I was sitting in a Holiday Inn down in Orlando And it was the morning of the last day of the I didn't who I was and I thought I mightve been Evan Dando But if I was him then what the hell was I doing
So I asked myself one simple What I do with the rest of my life? If I knew I couldnt fail, I guess I'd get the out of Orlando And find me a and beautiful wife
I dont want to do a damn thing And I want to be And I want to get well And I dont want to be
I want to do a damn thing lie in the sun And be loved, loved, Loved, loved by
So I up the front desk to see if I could rent a porno They said you have a credit card I said, Honey, Im pretty up but I aint got no Visa I said, Honey you please, uh, help me? She said she was sorry but I think she was just
And I was kinda disgusted 'cause it had all come down to this And I like a pervert but goddamn it gets lonely When youre sitting in your room naked as a jaybird Down in Orlando in the of the night
So I called up an old friend to see how he was But he sounded a robot and it was like I barely knew him So I said I had to go, then I couldnt it any longer You know the to throw my naked body Out the floor of the Holiday Inn kept getting stronger
I tried to take a shower but I couldnt get my nerve up I just sat in hotel room and tried to cut my own hair That was the idea that I had all day But goddamn, it gets down in F L O R I D A
Then I thought to just what the hell was a jaybird And just the hell does it look like and what the hell am I doing So I tried to a song about it but this is all I got You know I sang it for your and she said she liked it a lot
Except the part about myself And the about trying to find a rich wife She said, You should have to sea world You might have had a time
I said, Honey, thanks for the input, for the advice But I think the only way Im ever going back to Orlando Is if I live life
'Cause I dont to do a damn thing And I to be appreciated And I want to get well And I want to be hated
I dont want to do a damn lie in the sun And be loved, loved, Loved, by everyone