Now, I'll tell ya a that'll bust yer heart That a few people knew, ta start It all took when our concert tour was booked at the SeaTac Hilton? I'll guarantee word's the Gospel truth Got witnesses ta it, too, 'Cause we all toured with a by the name a' Milton
Now Milton was tour director, Electrical plug connector An' the slave-drivin'-est conductor That we ever in our lives He'd say "Whaddya mean, ya need more "The world care whether ya look yer best! "Simply up promptly at six A.M. with your instruments ...and your wives!"
[Choir; in sorta of "Bringing In The Sheaves" Shall we at the airport?
He'd always arrive in the a' time A good five minutes ahead a' time like he'd been drug through a needle's eye He'd stand there, and about ta choke On his Egg an' his giant Coke An' then he'd throw all the on the counter and say "Check the and let's fly!" "Well, whaddya mean, this is too weight? "We got forty-six pieces a' freight! "And if it don't go, gonna explain it to our fan club in Tacoma?"
We'd all get an' head for the plane Milton stood there, bein' profane But somehow he managed ta get on board ...in sort of a coma
When the were served up yonder...
Well, we deplaned at th' end All the trouble seemed to commence Though Milton had ordered three station wagons, a truck and a limo And though he'd ahead to that Number Two Cussin' an' an' turnin' blue We'd end up with two Datsoons and a Pinto
Now Milton all a' that stuff in stride Laid on the floor, an' an' cried But we always looked up to him for hope and But we'd sink to the bottom a' trav'lers When he'd us in a remote motel And he'd grab the clerk by his an' tie an' say "Whaddya mean, reservacines?"
Milton's bolder...
He'd shut himself in room Let nobody in he swept the floor Adjusted the lampshade, aligned the TV, fixed the faucet, called the "Well, whaddya we're the warmup show? "You're me on! We're stars, ya know! "And this the way we was treated last summer at Six Flags Over Dakota! "Now we gotta have a hunnert top billing, "Two-thirds in advance, a' course, you silly! "I'm sure we prefer a chauffered limosine and two air-conditioned rooms, please. "I'm what? Well, so's your wife! not? Well, to each his own. "Beg pardon, it in my what? Well, really, Merle who?"
William Morris, us working...
Now, Milton was a good friend a' mine An' stuck together on down that line But there was one or two points which we just had to dee-bate Like Is not necessarily an that the crowd ain't gonna start throwin' tomatas An' ya arrive at four for a five o'clock show An' the stage ain't built an' no electricity About all ya could do is sit on yer an' cut bait However, you ol' Milton four strong bodies, a nine-foot grand, a beer and a cigarette An' you just knew that was gonna be ...outta state
Bringing in the in the bread...
Now one night up there in We get paid for a show we'd done An' poor ol' couldn't live with that; his brain just shorted out. Well, he locked himself in the An' then he didn't come out for an hour an' a half We figgered that somethin' was wrong, but we had to remove all We stood transfixed in shock and When we down that there bathroom door And I I never see a sight like that again; no, I don't was nothin' to do but close our eyes, an' bow our heads, an' vocalize With a silent five-part hymn, for him
What a we had in Milton...
Now gettin' ready, come next December To put concert tour together And I'm sad to say ol' Milton ain't a-gonna be us No, it ain't be exactly the same When they us without his name So Milton, wherever you are, we hope you us! See, Milton has on down the road the rainbow, lookin' for gold Yeah, he's up there where the stage is always on But we can't forget that curly When last we saw him a-settin' Holdin' his tambourine, suckin' his thumb, an' sound asleep on the