Now, I'll tell ya a that'll bust yer heart That a few people knew, ta start It all took place when our concert was booked at the SeaTac Hilton? guarantee ev'ry word's the Gospel truth Got witnesses ta it, too, 'Cause we all toured with a by the name a' Milton
Now Milton was o-fficial director, Electrical piano-playin' connector An' the travel conductor That we ever seen in our He'd say "Whaddya mean, ya need more "The world care whether ya look yer best! "Simply show up at six A.M. with your instruments ...and your wives!"
in sorta of "Bringing In The Sheaves" way] Shall we at the airport?
He'd always arrive in the a' time A five minutes ahead a' flight time A-lookin' like he'd been through a needle's eye He'd stand there, stoned and ta choke On his Egg McMuffin an' his Coke An' he'd throw all the tickets on the counter and say "Check the and let's fly!" "Well, whaddya mean, this is too much "We only got forty-six a' freight! "And if it don't go, who's gonna it to our fan club in Tacoma?"
We'd all get an' head for the plane While Milton there, bein' profane But somehow he managed ta get on board ...in sort of a coma
When the drinks served up yonder...
Well, we deplaned at th' end All the trouble seemed to again Though Milton had ordered three station wagons, a pickup and a limo And though he'd phoned to that Number Two Cussin' an' fussin' an' turnin' We'd always end up with two and a Pinto
Now Milton took all a' that in stride Laid on the floor, an' kicked an' But we always up to him for hope and salvation But sink to the bottom a' trav'lers hell When check us in a remote motel And he'd grab the clerk by his an' tie an' say "Whaddya mean, reservacines?"
Milton's bolder...
shut himself in room one-oh-four Let in 'til he swept the floor Adjusted the lampshade, aligned the TV, the faucet, called the promoter "Well, whaddya mean the warmup show? "You're me on! We're stars, ya know! "And this ain't the way we was treated last at Six Flags Over Dakota! "Now we have a hunnert percent top billing, "Two-thirds in advance, a' course, you silly! "I'm sure we prefer a limosine and two air-conditioned dressing rooms, please. "I'm Well, so's your wife! She's not? Well, to each his own. "Beg pardon, it in my what? Well, really, Merle who?"
William Morris, us working...
Now, was a real good friend a' mine An' we'd stuck together on down line But was one or two points over which we just had to dee-bate Like Is not necessarily an that the crowd ain't gonna start throwin' tomatas An' ya arrive at four for a five o'clock show An' the stage ain't built an' there's no About all ya could do is sit on yer butt an' cut However, you give ol' Milton strong bodies, a nine-foot grand, a beer and a cigarette An' you just knew show was gonna be ...outta state
Bringing in the in the bread...
Now one night up in Washington We didn't get paid for a show we'd An' poor ol' Milton live with that; his brain just shorted out. Well, he locked himself in the An' when he didn't come out for an hour an' a half We figgered that somethin' was wrong, but we had to remove all We stood in shock and horror When we busted down that bathroom door And I hope I never see a sight that again; no, I don't There was to do but close our eyes, an' bow our heads, an' vocalize With a five-part acapella hymn, for him
What a we had in Milton...
Now gettin' ready, come next December To put another concert tour And I'm sad to say ol' Milton a-gonna be with us No, it ain't gonna be the same When they introduce us his name So Milton, wherever you are, we you miss us! See, Milton has moved on down the Over the rainbow, lookin' for Yeah, he's up there where the stage is always on But we can't forget that hair last we saw him a-settin' there Holdin' his tambourine, suckin' his thumb, an' asleep on the john