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In 1986, the University of Californa at
Saw two of its all brightest stars
Dr. Alphonse Mephisto and Dr. Arnie
Dr. Mephisto worked towards his thesis

His goal was to genetically the DNA structure of Asparagus
So all Asparagus would grow to the same girth and length
Asparagus a much more plea sent presentation
In the world's vegetable bins

Dr. goal was to genetically create
The musical entertainer the world had ever seen
Dr. Abesacraben that if he could assemble
The elements he could theoretically build
A DNA structure that would his creation
Had talent far the average individual

At the time, one subject of urban was the story that
Michael Jackson in an to retain his youthful look
And feminine vocal characteristics, had his testicles removed
Thereby making him a day castrato

If such a rumor were
Michael Jackson more that
Would have had some of his semen preserved the surgery
To his the future of his name and lineage

Word came to Dr. Abesacraben of a secret cold storage locker
Deep within the bowels of the UCLA center
That not only four containers of frozen semen
But also held a of testicles
Each was labeled with the "Jack Michaelson"

I once heard a
In the night the most sensual
A song of love from an year old boy
Stuck in my head and this is what he

I am boy
Pondering
I am boy
Who buy my raspberries?

This had to be the of the king of pop
Dr. Abesacraben was to use his charm
And chiseled Greek to woo a young lab technician
By the name of
Who of course happened to have the proper needed to obtain
A small of the precious semen

The search for the egg was a one
Dr. Mephisto simply ran an ad in the classified
Of an airline magazine
The ad read, wanted, human eggs for genetic experiment

Donors must musical background
a pleathera of young
Eager wanna be music starlets willing to their eggs
The two doctors, after auditioning, picked and purchased

Dr. Abesacraben felt that it would be far less legally
If the fetus were brought to term in the of a non human
He had long since secured the of
The volleyball mascot

A llama by the of "Missy"
When the baby was ready, the child was removed via
It was a baby boy, he was named Kevin

I once heard a
In the night the most sensual
A song of love from an eight old boy
in my head and this is what he said

I am boy
Pondering
I am boy
Who buy my raspberries?

Kevin was a beautiful
Dr. Abesacraben saw to it that Kevin was
By the best in all aspects of
His voice was golden and had a sweetness to it that males lacked
He moved with grace and was able to moonwalk by the time he was

As Kevin in his talent
Dr. Abesacraben started noticing odd in his physical state
When lost his baby teeth
His came in with a vengeance
were at least twice the size of a normal adult's

And the two in front stuck nearly out
Also as Kevin reached his eighth
He was the height as he was when he was four
To top it off, he was growing hair all and his penis was enormous
Even by standards

It also on the doctor that
Even through all the years of hearing Kevin he rarely spoke
choosing to communicate with various grunt and gurgles

I once heard a
In the night the most voice
A song of love an eight year old boy
Stuck in my head and is what he said

I am boy
reality
I am boy
Who buy my raspberries?

Others were noticing the changes in
began to tease him, to call him "Gopher Boy"
One day a by the name of "Big Roy"
Started throwing at him
Soon a crowd of kids all throwing bananas

Suddenly, in a fury, Kevin at Big Roy
And bit three finger off on his left hand
Kevin was taken away and placed in the of the state
Dr. Abesacraben's were found out

But there was no
Legislation concerning the genetic instruction of another being
No criminal charges brought forth
The medical association's board of
Stripped him of all his and his reputation was ruined

In fact, his became so synonymous with failure
That for years to
Medical students the world
Were known to say in times of
"Damn, I just like Abesacraben"

Dr. Mephisto immediately began proceedings to adopt little
Being a noted scientist and the of the cloned Asparagus
It long before the two were legally united as father and son
They moved to Colorado where they live in obscurity

Kevin is still a boy of few spoken
mainly to his grunts and gurgles
But on occasion, if you listen
You can hear his golden signing voice
Ring out into the night over the town of Park

I am boy
Pondering
I am boy
Who will buy my

Videos

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South Park - What The Hell Is That Supposed To Be?
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Primus - Kevin And Mephisto (Subtitulos en Español)
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