I was sitting naked in a Holiday Inn in Orlando And it was the morning of the day of the year I didn't know who I was and I I mightve been Evan Dando But if I was him what the hell was I doing here
So I myself one simple question What would I do with the rest of my If I knew I couldnt fail, I I'd get the hell out of Orlando And find me a rich and beautiful
'Cause I want to do a damn thing And I to be appreciated And I want to get paid And I dont to be hated
I want to do a damn thing lie in the sun And be loved, loved, Loved, loved by
So I up the front desk to see if I could rent a porno said you better have a credit card I said, Honey, Im pretty up but I aint got no Visa I said, could you please, uh, help me? She said she was sorry but I think she was disgusted
And I was kinda disgusted myself 'cause it had all come to this And I felt like a pervert but goddamn it lonely youre sitting in your hotel room naked as a jaybird Down in Orlando in the of the night
So I up an old friend to see how he was doing But he sounded like a robot and it was like I barely him So I I had to go, then I couldnt take it any longer You the desire to throw my naked body Out the fifth floor of the Holiday Inn getting stronger
I to take a cold shower but I couldnt get my nerve up I sat in that hotel room and tried to cut my own hair That was the worst that I had all day But goddamn, it gets lonely in F L O R I D A
I thought to myself just what the hell was a jaybird And what the hell does it look like and what the hell am I doing So I to write a song about it but this is all I got You know I sang it for your girlfriend and she she liked it a lot
Except the part about killing And the part trying to find a rich wife She said, You should have gone to sea You might have had a better
I said, Honey, thanks for the input, thanks for the But I think the only way Im ever going back to Orlando Is if I life twice
'Cause I dont to do a damn thing And I to be appreciated And I want to get paid And I dont want to be
I dont want to do a thing lie in the sun And be loved, loved, Loved, loved by