No Hablo Inglés

My teacher asked me where my homework was
And that's when I told her
No hablo Ingls

Policeman caught me doing 90
And that's when pulled me over
No hablo Ingls

A hippy with a tambourine
Asking me if I could spare a dollar
No hablo Ingls

Some douchebag at the club tries to pick a fight
And grabs my collar
No hablo Ingls

One, when I'm not feeling it
Two, when someone's full of shit
Three, when I get cut off at the bar

To make a getaway it's all you gotta say
Quatro, cinco, seis
No hablo Ingls, no hablo Ingls
No hablo Ingls, no hablo Ingls

My nephew asks me if I'd take him
To the Jonas Brothers movie
No hablo Ingls

Walking my dog I see a sign that says
To please pick up the doodie
No hablo Ingls

My mamma gets mad 'cause I never call my dad
On his birthday
No hablo Ingls

A guy walks up and says
"Doda esta casel de pepe"
He no habla Ingls

One, so many different uses
Two, you don't need no excuses
Three, it's as easy as the third grade

The perfect getaway it's all you've gotta say
Quatro, cinco, seis
No hablo Ingls, no hablo Ingls
No hablo Ingls, no hablo Ingls

Did you brush your teeth?
No hablo Ingls
Where'd you leave your pants?
No hablo Ingls

Did you feed the fish?
No hablo Ingls
Do you like my band?
Wait, don't answer that

No hablo Ingls, no hablo Ingls
No hablo Ingls, no hablo Ingls

Do you wanna buy some Girl Scout cookies?
No hablo Ingls
Did one of you guys pee in the pool?
No hablo Ingls

Hey, how 'bout we all get together and go to the ballet?
No hablo Ingls
Can I borrow that beer?
No hablo Ingls

No hablo Ingls, no hablo Ingls
No hablo Ingls