Present Tense

A child on church steps
Reminding me of me
Not in my current state
More content, more clean at seventeen
Whoever he's talking to
I pray they're listening
So he wont end up like me

Try to see the good in everything
But that young man's eyes are not for me
They've been blinded and removed
Ground and lit and smoked by breaths too deep
I'm exhaling but my stomach stays week
Like I've swallowed any keys
That may unlock the answers I seek

And still, I'm sweating through my sheets, too many nights on end
Talks and dreams of how I thought I'd be a better man
When I compare the past to my present tense
I'm as clean, as clean as I have ever been

Saw an old man sitting alone
Lunch on a holiday
Wondered who he used to see with him
And it sparked in side of me
The future that I used to see
the way I feel today
The visions that I used to paint
And the canvases in my basement sitting blank

Why can't I accept what's offered to me?
Why can't I accept what's offered to me?

And still, I'm sweating through my sheets, too many nights on end
Talks and dreams of how I thought I'd be a better man
When I compare the past to my present tense
I'm as clean, as clean as I have ever been