wa wa wa wa wa wa Throw your up in the air-uh You're a one, Mr. Grinch You're in finesse That greenish determines your success Mr. Racist Whos constrain you to the issues they continue to an outlier, Mr. Grinch You give the Whos a They say heart is 3/5ths normal You're either or white Mr. Don't walk the of Whoville you might fight a cop the Whos will not indict I'm dreaming of a racially ambiguous Away in a manger Jesus and crew His got cut cause hey Christ was a Jew O holy night, the are brightly shining It is the night Jesus did holy Joseph watched golf, his chair reclining As Mary birthed a child, I think a donkey was Three men came, with GPS they found him Christ in a barn, as his omniscient baby-daddy tucked him in Jesus on his knees His mom shared it on O device! O night, when celebrated Christmas