[Verse 1]
A blowjob from your girlfriend is what I desire.
Cuz your girl has lips like Stephen Tyler.
Dont hate on me, cuz Im hotter than some spices.
Plus your girl is like Wal-mart.
Everyday. Low Prices.
Last night your girl kept me waiting.
While you were home alone, just masturbating.
Here Rufus, go fetch this stick.
Because I dont kill my dogs.
Like a certain Michael Vick.
I ate at BW3s, (Buffalo Wild Wings)
Now Im totally full.
They give you wings just like a Red Bull.
Im not like Lil Wayne bringin the lollipop.
Im more like Fiddy and I bring the whole candy shop.
My momma always told me not to talk to strangers.
Or the Jonas Brothers because,
They attract more eight year olds than the Power Rangers. (haha!)
You be lookin at little boys.
I think thats whack son.
Bcuz you cant spell therapist. (the rapist)
Without Michael Jackson.
[Chorus]
This is my rap and its about to blow your mind.
My name is Cody Freeland and Im one of a kind.
After this rap, Im gonna be huge.
Now lets go to verse number two.
[Verse 2]
Hey bitch, get me some food.
Thats what Ill tell her.
But she cant hear me just like Helen Keller.
Come here and let me see your hips shake, yo.
By the look of your facial hair,
Youre more juiced up than Jose Canseco.
Girl, you so ugly, youre never gonna marry.
But when you sing in the shower,
You sound better than Katy Perry. (which isnt saying much.)
You broke up with me cuz I was talking some smack.
But youre like Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Baby, youll be back.
If you get in a fight,
You know Ill defend ya.
Like Jesus cuz we all know he was a ninja.
Come tell me what you think about this ring.
Ooh, is it for me?
Girl, you be dreamin like Martin Luther King.
Think about this when youre playing with her crotch.
Youre gonna need a Jack Links condom,
Cuz youre messin with Sasquatch.
[Chorus]
This is my rap, and its about to blow your mind.
My name is Cody Freeland and Im one of a kind.
You wish you could, but youll never be me.
Okay, now its time for verse number three.
YouTube time!!!
[Verse 3]
I heard that Miley Cyrus was dead.
And that Britney Spears would sound better,
With a voice like Fred.
My dog got a Piece of Me.
I had to see my doctor.
Britney got herpes from blowing Chris Crocker! (ouch!)
Nigahiga is classic like an episode of Family Guy.
By watching How to be Gangster, I feel Im pretty fly.
My cat freakin bit my finger just like Charlie.
Youre so childish, you Tivo iCarly.
I turn Fred off as soon as he says Heyy.
Miley Cyrus has a deeper voice than TayZonday.
Sorry Dave Days, but youre still the best.
Youre just as big as HotForWords chest.
Bo Burnham is my idol just like Derek Jeter.
So is Ashley Tisdale, Id love to meet her.
SxePhil has his Douche bag of the Day
Today it goes to Michael Buckley for being extremely gay.
Are you listening to Esmee Denters? Oh my Gosh!
Youve gotta be kidding me. Its just Smosh.
Girl, you almost as stupid as Miss Teen South Carolina.
And youre just as wide as Obama Girls vagina.
[Chorus]
This is my rap, and it just blew your mind, because
My name is Cody Freeland and Im one of a kind.
Time to go now, I hope you had fun.
But Ill see you later cuz this song is done.
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