Love Song of the Beta Male

Don't ask me to make you laugh until you cry
Because you know I'm on good form if I can raise a smile
And don't ask me to sweep you up and carry you across the threshold
Because you know I'd only hurt myself if I were to try
I can tell you bout the way you make me feel inside
When I lie beside you in our bed at night
And I can listen to your troubles and hold you tight
And tell you everything'll be alright
But don't ask me to spin you round and dance with you
Because you know I've two left feet and no guts with that
And don't ask me to rise to your political debate
I don't need reminding of my ignorance
I can tell you about the way you make me feel inside
When I lie beside you in our bed at night
And I can listen to your troubles and hold you tight
And tell you everything'll be alright
And it doesn't matter what I do or what I say
Because you're only gonna be yourself anyway
And I don't need to tell you anything anyway
To know that everything'll be alright
If you don't ask me to save you, from my mother when she stays too long
Don't ask me to buy you fancy lingerie
Well its an awful lot of money and I wouldn't know your size
And don't ask me to make you rich or even bring home the bacon
I will cook it for you when I'm here
And when I'm out on the road I'll write sentimental
Songs about the way you make me feel inside
When I lie beside you in our bed at night
And we can listen to the traffic and I'll hold you tight
And tell you everything'll be alright
And it doesn't matter what I do or what I say
Because you're only gonna be yourself anyway
And I don't need to tell you anything anyway
To know that everything'll be alright
Don't ask me to spin you round and dance with you
Don't ask me to walk 500 miles for you
Don't ask me to sweep you up and carry you across the threshold
Don't ask me to stand up to your big big brother for you
Don't ask me to mend your broken car for you