Or So They Say

I've never been able to stand on a table
Without using both of my feet
I've always resisted the choice that was listed
Whenever I sat down to eat

Don't think me rude but that dress is so low cut
Your navel is sticking out
And not that I'm curious but seeing how low yours is
I wonder where mine is about

I read in the newspapers only today
That tomorrow's will be even better
Liquid detergent is now guaranteed
To absorb all the dirt from your sweater

Or so they say, or so they say
Or so they say

We once had a neighbor who came from Jamaica
No, she came of her own accord
Who talked with an accent like that of a Dachshund
Whose cousin the Queen had adored

How would you like it if I was invited
To Lords on the first day of play?
I'm no Gary Sobers but I can bowl overs
In quite an unorthodox way

Now cricket's a game that can baffle us all
It's the silly mid-on that gets me
Silly or not, it's enthralling to watch
Only maidens of course disagree

Or so they say, or so they say
Or so they say

Life is so often a dullish affair
It's no wonder that crime has increased
What does it matter, if there's no hereafter
We're here after all just to breathe

Or so they say, or so they say
Or so they say

Or so they say, or so they say
Or so they say

And as I finish playing
This is my way of saying
The end