I was sitting in a Holiday Inn down in Orlando And it was the morning of the last day of the I didn't who I was and I thought I mightve been Evan Dando But if I was him then what the hell was I here
So I asked myself one simple What would I do with the of my life? If I knew I couldnt fail, I guess I'd get the hell out of And find me a and beautiful wife
'Cause I dont to do a damn thing And I want to be And I want to get paid And I dont want to be
I dont to do a damn thing lie in the sun And be loved, loved, Loved, loved by
So I called up the front to see if I could rent a porno said you better have a credit card I said, Honey, Im pretty up but I aint got no Visa I said, could you please, uh, help me? She said she was sorry but I think she was disgusted
And I was kinda myself 'cause it had all come down to this And I felt like a but goddamn it gets lonely youre sitting in your hotel room naked as a jaybird Down in Orlando in the of the night
So I called up an old to see how he was doing But he sounded like a robot and it was like I barely him So I said I had to go, I couldnt take it any longer You know the desire to throw my naked Out the fifth floor of the Inn kept getting stronger
I tried to take a cold shower but I couldnt get my up I just sat in that hotel room and to cut my own hair That was the worst that I had all day But goddamn, it lonely down in F L O R I D A
Then I thought to myself just what the was a jaybird And what the hell does it look like and what the hell am I doing So I tried to write a song about it but is all I got You know I it for your girlfriend and she said she liked it a lot
Except the part killing myself And the part about trying to a rich wife She said, You should gone to sea world You have had a better time
I said, Honey, thanks for the input, for the advice But I think the only way Im ever going back to Orlando Is if I life twice
'Cause I dont want to do a damn And I want to be And I want to get well And I dont to be hated
I dont want to do a thing lie in the sun And be loved, loved, Loved, by everyone