I was sitting naked in a Inn down in Orlando And it was the of the last day of the year I know who I was and I thought I mightve been Evan Dando But if I was him what the hell was I doing here
So I asked one simple question would I do with the rest of my life? If I I couldnt fail, I guess I'd get the hell out of Orlando And find me a and beautiful wife
'Cause I want to do a damn thing And I want to be And I to get paid well And I dont want to be
I dont want to do a thing lie in the sun And be loved, loved, Loved, loved by
So I called up the front desk to see if I could a porno They said you better have a credit I said, Honey, Im pretty hard up but I aint got no I said, Honey could you please, uh, me? She she was sorry but I think she was just disgusted
And I was kinda disgusted myself it had all come down to this And I felt like a pervert but goddamn it lonely When sitting in your hotel room naked as a jaybird in Orlando in the middle of the night
So I called up an old to see how he was doing But he like a robot and it was like I barely knew him So I I had to go, then I couldnt take it any longer You the desire to throw my naked body Out the floor of the Holiday Inn kept getting stronger
I tried to take a cold shower but I couldnt get my up I just sat in that hotel room and tried to cut my own That was the worst idea I had all day But goddamn, it gets lonely in F L O R I D A
Then I thought to myself just what the hell was a And just the hell does it look like and what the hell am I doing So I to write a song about it but this is all I got You know I sang it for your and she said she liked it a lot
Except the part killing myself And the part about trying to find a rich She said, You should have to sea world You might have had a time
I said, Honey, for the input, thanks for the advice But I think that the only way Im ever going to Orlando Is if I live life
'Cause I dont to do a damn thing And I to be appreciated And I want to get well And I dont to be hated
I dont want to do a damn lie in the sun And be loved, loved, Loved, by everyone