Now, I'll tell ya a tale that'll yer heart That a few people knew, ta start It all took place when our tour was booked at the SeaTac Hilton? I'll guarantee ev'ry word's the Gospel Got witnesses ta it, too, 'Cause we all with a fella by the name a' Milton
Now Milton was tour director, Electrical piano-playin' connector An' the slave-drivin'-est conductor That we ever in our lives He'd say "Whaddya mean, ya need rest? "The world don't care ya look yer best! "Simply show up at six A.M. with your instruments ...and your wives!"
in sorta of "Bringing In The Sheaves" way] Shall we at the airport?
He'd always in the nick a' time A good five minutes ahead a' flight A-lookin' like he'd been drug a needle's eye stand there, stoned and about ta choke On his Egg McMuffin an' his giant An' then throw all the tickets on the counter and say "Check the bags and fly!" "Well, whaddya mean, this is too weight? "We only got forty-six a' freight! "And if it go, who's gonna explain it to our fan club in Tacoma?"
We'd all get embarassed an' for the plane While Milton there, bein' profane But somehow he always managed ta get on board ...in sort of a
When the drinks served up yonder...
Well, we at th' other end All the trouble to commence again Though had ordered three station wagons, a pickup truck and a limo And he'd phoned ahead to that Number Two Cussin' an' an' turnin' blue We'd always end up two Datsoons and a Pinto
Now Milton took all a' stuff in stride Laid on the floor, an' an' cried But we looked up to him for hope and salvation But we'd sink to the a' trav'lers hell When he'd check us in a remote And grab the clerk by his shirt an' tie an' say "Whaddya mean, reservacines?"
Milton's bolder...
shut himself in room one-oh-four Let nobody in he swept the floor Adjusted the lampshade, aligned the TV, the faucet, called the promoter "Well, mean we're the warmup show? "You're puttin' me on! stars, ya know! "And this the way we was treated last summer at Six Flags Over Dakota! "Now we have a hunnert percent top billing, "Two-thirds in advance, a' course, you silly! "I'm sure we prefer a chauffered limosine and two dressing rooms, please. "I'm what? Well, so's wife! She's not? Well, to each his own. "Beg pardon, it in my what? Well, really, Merle who?"
William Morris, us working...
Now, Milton was a good friend a' mine An' stuck together on down that line But there was one or two over which we just had to dee-bate Like Is not necessarily an assurance that the crowd ain't gonna start throwin' An' when ya arrive at four for a o'clock show An' the stage built an' there's no electricity About all ya could do is sit on yer butt an' cut However, you give ol' Milton four bodies, a nine-foot grand, a beer and a cigarette An' you just knew that show was gonna be ...outta
Bringing in the in the bread...
Now one up there in Washington We didn't get paid for a we'd done An' poor ol' Milton couldn't live that; his brain just shorted out. Well, he himself in the bathroom An' then when he didn't come out for an hour an' a We figgered that was wrong, but we had to remove all doubt We stood transfixed in and horror When we down that there bathroom door And I hope I never see a sight like that no, I don't There was nothin' to do but our eyes, an' bow our heads, an' vocalize With a silent five-part hymn, for him
a friend we had in Milton...
Now gettin' ready, come next December To put another concert tour And I'm sad to say ol' Milton a-gonna be with us No, it ain't be exactly the same they introduce us without his name So Milton, wherever you are, we hope you us! See, Milton has moved on down the the rainbow, lookin' for gold Yeah, he's up where the stage lights is always on But we can't that curly hair When we saw him a-settin' there Holdin' his tambourine, his thumb, an' sound asleep on the john