I was sitting naked in a Holiday Inn down in And it was the of the last day of the year I know who I was and I thought I mightve been Evan Dando But if I was him then the hell was I doing here
So I asked one simple question would I do with the rest of my life? If I I couldnt fail, I guess I'd get the hell out of Orlando And find me a rich and beautiful
'Cause I dont want to do a damn And I to be appreciated And I to get paid well And I want to be hated
I dont want to do a thing lie in the sun And be loved, loved, Loved, loved by
So I up the front desk to see if I could rent a porno said you better have a credit card I said, Honey, Im pretty hard up but I aint got no I said, Honey could you please, uh, me? She she was sorry but I think she was just disgusted
And I was kinda disgusted myself it had all come down to this And I felt like a pervert but goddamn it gets When youre sitting in your hotel room as a jaybird in Orlando in the middle of the night
So I called up an old to see how he was doing But he like a robot and it was like I barely knew him So I I had to go, then I couldnt take it any longer You know the to throw my naked body Out the fifth floor of the Holiday Inn kept stronger
I tried to take a cold shower but I couldnt get my up I just sat in that hotel room and tried to cut my own That was the worst that I had all day But goddamn, it gets down in F L O R I D A
Then I thought to just what the hell was a jaybird And just what the hell does it look like and what the am I doing So I tried to write a song it but this is all I got You know I sang it for your and she said she liked it a lot
the part about killing myself And the part trying to find a rich wife She said, You should have gone to sea You might have had a better
I said, Honey, thanks for the input, thanks for the But I think that the only way Im ever going back to Is if I life twice
'Cause I dont want to do a damn And I to be appreciated And I want to get well And I want to be hated
I dont want to do a damn lie in the sun And be loved, loved, Loved, by everyone