I was naked in a Holiday Inn down in Orlando And it was the morning of the day of the year I didn't who I was and I thought I mightve been Evan Dando But if I was him then what the hell was I doing
So I myself one simple question What would I do with the of my life? If I knew I couldnt fail, I I'd get the hell out of Orlando And find me a rich and beautiful
'Cause I dont want to do a thing And I want to be And I want to get well And I dont want to be
I dont to do a damn thing lie in the sun And be loved, loved, Loved, by everyone
So I called up the front desk to see if I could a porno They you better have a credit card I said, Honey, Im pretty hard up but I got no Visa I said, could you please, uh, help me? She said she was sorry but I she was just disgusted
And I was kinda disgusted 'cause it had all come down to this And I felt like a pervert but goddamn it lonely When youre sitting in your room naked as a jaybird in Orlando in the middle of the night
So I up an old friend to see how he was doing But he sounded like a robot and it was like I barely him So I said I had to go, then I couldnt it any longer You know the desire to my naked body Out the fifth of the Holiday Inn kept getting stronger
I tried to take a cold but I couldnt get my nerve up I just sat in that hotel room and to cut my own hair That was the worst that I had all day But goddamn, it lonely down in F L O R I D A
Then I to myself just what the hell was a jaybird And just what the hell does it look like and the hell am I doing So I tried to write a about it but this is all I got You know I sang it for your girlfriend and she said she it a lot
the part about killing myself And the part about trying to find a wife She said, You should have to sea world You might have had a time
I said, Honey, thanks for the input, for the advice But I that the only way Im ever going back to Orlando Is if I live twice
'Cause I want to do a damn thing And I to be appreciated And I to get paid well And I want to be hated
I dont want to do a damn lie in the sun And be loved, loved, Loved, by everyone