Official Historian on Shirley Jean Berell

I? m the official historian on Shirley Jean Berrell
I? ve know her since God only knows and I won? t tell
I caught her the first time she stumbled and fell
And surely she knows me just as well

I can tell you her birthday and her daddy? s middle name
The uncles on her mama? s side and the once they don? t claim
What she? s got for Christmas since 1952
And that? s only the beginning of the things I could tell you

'Cause I? m the official historian on Shirley Jean Berrell
I? ve known her since God only knows and I won? t tell
I caught her the first time she stumbled and fell
And surely she knows me just as well

I can tell you her favorite song and where she likes to park
And why to this very day she? s scared of the dark
How she got her nickname and that scar behind her knee
If there? s anything you need to know about Shirley just ask me

I know where she? s ticklish and her every little quirk
The funnies she don? t read and her number at work
I know what she stands for and what she won? t allow
The only thing that I don? t know is where she is right now

But I? m the official historian on Shirley Jean Berrell
I? ve know her since God only knows and I won? t tell
I caught her the first time she stumbled and fell
And surely she knows me just as well

Oh, surely she knows me just as well