Now, I'll tell ya a tale that'll yer heart That only a few knew, ta start It all took place when our concert tour was booked at the Hilton? guarantee ev'ry word's the Gospel truth Got witnesses ta it, too, we all toured with a fella by the name a' Milton
Now was o-fficial tour director, Electrical piano-playin' plug An' the slave-drivin'-est travel That we ever seen in our say "Whaddya mean, ya need more rest? "The don't care whether ya look yer best! "Simply show up promptly at six A.M. with instruments ...and your wives!"
[Choir; in of "Bringing In The Sheaves" way] Shall we gather at the
He'd arrive in the nick a' time A good five minutes a' flight time A-lookin' he'd been drug through a needle's eye He'd stand there, and about ta choke On his Egg an' his giant Coke An' then throw all the tickets on the counter and say "Check the and let's fly!" "Well, mean, this is too much weight? "We got forty-six pieces a' freight! "And if it don't go, who's gonna explain it to our fan in Tacoma?"
We'd all get embarassed an' for the plane While Milton stood there, bein' But somehow he always ta get on board ...in sort of a coma
When the were served up yonder...
Well, we at th' other end All the trouble to commence again Though Milton had ordered three station wagons, a truck and a limo And though he'd ahead to that Number Two Cussin' an' fussin' an' turnin' We'd end up with two Datsoons and a Pinto
Now Milton took all a' that in stride Laid on the floor, an' an' cried But we always up to him for hope and salvation But we'd sink to the bottom a' hell When he'd check us in a remote And he'd grab the clerk by his an' tie an' say "Whaddya mean, reservacines?"
Milton's bolder...
He'd shut himself in one-oh-four Let in 'til he swept the floor Adjusted the lampshade, aligned the TV, fixed the faucet, the promoter "Well, whaddya mean we're the warmup "You're puttin' me on! stars, ya know! "And this ain't the way we was treated summer at Six Flags Over Dakota! "Now we gotta have a percent top billing, "Two-thirds in advance, a' course, you silly! "I'm sure we prefer a chauffered limosine and two dressing rooms, please. "I'm what? Well, so's your wife! She's not? Well, to his own. "Beg pardon, it in my what? Well, really, Merle who?"
William Morris, us working...
Now, Milton was a real good a' mine An' we'd stuck together on down line But was one or two points over which we just had to dee-bate Like Is not necessarily an assurance that the crowd gonna start throwin' tomatas An' when ya at four for a five o'clock show An' the stage ain't built an' there's no About all ya could do is sit on yer butt an' cut However, you give ol' Milton strong bodies, a nine-foot grand, a beer and a cigarette An' you knew that show was gonna be ...outta state
Bringing in the in the bread...
Now one up there in Washington We didn't get paid for a show done An' poor ol' Milton couldn't live with that; his brain just out. Well, he himself in the bathroom An' then when he didn't out for an hour an' a half We that somethin' was wrong, but we had to remove all doubt We stood in shock and horror When we busted down that there door And I hope I never see a sight like again; no, I don't was nothin' to do but close our eyes, an' bow our heads, an' vocalize With a silent acapella hymn, for him
What a we had in Milton...
Now gettin' ready, come next December To put concert tour together And I'm sad to say ol' ain't a-gonna be with us No, it ain't be exactly the same they introduce us without his name So Milton, wherever you are, we you miss us! See, Milton has moved on down the Over the rainbow, for gold Yeah, he's up where the stage lights is always on But we can't that curly hair When last we saw him there Holdin' his tambourine, suckin' his thumb, an' asleep on the john