Now, I'll tell ya a that'll bust yer heart That a few people knew, ta start It all took place when our concert tour was at the SeaTac Hilton? guarantee ev'ry word's the Gospel truth Got witnesses ta it, too, 'Cause we all toured a fella by the name a' Milton
Now was o-fficial tour director, Electrical plug connector An' the slave-drivin'-est travel That we ever in our lives say "Whaddya mean, ya need more rest? "The world care whether ya look yer best! "Simply show up promptly at six A.M. with your instruments ...and wives!"
[Choir; in sorta of "Bringing In The Sheaves" Shall we gather at the
He'd always in the nick a' time A good five ahead a' flight time like he'd been drug through a needle's eye He'd stand there, stoned and about ta On his Egg McMuffin an' his Coke An' he'd throw all the tickets on the counter and say "Check the bags and fly!" "Well, whaddya mean, this is too much "We only got forty-six a' freight! "And if it don't go, who's gonna explain it to our fan in Tacoma?"
We'd all get embarassed an' for the plane While Milton there, bein' profane But somehow he managed ta get on board ...in sort of a coma
When the drinks served up yonder...
Well, we at th' other end All the seemed to commence again Though Milton had ordered three station wagons, a pickup and a limo And though he'd phoned ahead to that Two Cussin' an' fussin' an' turnin' always end up with two Datsoons and a Pinto
Now Milton took all a' that in stride on the floor, an' kicked an' cried But we always up to him for hope and salvation But sink to the bottom a' trav'lers hell When he'd check us in a remote And he'd the clerk by his shirt an' tie an' say "Whaddya mean, reservacines?"
Milton's bolder...
He'd shut in room one-oh-four Let nobody in he swept the floor Adjusted the lampshade, aligned the TV, the faucet, called the promoter "Well, whaddya mean the warmup show? "You're puttin' me on! stars, ya know! "And this the way we was treated last summer at Six Flags Over Dakota! "Now we have a hunnert percent top billing, "Two-thirds in advance, a' course, you silly! "I'm sure we prefer a chauffered and two air-conditioned dressing rooms, please. "I'm what? Well, so's your wife! not? Well, to each his own. "Beg pardon, it in my what? Well, really, Merle who?"
William Morris, us working...
Now, Milton was a real friend a' mine An' stuck together on down that line But there was one or two points over which we just had to takin'-your-clothes-off-an'-hangin'-from-a-cross-in-front-a'-the-Tri-County-Fairgrounds Is not necessarily an that the crowd ain't gonna start throwin' tomatas An' when ya arrive at for a five o'clock show An' the stage ain't built an' there's no About all ya could do is sit on yer butt an' cut However, you give ol' Milton four strong bodies, a nine-foot grand, a beer and a An' you just knew that show was gonna be ...outta
Bringing in the in the bread...
Now one night up in Washington We didn't get paid for a show done An' poor ol' Milton couldn't with that; his brain just shorted out. Well, he locked himself in the An' then when he didn't come out for an an' a half We figgered that somethin' was wrong, but we had to all doubt We stood in shock and horror When we busted down that bathroom door And I I never see a sight like that again; no, I don't There was nothin' to do but our eyes, an' bow our heads, an' vocalize With a silent five-part hymn, for him
What a we had in Milton...
Now we're gettin' ready, come December To put another tour together And I'm sad to say ol' Milton a-gonna be with us No, it ain't gonna be exactly the When they introduce us without his So Milton, wherever you are, we you miss us! See, has moved on down the road the rainbow, lookin' for gold Yeah, he's up where the stage lights is always on But we can't forget that curly When we saw him a-settin' there Holdin' his tambourine, suckin' his thumb, an' asleep on the john