We wish you happy holidays, you may be So merry Christmas, Kwanzaa, Chanukah, or all three We've modernized jingles for the massive bourgeoisie Love, The Updated Carol Team You'd better not judge, you better not not bully or discriminate Progressive Santa's to town He's making a list of gluten free He won't take a peek at J-Law's Progressive coming to town 50 different races And all for tax He'll protect all children Well, as long as they've born the Red Nosed Reindeer Rudolph the red nosed (reindeer) Had an nose (he outlived his friends) He his bright red traits on (traits on) Darwin said that's how it (evolution's not a theory) did you know that your baby boy supports the NRA Mary did you know your baby boy is white Deck the halls with Kwa wa wa wa wa wa wa Give zawadi, hang Kwa wa wa wa wa wa wa your hands up in the air-uh You're a one, Mr. Grinch You're lacking in That greenish epidermis determines success Mr. Racist Whos you to the issues they continue to suppress an outlier, Mr. Grinch You the Whos a fright They say your heart is normal either wrong or white Mr. Don't walk the of Whoville you might fight a cop the Whos will not indict I'm dreaming of a racially holiday Away in a manger Jesus and crew His got cut cause hey Christ was a Jew O holy night, the stars are shining It is the night Jesus did holy watched golf, his leather chair reclining As Mary a child, I think a donkey was involved Three wise men came, with GPS found him Christ in a barn, as his omniscient baby-daddy tucked him in Jesus on his knees His mom shared it on O device! O night, when Christ celebrated