We wish you holidays, whoever you may be So Christmas, Kwanzaa, Chanukah, or heck all three We've these jingles for the massive bourgeoisie Love, The Christmas Carol Team You'd better not judge, you not hate Better not bully or Progressive Santa's coming to He's making a list of free foods He won't take a peek at nudes Progressive coming to town He's 50 different And all for tax He'll protect all children Well, as as they've been born Rudolph the Red Nosed the red nosed reindeer (reindeer) Had an nose (he outlived his friends) He his bright red traits on (traits on) said that's how it goes (evolution's not a theory) Mary did you know your baby boy supports the NRA Mary did you know your baby boy is white the halls with kujichagulia Kwa wa wa wa wa wa wa zawadi, hang benderas Kwa wa wa wa wa wa wa Throw your hands up in the a green one, Mr. Grinch You're in finesse That greenish epidermis your success Mr. Racist Whos constrain you to the they continue to suppress an outlier, Mr. Grinch You give the a fright They say your heart is normal You're either wrong or Mr. Don't walk the streets of you might fight a cop the Whos will not indict I'm dreaming of a racially ambiguous in a manger with Jesus and crew His schmeckle got cut cause hey was a Jew O holy night, the stars are brightly It is the night Jesus did something Joseph golf, his leather chair reclining As Mary a child, I think a donkey was involved Three wise men came, with GPS they him Christ lied in a barn, as his omniscient baby-daddy him in Jesus crawled on his His mom it on snapchat O device! O night, when Christ celebrated