Now, I'll tell ya a tale bust yer heart only a few people knew, ta start It all took place when our concert tour was booked at the Hilton? I'll guarantee ev'ry the Gospel truth Got ta prove it, too, 'Cause we all toured with a fella by the name a'
Now was o-fficial tour director, piano-playin' plug connector An' the travel conductor That we seen in our lives say "Whaddya mean, ya need more rest? "The world don't care whether ya yer best! "Simply show up promptly at six A.M. with your instruments ...and wives!"
in sorta of "Bringing In The Sheaves" way] Shall we gather at the
He'd arrive in the nick a' time A good five minutes a' flight time A-lookin' like he'd drug through a needle's eye stand there, stoned and about ta choke On his Egg McMuffin an' his Coke An' then throw all the tickets on the counter and say "Check the and let's fly!" "Well, whaddya mean, this is too weight? "We got forty-six pieces a' freight! "And if it don't go, gonna explain it to our fan club in Tacoma?"
all get embarassed an' head for the plane While Milton there, bein' profane But somehow he always managed ta get on ...in sort of a coma
When the drinks were up yonder...
Well, we at th' other end All the seemed to commence again Though Milton had ordered three station wagons, a pickup truck and a And though he'd ahead to that Number Two Cussin' an' fussin' an' blue We'd always end up with two Datsoons and a
Now Milton took all a' stuff in stride Laid on the floor, an' an' cried But we always looked up to him for and salvation But we'd sink to the bottom a' trav'lers When he'd us in a remote motel And he'd grab the by his shirt an' tie an' say "Whaddya mean, reservacines?"
Milton's bolder...
He'd himself in room one-oh-four Let nobody in 'til he swept the Adjusted the lampshade, the TV, fixed the faucet, called the promoter "Well, mean we're the warmup show? "You're me on! We're stars, ya know! "And this ain't the way we was treated summer at Six Flags Over Dakota! "Now we gotta have a percent top billing, "Two-thirds in advance, a' course, you silly! "I'm sure we prefer a limosine and two air-conditioned dressing rooms, please. "I'm what? Well, so's your wife! She's not? Well, to his own. "Beg pardon, it in my what? Well, really, Merle who?"
William Morris, us working...
Now, Milton was a real good a' mine An' we'd stuck together on down that But there was one or two over which we just had to dee-bate Like Is not necessarily an assurance the crowd ain't gonna start throwin' tomatas An' when ya arrive at for a five o'clock show An' the stage ain't built an' no electricity About all ya do is sit on yer butt an' cut bait However, you give ol' four strong bodies, a nine-foot grand, a beer and a cigarette An' you just knew that show was be ...outta state
Bringing in the in the bread...
Now one night up in Washington We get paid for a show we'd done An' poor ol' Milton live with that; his brain just shorted out. Well, he locked in the bathroom An' then when he didn't come out for an hour an' a We that somethin' was wrong, but we had to remove all doubt We stood transfixed in shock and we busted down that there bathroom door And I hope I never see a sight that again; no, I don't There was to do but close our eyes, an' bow our heads, an' vocalize With a silent acapella hymn, for him
What a we had in Milton...
Now we're gettin' ready, come next To put concert tour together And I'm sad to say ol' Milton ain't a-gonna be us No, it ain't gonna be the same When they introduce us without his So Milton, wherever you are, we you miss us! See, Milton has on down the road Over the rainbow, for gold Yeah, he's up where the stage lights is always on But we can't that curly hair last we saw him a-settin' there Holdin' his tambourine, his thumb, an' sound asleep on the john