I was sitting in a Holiday Inn down in Orlando And it was the morning of the last day of the I didn't know who I was and I thought I mightve been Dando But if I was him then the hell was I doing here
So I asked one simple question What would I do the rest of my life? If I knew I couldnt fail, I I'd get the hell out of Orlando And find me a rich and wife
'Cause I dont to do a damn thing And I to be appreciated And I to get paid well And I dont want to be
I want to do a damn thing lie in the sun And be loved, loved, Loved, loved by
So I called up the desk to see if I could rent a porno They said you better have a card I said, Honey, Im pretty hard up but I aint got no I said, could you please, uh, help me? She she was sorry but I think she was just disgusted
And I was kinda myself 'cause it had all come down to this And I like a pervert but goddamn it gets lonely When youre in your hotel room naked as a jaybird Down in Orlando in the of the night
So I called up an old friend to see how he was But he sounded like a and it was like I barely knew him So I said I had to go, then I take it any longer You know the desire to throw my body Out the fifth floor of the Holiday Inn kept stronger
I to take a cold shower but I couldnt get my nerve up I just sat in that hotel and tried to cut my own hair That was the worst idea I had all day But goddamn, it gets down in F L O R I D A
I thought to myself just what the hell was a jaybird And just what the hell does it look like and what the am I doing So I tried to write a song it but this is all I got You know I sang it for girlfriend and she said she liked it a lot
Except the about killing myself And the part about to find a rich wife She said, You should have to sea world You have had a better time
I said, Honey, thanks for the input, thanks for the But I think that the only way Im going back to Orlando Is if I live life
'Cause I dont want to do a damn And I want to be And I want to get paid And I want to be hated
I dont to do a damn thing lie in the sun And be loved, loved, Loved, loved by