Now, I'll tell ya a tale that'll bust yer only a few people knew, ta start It all took place our concert tour was booked at the SeaTac Hilton? I'll ev'ry word's the Gospel truth Got ta prove it, too, 'Cause we all with a fella by the name a' Milton
Now was o-fficial tour director, Electrical plug connector An' the slave-drivin'-est travel That we ever seen in our He'd say "Whaddya mean, ya need rest? "The world don't whether ya look yer best! "Simply show up promptly at six A.M. your instruments ...and your wives!"
[Choir; in sorta of "Bringing In The Sheaves" we gather at the airport?
He'd always arrive in the nick a' A good minutes ahead a' flight time A-lookin' he'd been drug through a needle's eye He'd there, stoned and about ta choke On his Egg McMuffin an' his Coke An' then he'd all the tickets on the counter and say "Check the bags and fly!" "Well, whaddya mean, this is too much "We only got pieces a' freight! "And if it don't go, gonna explain it to our fan club in Tacoma?"
We'd all get an' head for the plane Milton stood there, bein' profane But somehow he always managed ta get on board ...in sort of a
When the were served up yonder...
Well, we deplaned at th' end All the trouble seemed to again Though Milton had ordered three wagons, a pickup truck and a limo And though he'd phoned to that Number Two Cussin' an' an' turnin' blue We'd always end up with two and a Pinto
Now Milton took all a' that stuff in on the floor, an' kicked an' cried But we always looked up to him for hope and But we'd sink to the bottom a' trav'lers When he'd check us in a motel And he'd grab the clerk by his an' tie an' say "Whaddya mean, reservacines?"
getting bolder...
He'd shut himself in one-oh-four Let nobody in he swept the floor Adjusted the lampshade, aligned the TV, fixed the faucet, the promoter "Well, whaddya we're the warmup show? "You're me on! We're stars, ya know! "And ain't the way we was treated last summer at Six Flags Over Dakota! "Now we gotta have a percent top billing, "Two-thirds in advance, a' course, you silly! "I'm sure we prefer a limosine and two air-conditioned dressing rooms, please. "I'm what? Well, so's your wife! not? Well, to each his own. "Beg pardon, it in my what? Well, really, Merle who?"
William Morris, us working...
Now, Milton was a real friend a' mine An' we'd stuck together on that line But was one or two points over which we just had to dee-bate Like Is not necessarily an that the crowd ain't gonna start throwin' tomatas An' when ya at four for a five o'clock show An' the ain't built an' there's no electricity About all ya could do is sit on yer butt an' cut However, you give ol' Milton four strong bodies, a grand, a beer and a cigarette An' you just knew that show was be ...outta state
Bringing in the in the bread...
Now one night up there in We didn't get paid for a show done An' poor ol' Milton couldn't live with that; his brain shorted out. Well, he locked himself in the An' then when he didn't out for an hour an' a half We figgered somethin' was wrong, but we had to remove all doubt We stood transfixed in and horror When we busted that there bathroom door And I hope I never see a sight like that again; no, I There was to do but close our eyes, an' bow our heads, an' vocalize With a silent acapella hymn, for him
What a we had in Milton...
Now gettin' ready, come next December To put another concert together And I'm sad to say ol' Milton ain't be with us No, it ain't gonna be exactly the When they us without his name So Milton, wherever you are, we hope you us! See, Milton has moved on down the the rainbow, lookin' for gold Yeah, up there where the stage lights is always on But we can't forget that hair When we saw him a-settin' there Holdin' his tambourine, suckin' his thumb, an' sound asleep on the