I was sitting naked in a Holiday Inn in Orlando And it was the morning of the day of the year I didn't know who I was and I thought I mightve been Dando But if I was him what the hell was I doing here
So I asked myself one simple What would I do the rest of my life? If I knew I couldnt fail, I guess I'd get the out of Orlando And find me a rich and beautiful
'Cause I dont want to do a thing And I want to be And I to get paid well And I want to be hated
I dont to do a damn thing lie in the sun And be loved, loved, Loved, loved by
So I called up the front desk to see if I rent a porno They you better have a credit card I said, Honey, Im hard up but I aint got no Visa I said, could you please, uh, help me? She she was sorry but I think she was just disgusted
And I was kinda myself 'cause it had all come down to this And I felt a pervert but goddamn it gets lonely When youre sitting in your hotel naked as a jaybird Down in Orlando in the middle of the
So I called up an old friend to see how he was But he sounded like a robot and it was I barely knew him So I said I had to go, I couldnt take it any longer You know the to throw my naked body Out the fifth of the Holiday Inn kept getting stronger
I tried to take a cold but I couldnt get my nerve up I just sat in that room and tried to cut my own hair That was the worst that I had all day But goddamn, it gets lonely in F L O R I D A
Then I thought to just what the hell was a jaybird And just what the hell does it look like and the hell am I doing So I tried to write a song about it but is all I got You I sang it for your girlfriend and she said she liked it a lot
Except the part about killing And the part about trying to find a wife She said, You should have gone to sea You have had a better time
I said, Honey, thanks for the input, for the advice But I think that the only way Im ever going to Orlando Is if I live twice
'Cause I want to do a damn thing And I to be appreciated And I want to get paid And I dont to be hated
I want to do a damn thing lie in the sun And be loved, loved, Loved, by everyone