I was sitting naked in a Inn down in Orlando And it was the of the last day of the year I didn't know who I was and I thought I mightve been Evan But if I was him then the hell was I doing here
So I asked one simple question What would I do with the rest of my If I knew I couldnt fail, I guess I'd get the out of Orlando And find me a rich and beautiful
'Cause I dont want to do a damn And I to be appreciated And I want to get paid And I want to be hated
I dont want to do a thing lie in the sun And be loved, loved, Loved, loved by
So I called up the front to see if I could rent a porno said you better have a credit card I said, Honey, Im pretty up but I aint got no Visa I said, could you please, uh, help me? She said she was but I think she was just disgusted
And I was kinda myself 'cause it had all come down to this And I felt like a pervert but goddamn it lonely When youre sitting in hotel room naked as a jaybird Down in Orlando in the of the night
So I up an old friend to see how he was doing But he sounded like a robot and it was like I barely him So I I had to go, then I couldnt take it any longer You know the desire to throw my naked Out the fifth of the Holiday Inn kept getting stronger
I tried to a cold shower but I couldnt get my nerve up I sat in that hotel room and tried to cut my own hair was the worst idea that I had all day But goddamn, it gets lonely in F L O R I D A
Then I thought to myself what the hell was a jaybird And just what the hell does it look and what the hell am I doing So I tried to write a song it but this is all I got You know I sang it for your and she said she liked it a lot
Except the part killing myself And the part about trying to find a rich She said, You have gone to sea world You might have had a time
I said, Honey, thanks for the input, for the advice But I think that the only way Im ever going back to Is if I life twice
'Cause I dont want to do a thing And I want to be And I want to get well And I dont want to be
I dont want to do a thing lie in the sun And be loved, loved, Loved, loved by