I was sitting naked in a Holiday Inn in Orlando And it was the of the last day of the year I didn't know who I was and I thought I been Evan Dando But if I was him then what the hell was I here
So I asked myself one question What would I do the rest of my life? If I knew I fail, I guess I'd get the hell out of Orlando And find me a rich and beautiful
I dont want to do a damn thing And I to be appreciated And I want to get well And I dont want to be
I dont to do a damn thing lie in the sun And be loved, loved, Loved, by everyone
So I called up the front desk to see if I could a porno They said you better have a card I said, Honey, Im pretty hard up but I aint got no I said, Honey you please, uh, help me? She said she was sorry but I think she was disgusted
And I was kinda disgusted myself 'cause it had all come to this And I like a pervert but goddamn it gets lonely When youre sitting in hotel room naked as a jaybird Down in in the middle of the night
So I up an old friend to see how he was doing But he sounded a robot and it was like I barely knew him So I said I had to go, I couldnt take it any longer You know the desire to my naked body Out the fifth floor of the Holiday Inn kept getting
I tried to take a cold shower but I couldnt get my up I just sat in that room and tried to cut my own hair was the worst idea that I had all day But goddamn, it lonely down in F L O R I D A
Then I thought to myself just what the was a jaybird And just what the hell does it look and what the hell am I doing So I tried to write a song about it but is all I got You know I sang it for girlfriend and she said she liked it a lot
Except the part about killing And the part trying to find a rich wife She said, You should have gone to sea You might have had a better
I said, Honey, thanks for the input, thanks for the But I think that the only way Im ever going to Orlando Is if I live twice
'Cause I dont want to do a damn And I want to be And I want to get paid And I dont want to be
I want to do a damn thing lie in the sun And be loved, loved, Loved, loved by