Now, I'll ya a tale that'll bust yer heart That a few people knew, ta start It all took place our concert tour was booked at the SeaTac Hilton? I'll guarantee word's the Gospel truth Got witnesses ta it, too, 'Cause we all with a fella by the name a' Milton
Now Milton was o-fficial director, Electrical piano-playin' plug An' the slave-drivin'-est conductor That we ever seen in our say "Whaddya mean, ya need more rest? "The world care whether ya look yer best! "Simply show up promptly at six A.M. with your ...and your wives!"
in sorta of "Bringing In The Sheaves" way] Shall we gather at the
always arrive in the nick a' time A good minutes ahead a' flight time A-lookin' like he'd drug through a needle's eye He'd stand there, stoned and ta choke On his Egg an' his giant Coke An' then he'd all the tickets on the counter and say "Check the bags and fly!" "Well, whaddya mean, this is too much "We only got pieces a' freight! "And if it don't go, who's explain it to our fan club in Tacoma?"
all get embarassed an' head for the plane While Milton there, bein' profane But somehow he managed ta get on board ...in sort of a coma
When the were served up yonder...
Well, we at th' other end All the trouble seemed to again Milton had ordered three station wagons, a pickup truck and a limo And though he'd ahead to that Number Two an' fussin' an' turnin' blue We'd always end up two Datsoons and a Pinto
Now Milton took all a' that stuff in Laid on the floor, an' an' cried But we always up to him for hope and salvation But we'd sink to the bottom a' trav'lers When he'd check us in a remote And he'd grab the clerk by his an' tie an' say "Whaddya mean, reservacines?"
Milton's bolder...
He'd shut himself in room Let nobody in 'til he the floor Adjusted the lampshade, aligned the TV, the faucet, called the promoter "Well, whaddya mean we're the show? "You're me on! We're stars, ya know! "And this ain't the way we was treated last summer at Six Flags Dakota! "Now we gotta have a percent top billing, "Two-thirds in advance, a' course, you silly! "I'm sure we a chauffered limosine and two air-conditioned dressing rooms, please. "I'm Well, so's your wife! She's not? Well, to each his own. "Beg pardon, it in my what? Well, really, Merle who?"
William Morris, us working...
Now, Milton was a real good a' mine An' we'd stuck together on down that But there was one or two points which we just had to dee-bate Like Is not an assurance that the crowd ain't gonna start throwin' tomatas An' when ya at four for a five o'clock show An' the ain't built an' there's no electricity all ya could do is sit on yer butt an' cut bait However, you give ol' four strong bodies, a nine-foot grand, a beer and a cigarette An' you just knew show was gonna be ...outta state
Bringing in the in the bread...
Now one night up in Washington We get paid for a show we'd done An' poor ol' Milton couldn't live that; his brain just shorted out. Well, he locked himself in the An' when he didn't come out for an hour an' a half We that somethin' was wrong, but we had to remove all doubt We stood transfixed in shock and When we busted down that there bathroom And I hope I see a sight like that again; no, I don't was nothin' to do but close our eyes, an' bow our heads, an' vocalize With a silent acapella hymn, for him
What a we had in Milton...
Now we're ready, come next December To put another concert together And I'm sad to say ol' Milton ain't a-gonna be us No, it ain't gonna be the same When they introduce us his name So Milton, you are, we hope you miss us! See, has moved on down the road the rainbow, lookin' for gold Yeah, he's up there the stage lights is always on But we can't forget that hair When we saw him a-settin' there Holdin' his tambourine, suckin' his thumb, an' asleep on the john