One Of Us Cannot Be Wrong

I lit a thin green candle
To make you jealous of me,
But the room just filled up with mosquitoes
They heard that my body was free
Then I took the dust of a long sleepless night
And I put it in your little shoe,
Then I confess that I tortured the dress
That you wore for the world to look through.

I showed my heart to the doctor
He said I'd just have to quit
Then he wrote himself a prescription
And your name was mentioned in it,
Then he locked himself in a library shelf
With the details of our honeymoon
and I hear from the nurse that he's gotten much worse
and his practice is all in a ruin.

I heard of a saint who had loved you
So I studied all night in his school
He taught that the duty of lovers
Is to tarnish the golden rule,
And just when I was sure that his teachings were pure
He drowned himself in the pool,
His body is gone, but back here on the lawn
His spirit continues to drool.

An Eskimo showed me a movie
He'd recently taken of you
The poor man could hardly stop shivering,
His lips and his fingers were blue
I suppose that he froze when the wind took your clothes
And I guess he just never got warm
But you stand there so nice in your blizzard of ice
O please let me come into the storm.